ShortyzWeirdoWorld

1st Month

2012-01-26T22:23:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Masya'allah... Alhamdulillah... 1st Month of the year 2012 is almost over and life has been good. Alhamdulillah... Syukuran...

Subahan'allah, the challenges i faced may not be as crucial as some people might have or is having but for my capability, it is quite a handful for me. Nevertheless, Allah guided me through it and also with providing incredible humans to support me through as well.

Masya'allah... The challenges has made an impact on me and have made me learnt something out of it. Other than having the same old saying that life's like that and that parts and parcels of life it is a wonderful journey whereby people will go through similar things all together. (im not making any sense, am i?) Well, the impact is that, im not the only one having problems and people who is less fortunate to face greater problems lead live differently (strongly). Therefore to think the other way, it makes me feel that i fall under the fortunate people... (if you know what i mean...)

Astarghfirullah... I may have slipped and fall but nevertheless, i have learnt a thing or two... Alhamdulillah...

May we all be bless and in the protection of Allah... Amin...

-->a lesson to be learnt...

Since the day i went away

2012-01-24T17:45:00.002+08:00

Assalamaualaikum...

As stated on the title above,i can say that i have been away from my friends for quite sometime. I do miss them though things happened for a reason. Anywayz, when i received a message from them,i was overjoyed. I wish i can tell themhow much i miss them and hoped to be like before. Unfortunately,we grew up pretty fast and we are adults now.It is really hard for us to meet as frequent as when we were in school. (if u know what i mean).

--> life is a rollercoaster

Long weekend CNY PH

2012-01-21T11:27:00.004+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO THE CHINESE... DRAGON YEAR!!!

Since it's CNY, im using colours of the CNY, usually it;s red and yellow. n so0o0o...

(I was born in the year of the Dragon myself - 24 years ago. The year 1988.)

OMG! I was born TWENTY FOUR YEARS AGO. Look how time goes by without us realising it. I could still remember those times in Primary and Secondary school and now I am an adult. Wo0ow!!! Life ... That's just life.

Today is a Saturday, a start of a weekend. Loooooooooonnnnnnggggg Weekends. Monday and tuesday are PH. So0, what are my plans? Do you have any plans to occupy yourself this 4 days???

My plan is very simple. Today, i thought of clearing my wardrobe. It's like a ransack in there. Then afterwards maybe just maybe out to fix some shoes. Tomorrow, Faiz will be playing soccer at CAGE in Punggol and I'll be the camera man for the day. The other two days, we still have yet to plan.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO THE CHINESE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE REST.

Life is simple...

A comeback

2012-01-20T18:22:00.007+08:00

I'll be making a comeback!!! Wuho0o0o.. Okay, actually i had it written and posted but i was using google chrome and it doesn't shows the colours that i used and when i wanted to edit it i actually deleted off the previous writing before the questions below....

What make me want a comeback here???
- I and Faiz(Kanda) was having this search on our names and guess what came up??? Yep2, this blog page came up. I started to read on the postings and i realise that i actually enjoyed writing and reading. I never thought i had it good. Nor praising myself but seriously, i forgot most of what i actually wrote and when i read it back, i was like... "I actually wrote that???" Besides, the other blogpage, looks gloomy and doesn't really make me feel or inspire me to write.

Why did you decided to leave in the first place???
- I thought that it's time to have a new face, make over or something but i ended up having a totally depressed makeover. see people not every make over is an awesome, life changing experience.

Tell us what can we(readers) expect from you this time around?
-hmm... I can't really tell you what you can expect but im sure you will see something magical... :D

Hahahaha... Feels like some celebrity... hahaha... Well, this is one of the reason why i enjoy writing here. Other than having fun, i actually convey messages to, if not to others but to myself. I almost forgot how it feels like being me... hahaha... :D

2009-05-20T15:44:00.001+08:00

my new blog addy - http://thenextlifeofmine.blogspot.com

For one more day...

2008-08-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

The other day i watched Tyra Show and I was fascinated as well as stunned about what the show is all about. It's about girls mental sickness towards themselves in the mirror versus what is the facts. There were three girls giving a task to describe their pictures with their partners. Describes what they feel about the picture.

They were so0 depressed towards each pictures and criticise each and every one of the pictures. Kind of sad... All of the negative comments. However, their partners were given the exact same picture and the exact same task only what do they feel about the girls in that picture. These guys were absolutely happy and given positive comments about the pictures. It was the total opposite and they totally think otherwise than what woman thinks.

This is a lesson to be learnt people, especially woman... Think positive and be positive... Pictures doesn't matter with what is being said in the heart... (one point for me)... hahaha

For one more day... If you can spend one more day with someone who have passed away, who would it be and what would you said to him/her?

It's not random. Right after Tyra Show, Oprah Winfrey was next. They talked about this bo0k entitled, "For one more day" written by, Mitch Albom. From the question, you would have guessed what it's all about.

It would be very touching and a miracle if it were to happen to any of us. Think about it and asked yourself... :D

~ Love is a gift from up above...

Helo0o0

2008-08-07T22:52:00.003+08:00

helo0... Just dropping by to say, HELO0O0O!!!... Dnt expect to0 much from my blog aite... ;)

Green

2008-05-27T12:32:00.002+08:00

Green is nice, green is co0l but green with envy, to the grave i go. Huaks... I dont know what i'm going to type today. hmm.... I just feel like typing in gree/lime colour and it just crossed my mind that synonym is it? Green with Envy? huaks... o0hky... Let's drop the green thingy...

I watched Prison Break 3 yesterday and i should hv known that the box contains the head of Scofield's lover, Sara. DEAD! Gosh! He still doesn't know. I wonder if his brother ever going to tell him? How would he react? Gosh! That's pretty horrible. I can imagine how that feels like, though...

Before watching Prison Break I watched a documentary at arts central about The Human Spirit, World's Smallest Kids. It's quite an eye opener for me. There are indeed lots of different people in the world. Different shapes and sizes. It's really co0l. I cired about it somehow. huaks...

It's about kids, not that normal to us, living among us. Most people would call them 'dwarves'. How the being is born is indeed, still a mystery. However, they are still humans with heart and feelings. Though they are different, they are still the same inside. Like one of them mentioned, 'this is my normal'. The documentary focuses not only on one person but several others of her connections.

Taylor is a 13 years old girl whose height is not more than 3 feet high. She is very small and fragile from the television. Nevertheless, her character is more than i could say for myself. She is ambitious, active and very optimistic about her life and differences. What really moved me is when she said, 'i love myself. I love being small. I won't change abit of me cause I love the way i am.' Her ambition is to be a chef. Dream of having her own restaurant, being the supervisor and be a chef of the restaurant. It is really interesting. I can learn alot from her, though. Small doesn't mean weak... :D

Life isn't easy... :D No one ever said it will be...

DAVID COOK WON THE TITLE!

2008-05-23T10:59:00.003+08:00

The Finale ended with me tearing up my eyes. Expected David Archuleta to win but somewhere in my heart wish it will be David Cook and it is David Cook who won. My heart exploded when Ryan announced David Cook! I was overjoyed with the success that David has achieved. I am freaking darn happy for him... Can't wait for his Album to be produced! Wuho0o0o...!!!

David Cook, my Idol and the American Idol... anywayz, AC/DC, American Charm/ David Cook... huaks... Love you!!

Who will it be?

2008-05-18T14:36:00.003+08:00

I thought final 3 was the Final Showdown. Next week will be the finale! Gosh! It's Davids fight for the American Idol. David Cook and David Achuleta.... Who will be the next AMERICAN IDOL?

It sure is really difficult to judge. David Achuleta, as I said-soulful voice. David Co0k-rock legend... I mean, Rock Star, baby. Huaks... Love them both... Can they BOTH be the next AMERICAN IDOLS?! We wish... huaks... Have the record company rolling, people! :D

Looking forward to the performance and the result show this coming wednesday and thursday respectively. I'm going to seat tight on my chair... Well, VOTE FOR DAVID COOK!!!

American Idol! David Co0k!

2008-05-15T12:49:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was the show for the Final 3... They all did well but not as much awesome as last week to be honest. However, it is quite tensed for all three of them cause all of them are very talented and marvellous all at the same time. Nevertheless, there will only be one winer and who would that be?

David Co0k! He's a real Rock Star, David Achuleta-he's a sweet heart with an amazing vocals for a 17 year old boy, Syesha- she's a great singer with potential talent of becoming an actress or erm, musical show singer? Erk... Will it be DavidS showdown?Argh! I am NERVOUS! Of course, i vote for David Co0k but at the same time it isn't my vote that counts... It's AMERICA! Who would you cho0se?? Damn! I hope David will get through and make a platinum album! Seriously, I really want more if David Co0k.

Tonight, the truth will be out and everyone is crossing their fingers hoping their idol will get through. VOTE FOR DAVID COOK!!!

Anywayz, last night performance from David Co0k is amazing as always. Especially when he sang 'I don't want to miss a thing' and 'First time i saw your face'... Both songs rock me hell yeah!! I love it cause i got engaged despite of him being my idol. But in my position, i felt like he's already is a ROCK STAR. For a moment, i see him as Jon Bon Jovi! Love it when he pitch the notes... Lovely! Awesome! Amazaing! Extraordinary for me!

It's a Saturday!

2008-05-10T10:07:00.005+08:00

Go0d Morning, Everyone! It's Saturday morning and I'm feeling go0o0o0oddddd..... Hopefully it'll last throughout the day. I've been thinking about my stuff i've been keeping. I've made up my mind that I am going to throw whatever i don't need anymore. Simply life comes in new lately... I'm still getting over it and recovering myself form the incident or perhaps the lo0sing it. I knew you're around here with me, dear. Love you so0 dearly... I won't throw you away though... You're my precious! Duh! huaks...

Well, Saturday... Before i went to work, i watched 'Comeback' and I didn't know that Matthew Lawrence were one of the cast (Erk)... Damn! He's body is such a hottie, baby!! Oof... But he's face, just reminds me of that son-of-biatch which make me lost apetite.. huaks... o0h well, Andrew Lawrence have yet to surprise me... huak.. :P

o0hky, found so0 much thingy today... Wondering still... anyhow... I went to Raffles City on lunch time and nothing much special. I bought mixed fruit and still am eating it. yum yum.... Got all my fav fruit even orange to0... Wo0w... I should walk a distance to get go0d fo0d with go0d price y'know... wo0w... hmm...

Talking about fo0d, I LO0O0O0O00VVVVVEEEEEEE Fo0d! I've been craving for something but i don't know what fo0d i'm craving for. I've eaten quite alot of my fav fo0d already but still something missing and my throat is somehow wants that fo0d... Anyone can think of any fo0d i might be missing? huaks... Like as if you people know what's my fav fo0d at the first place.... hausk...

o0o0o... Before i end, DAVID COOK is through to next week... THE FINAL SHOWDOWN!! Who would be the next AMERICAN IDOL? I vote for David Co0k! More Co0king from Co0k himself... Love new recipe... Seriously, I love co0king... of course you peeps know that because i love fo0d... huaks... I won't miss it for the world! Support David Co0k, people! hehe... :D

Such a piz!

2008-05-09T12:18:00.005+08:00

Hey, it's has been quite long time since i update, right? huaks.. Duh! Go0d News, my home internet has been disconnected AGAIN! I won't be re-activating any so0ner. So0, I won't be having my update pictures around here until i figure out another way to do so0...

Yesterday, I've written some paragraph and simply it just got erased "po0f"... Well, i didn't retrive it cause yesterday wasn't such a go0d day after all. I got really pissed off because of someone.(C'mon MAN! I was just joking... I did said that i was JOKING! Can't you hear it? Is it me or is it YOU should get cotton bud into your ears? Can't take jokes, i will talk to you like an operator from now on.. o0h yeah, if you wanna complain... Remind me not to day sorry before the complain o0hky... I won't apologise before and after being complain, i ain't doing any double apology for someone like you...) If he ever reads this, thanks alot for the complain that doesn't seem to be appropriate either. You know where to find me and complain about me, cause i really don't give a damn... I don't know if i can take this any longer cause it's just not thingy y'know... I dnt know how to explain but damn!

o0h well, trying to cope as long as i can cope... :D

My New Mission

2008-04-30T19:17:00.002+08:00

Every year my mission or goal is to lo0se a few pounds. And each year, i never lo0se any(actually i did but it'll get back to the weight b4; seem like my weight stayed the same)... So0 i decided as of today, i'm going to change my mission or goal... I want to gain a few more pounds... Being the Ugliest Betty... :D and so0 I said it :D ...

Eating! Eat, Eat, Eat!! Weehee... I'm going to eat a whole lot more :D

Not only that, the global warming has made the Earth warmer than ever. I can miss using the blanket through the night when it's raining. As my hair is getting longer my head's getting heavier and having headache quite often. Other than that, my hair also is getting thinner. Erm, I love my hair long but i don't like to tie up my hair and it was damn straight, like i said before it's kind of boring. hahaha... I'm so0 going to cut my hair short. The last time i had my hair short was in secondary two? And through the years I kind of trim bit by bit and had it curl and straight and curl it again and straight again. The last curl was on 23rd June last year. It became straight about 6 months later. And i just trim it 3 to 4 months ago... Now, I've decided to cut it short. But not sure how... hmmm... Another reason, when i sleep, i felt like my hair seem to be strangling me... and oh, it will grow.. :D.. so0 don't go missing it ... hehe

so0o0o0o

that's my hair and my body... Wonder how i'll lo0k like after my mission accomplished? hmmm... Fat, short,... TOTALLY UGLIEST BETTY!!! WUHO0O0O :D :D

No more scary hair like this... haha.. I am always scary... Don't you think so0?

To0 girlish, don't you think... Bye2 long hair...

hmm... I'm nervous to do so0... Well, i'm still young to do silly stuff, right? Besides, i want to be pretty ugly only for me... so0, why not start today? I wonder what style? Anyone? Wanna suggest some hairstyle? Just give me the link of the pixy... Cause if u describe it, it won't get a picture of the hairstyle... :D ;)

Anyone wants Coffee?

2008-04-30T08:49:00.003+08:00

Wednesday is here again. So0n it'll be one week. Anywayz, let's not tear it out. American Idol the Final 5. Who do you think is going to be the next American Idol? Well, i can proudly say that these season all of the contestant are very talented and every each one of them are already American Idol. For my say, I don't even know who should be the American Idol even if I love to listen/watch (to) David Co0k performance. Frankly, they are superb. However, I vote for David Co0k to go till the end. I am a fan of David Co0k, people!!!

0ohky that's for tonight. This morning, i feel light in my heart. The smell of the air seem so0 fresh and the sky seem so0 wide and beautiful clouds floating. Somehow, i feel so0 free with no worries and sorrow in me. However, when i lo0ked up the sky the only image that's in my mind were Bob. I know he's watching over me like he always does. United with my late grandfather, i believe they are smiling down on me. Making sure that i should be fine.

Anyways, when i arrived in the office my colleague had coffee on her table. I am not a fan of coffee, seriously. Although, I do drink it as a fav when i was 14 year old. Not anymore, but today.. The smell of coffee is such refreshing and wonderous. What has gotten into me? Just when i thought of Starbuck one of the driver bought us coffee and i was like.. erk! I don't drink coffee. But not for him to feel bad, i just take it but then my other colleague are very the nice go and pass to teh others. heheh... :D

Coffee? What is so0 special about it? It contains caffiene and caffiene is not a healthy substance when consumed to0 much. It will cause headache, nausea and depression. No wonder i was quite depressed when it comes to the years back then. Yikes! However, not only coffee contains caffiene, tea and energy drinks/pills does to0. I did some research and the side effects can go to frequent urination... I went to the doctor and he thought i might have some problems that may have caused the problem. Now I know why. It's just that i've been drinking tea for the period of time. Even doctor don't know what's going on... What the hell? Should we even go to the doctor for the medication? Or should we only go for just... huaks... You know, I know... And i don't know if the rest knows... :D

So0, anyone coffee? Erm... I rather have chocolate... hahah another thing, chocolate also do contains caffiene... hmmmm.... huaks

After all I have been through

2008-04-29T08:13:00.005+08:00

I wanna thank you to my lovely bitches.After all i've been through and no one knew, you'd come through and i am grateful to have you two.

I am doing fine people. Had a go0d laugh over the weekend after my eyes were swollen with tears. It's much more worth to lo0se the tears on what happened than on the stupid little silly stuff like 'no one likes me'... hahaha.... o0hky... Memories ((estimated date)1st of March 1999 to 25th of April 2008) will always be played through the night, however. :D Missing you badly and may we meet in heaven dear. I l0ve you always forever and beyond.

So0 far, i tried not to grief over it and hey, do you know that no matter how strong aperson is, they will eventually breakdown at some point? Anywayz, I watched Silent Hill the other day and I remembered that it's the best and nasty movie. It does scares me at some point not because of the gruesome or zombies but being trapped in the other dimesnion of crazy, killing creature. I'd rather get lost and trapped in a jungle than being trapped in the other dimension.

Creepy! I also watched Hills have Eyes... Erk, another creepy yet normal movie to0 me. Some sort like mutant man, wrong turn... You can't possibly blame them for eating you alive. They are just trying to survive themselves. Put yourself in their shoes... I mean, take it this way, you killed the chicken and fishes to eat... They run just like you'll run from these cannibals..Erk, i think i'm going to be a vegetarian. And as always i need to shades down some pounds to0... Erm... I dnt noe if i can live w/o prawns... huaks... and crab... damn!

A trip to Changi Airport

2008-04-21T13:12:00.005+08:00

It has been a long time since i stepped into the Changi Airport. It started off with Vivo but change the itinery to Changi Airport when i found out that there is one bus 858 to the airport. Really co0l! I wasn't in the favour though but Yani has only a few cents in her ez-link and uses concession for the transport. So0, we got on the bus...

We slept along the way and I told her the reasons why i don't want to take the bus... One) Because it can get pretty dizzy as it goes around and around. Two) The time isn't saving at all when it comes to traffic jams or accident. 3) We can't sleep in the bus cause you might miss your stop unless it's the last stop... hahaha... There you go, the reasons why i'm not in the favour to take bus when i travel.

Back to two colours, got blanked when my background is black... huaks! Love it though... It's all about black... Anywayz, arriving at the stop i asked Yanie whether should we alight. She was dreaming btw.. And I nvr go to Chnagi Airport by bus via train... hahah So0 i'm a bit gongong! huaks... We alighted and kind of clueless where exactly we are... We just follow some people and head down to underpass... Stopped for a photosho0t session for awhile...We came up to a walk way and simply just laugh our heads off when we saw Budeget Terminal ... Can you believe it? We wanted to be at Terminal 2 end up somewhere else... So0, we just went in since I want to take a lo0k at it. Never been there before...

photosho0ting moment...

As we stepped in, there sat a handsome young man. Simple in style and really co0l and relax. Brown hair guy. We were in a hurry to the toilet and so0 we searched for the toilet. In the toilet, we called Mira or was it the other way round...? Anywayz, she will be meeting us later. After that i went to the other end, i saw two human being whom i thought a son and a mother with short hair. The son (whom i thought so0) was playing his guitar. I was just lo0king in fascination and in wonders. For a moment later, i realised they are both boys and I take a second lo0k which gave the other guy a 'what are you lo0king at?' lo0k at me... huaks... o0ps! I didn't know you're the friend cause I thought u're his mother from far... huaks!

So0 we waited for the bus to take us to Terminal 2. We walked towards the skytrain to get to the hawker centre at Terminal 1 for lunch. We didn't want to miss Mira out so0 we ate Indian Rojak while waiting for Mira. We were like two pigs eating the rojak... huaks.. HUNGRY PIGS!... huaks.. We talked and talked as per usual and Mira arrived so0ner after that.

I laughed my heads off seeing her walk into the hawker centre. She lo0ked like a PRIMARY SCHO0L GIRL ! haha.. She's ending her high sch year, though. I feel so0 old and wibbly when she said 'helo0, kakak'... Mampos! huaks.. Pleaselah eh... We ate lunch, I had Banana Split for lunch however... There after we went for Terminal 3. Yanie had to go home at 4.30pm so0 we had to send her back to Terminal 2. We had a bit fun at the SKytrain station and off to the train. Afterwards, Mira and I went to the MRT station.

abit fun here lo0k at her... Primary sch kid, i lo0k like ur tuisyen teacher... Aiyo0o0o!!!

Waited for the train to move, as usual doing my past time moments. When a caucasian guy walked towards the do0r in a rush. He's go0d-lo0king and perhaps abit to0 relax on the beach. He has long, shoulder length black hair, brown eyes, pointed nose and the body is just nice! huaks! Unfortunately enough, he kind of tripped over but managed to save himself. haha... While he was tripping, we kind of exchange eye contact. He lo0ked at me and I lo0ked at him straight in the eyes. (Do we have a moment there or what?) I couldn't stop myself from grinning. haha...

We went to Simei to check for Mira's fwens present and walked our way to her house. I waited for her at the void deck cause i know that if i go up, i won't go out and sat on the chair. Therefore i can't teach her maths or physic or whatever the subject is... Sorry Aunt... It's not that I didn't want to go up for other reasons, was just lazy... huaks...We were in the Mcdonald for like 3 hours or so0... Got back home late to know that A.I is half way through the results.

My heart was pumping fast and simply dropped to know that David CO0k was on the bottom three as per my brother claimed. Sho0ts! He's not! huaks! I was overjoyed to know that he's still in for another week as top 6... Yepee!! Way the go0 David... Btw, he's Single... WUHO0O0S... HAHAHA...

]

That's all folks... A trip to Changi Airport with Me... It was a short one... But i'm going for another trip there... :D

once bitten, twice i die!

2008-04-20T15:18:00.002+08:00

Yesterday bad day was brought forward to today and it was kind of sucks... That was lucky that it was just for half of the day. It wasn't as major as yesterday though but it was just a normal here and there... :D Anywayz, I've learnt my lesson and I to0k down every bo0king refrence no. that i to0k. At least, I can refer and I'm going to file it up so0 that I will save my arse and money for sure... From today onwards... huaks! Once bitten, twice I die..hahaha

I was delighted when MisSis(my new colleague) showed me the video clip of Church. Adam G Sevani was there with most of the casts... hehe... Damn cutelah! huaks...

Today, i feel abit restless since i slept lez than 5 hours yesterday due to watching a movie/chatting/complaining about my day... huaks! M.B**ch was supposed to meet me today but told me at the last hour there was a wedding. So0, i didn't even prepared anything for the day... When i was already at work, she msged me whetehr wanna go out... Memang nk kena penyampu punya B**ch.. Well, we'll meet on Wed for Airport, o0hky... Pretty tired been going out since last week... Have some credit since today is Sunday to0.. huaks..

Hmm, i'm just wasting time for now, today no pics to upload (selit) haha.. :P

19th April

2008-04-19T18:25:00.003+08:00

Today is just not my day...

Get onto a late train for starter... However, everything went well until come to an evening after lunch... Hmm... Got lots of haywiring around, man! I, myself get abit 'NoNeNg'... hahha.. I forgot alot of the steps somehow but at least i do remember and putting it a permanent save in my brian. Another shocking one would be the bo0king i made yesterday for today's tour and guess what it wasn't reflected in the system when i did checked twice right after i bo0ked it... Damn! The CSO was damn pissed off and i was like, aiyo0o0o... need to pay taxi fare... But lucky enough, the guest changed the tour enough time for him to get a p/up... That's 2... third one was about the tour-guide, Rich Sweet, i called her she nvr picked up and called back said that we nvr informed her... I told her i called and she was like saying, she was hving tour... then i told her that i realised that, and because of that I will call her later and since i got things to do i kind of a minute late to call n she called... Then she damn pissed off... Duh! U hv tour, like as if im so0 free lah... WTF! 4th, I kind of forgot to tell the office that the CSO bo0king is reflected and for the guest to be picked up at this hotel... End up of the day, I kena pay taxi fare also... haiz... Thought I got off from paying taxi fare...

After work, I met with Azian to get the hair cream i told her to buy. I wanted to get home early but she asked me to accompany her to eat. So0 we had dinner(only her) and thought we'll be off straight home. She wanted to go to Raffles City but she meant Raffles place. I wasn't into it. I rather walked to Raffles City, not that I didn't want to walk to Raffles place b'cuz of its far but i wasn't in the favour to walk to Raffles place. We were 'debating' which way to go at the traffic light and a couple of caucasain walked pass by (the ones at the b.k) and I kind of, o0hky why not we just follow them... Two of their fwens were behind me l0oking at me as if 'what the heck with this gal'... so0 EMBARRASSING... The green man lite and she pulled me to walk to Raffles Place, automatically i was damn pissed off and totally not in the favour of talking at all... All the way i was keeping quiet and then arrived at R.P i thought we'd take the mrt but she wanted to have some air... Waited for her then Zhan(her ex) came, I should've have known... Asked her what time she want to go off and she was like saying, the next day she's on off.. I take my leave and left... Somehow i feel like i should have just walked away when my instinct said so0...

Finally, i got home but before that i got down to 7-eleven to buy ro0t beer cause yesterday i didn't get to buy... Arrived at home, there wasn't anything to be fuss about until Sri called me to ask me to go online, i told her i was just opening my computer. She pester me to do it fast, i was quite damn piz for a moment. I was already online adn she didn't reply my msg, i told her that i want to go to the toilet and when i came back she was offline claiming that she's going to the toilet also.. waited for her yet she didn't come back. I msged her and said that she was signing in (my fo0t)... haha...

I was complaining to Mira about my day... I was feeling sleepy so0 i wanted to brush my teeth, found out that my bro has used my to0thbrush.. I was at my limit that i exploded! I BREAK my to0thbrush into half... C'mon if i want to have a breath the same as the smokers I would have just smoke myself... Thanks alot eh... I got to buy a new to0thbrush and hid it in the cupboard... Hmm... Haiz... Not my day seh today... (Singlish? huaks)

I sure learn my lesson... I'm not going to forget though... haiz..... haiz.....

Not for me

2008-04-18T11:28:00.005+08:00

Time pass by and years and years are over

My heart crumbles every time i hear the word

I hope it changes but no it doesn't

Disappointed the most, i suffers

Wish of a smile to lighten

End up with tears that flo0ded

How sad it is to answer

A call that never has any wonder

Lame to see a woman cry

For no love comes by

Shut her eyes, shut her mind

Shut her heart and said go0dbye

May she be hurt with the love of fantasy

May it just be the way it is

May the strength be in her to go on with life

May Almighty Him give her the shine.....

I came across a show and the feeling struck me. In addition, I searched for a picture of a gruesome pic of a heartbroken endup with this picture from Tyler McPherson. It's not connected to what i wrote but i am attracted to the painting. He painted it with a sponge and finishes it at 45minutes. Such a wonder... I think I won't even create such a wonderful painting myself.. hahah...

Street Kings

2008-04-14T18:41:00.006+08:00

What's up people? Previously on ShortyzWeirdoWorld: Reminiscing the moments i had for the celebrations of my bro's b'day and how it ends the day with such not a pleasant news.

Today! haha... I'm going to talk about Keanu Reeves latest movie, Street Kings. I went to watch it alone in the cinema at Causeway Point Cathay after work the other day. Watched 9.20pm show. I was quite surprised that there are alot of seats (best seats) have been occupied. Nevertheless, I watched it with full cinema... Co0l right? Of all the movies that i've watched lately, hadn't been that much of people around me...

The story started off with Keanu Reeves attacking some kidnappers. Korean kidnappers kidnapped a pair of twins from Thailand or something... hahah.. Everyone was praising him. He was such a humble but agressive detective. He were to be brought down for an incident about his previous partner. From a detective became a policeman who handles complaints... I didn't know that Chris Evans was one of the character in it. Really co0l!

They both discovered some suspicions and went on with their undercover. End up with such a drastic and dramatic scene. It was a disppointment to Tom (keanu Reeves) to be trusting his boss as a best friend. Pretty much, interesting and surprising that the boss kept the money in the walls! haha...

I'd give a 3/5 stars. Storyline, is co0l. Action-packed and not such a surprising twist for me... But the actors... huaks! Duh! Surprised me with Tom's reaction in the movie, He doesn't have any hesitation to kill... VERY AGRESSIVE!! CO0L!

one of the scene.. Isn't Chris Evans cute... huaks.. Hottie hot keanu reeves and chris evans... huaks...

Back on track

2008-04-13T19:38:00.000+08:00

Go0d news... Probably I might get back on track with blogs... huaks! Then again, I might just skip one two three days a time to0... huaks... Do Enjoy reading on...

My bro's birthday

2008-04-12T13:29:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday Bro! You're 26... hahaha... Can't believe that time passed by so0 fast eh... Hope you'll like the little present from me. The design, I like.. but lucky it's man's shirt... ahahhaa.... I still remember going into your wardrobe and to0k your shirt to wear... hausk... Such a lil sister am i...

On the 10th April was my bro's birthday. I thought there isn't any plans going on so0 I planned to go to the movie to watch Street Kings, starring Keanu Reeves. Lucky that my bro sms me in time... Asked me to join them if i'd like to0.. Duh! So0 they told me to meet them at Grand Hyatt Bar ?! hahah...

Reaching at the place, i was damn 'JAKON'... haha... Was my first time stepping into the place. It was co0l. haha... I did remember telling my friend that I'll step in there with my 'princess dress" (such a kiddy, lady, biatch)... 0ohky, my bro teased me fro wearing high heels that Azizah bought for my b'day... C'mon, at least I did make an effort to dress up a lil... huaks.. o0h well, just feels like it...

My bro asked if I want any drinks... I was like, what drink? He mentioned if i want soft drink or ADULT drink... hahaha... Duh! It's like huaks... So0 I ordered the same drink i had on my 18th Birthday... Huaks... So0 bad!!

The night didn't end there, my brother's fiancee and i went to the ladies and had some camwhore session... haha... Well, I had a camwhore on my own to0... Unfortunately, i'm at work so0 i manage to get 2 pictures from myspace that i uploaded yesterday... So0, only that am able to paste it here...

o0 well, we got home at the nick of time and ate some of my dad's co0k... Bought a cake and end up with 2 cakes cause my dad bought one.. NICE ONE TO0!! YUM YUM!!! HAHAHA...

Had great celebration although its small... but... end up with a very shocking news... My maternal grandpa's brother passed on... My bro was paranoid for a while cause that grandpa of ours is a very lovely persona and always reminscing my bro's childho0d days... He cried (that what i was told by his fiancee) and felt so0 dumpster such that it happened on his birthday...

Well, bro no sweat about it... I've gone through it 3 times... So0 be co0l about it... If i can go through it, so0 can you... ;D Love ya, bro...

That's all folks...

Untraceable

2008-04-07T22:05:00.000+08:00

Today was my off day, thought of waking up late but unfortunately like always i can't. Naturally... Anywayz, my plan for the day was catching up with the movies. Got two choices for that... Untraceable and Rogue Crocodile... Chosen title would be 'Untracebale'... It's NC-16. While buying the tix, the person who attended to me ask,' You're 16, right?' I didn't understand at first, i've forgotten that it's NC-16... Shee repeated saying," You're 16 or 17, right?" I was like... huh? o0h.. I'm twenty... haha... o0hky, i'm so0 surprised and happy hearing that... huaks....Anywayz...

Untraceable is yet another movie about murders but the go0d part, everyone who watch the death is/are the murderer/s.

It's normal for us to watch clips (any clips) from the internet website like youtube, movie6.net etc... Internet has make the world go insane. However, is it possible for internet to kill. Seems like it does in 'Untracebale'...

Like Saw, Untraceable is another jigsaw puzzle to kill people... Killing has never been easier with just a 'Click' away... Click 'Enter' and you're a murderer... There's a saying,"sharing files is stealing"... Will there be any, "sharing files is killing"?

Well, to me it is an interesting movie. Leaving you with a question whether internet comes positive or a threat to everyone. It takes a genius to do so0. However, curiousity of someone can kill others. So0, before you go for a website think twice before clicking 'enter'...

Boys

2008-04-06T10:50:00.008+08:00

Previously on ShortyWeirdoWorld: A random post claiming about me missing my lovely cat, Bob. I haven't got the chance to meet him (up until now) and am still missing him. Anywayz, my parents went to meet him and he's doing just fine. Also i did mention about Step up 2 being yet another inspirational movie. I realised why most of my friends preferred Step Up such that it has longer storyline than the dance itself. For Step Up2, it's a short and simple storyline with ample of dances moves from each or almost every scene... :D

Today, Boys! huaks... A general subject for typical girl to talk about. I'm single and I don't know how relationship goes (besides it's a corruption of one's life and another girl left to cry) ... Not to mention about my past relationships... Nevertheless, as much as I feared relationship, i know LOVE is the most wonderful thing that could ever happened to anyone. (You know what sort of Love i'm talking about here). o0hky..

So0, Boys?! Other than being 'Boys' what drives us(girls) to them? Charm?Heart?Attitude?Talents? There are lots of areas for us to fall for them, right gals? Do you ever asked yourself what actually one is attractive? I don't... but I come to realise when someone told me about having to know 'what you want in a man'. You can't possibly pick any0ne along the roadside, right?

Some of us like them meaty, some of us like them thin and some of us like them teddy... Me? haha... I like them to be just nice, not to0 meaty, not to0 bulit and simply just a pure heart to love me... (i'm being Emo!!) haha... Lo0k at the guy above... (Mo0se, known name in Step Up2) Skinny, Talented and DAMN ADORABLE!! Real name Adam G Sevani... He's only 16 years old and I have a crush on him. haha... Duh! He's a Star... Girls dro0l over him. haha... I'm just another typical girl...

Anotehr person Andrew Lawrence. Hearthrob after his brothers, Joey and Matthew Lawrence. He's brother Matthew Lawrence was my fav last time, until i realise he lo0ks like someone i knew and not a fav... I kind of backed it off.cause i don't want to dislike him for he lo0king like someone i don't like... huaks... Get what I mean? Nvrmind... Anotehr hearthrob guy... He's not skinny, neither is he meaty or to0 built... From the age of 3 he's a star... Talented... Go0d-lo0king and somehow he lo0ks like Ricky Martin...

Don't you think boys with thick lips are adorable and kissable? PLus with a charming smile can make a girl be under their spells. Body? Normal, 6 packs... WO0W!!!!! That brown short hair makes a girl to run her hand over... (easier than longer hair)... Blonde, i heard they are more fun than brown hair peeps genetically... To me, it's the individual.... hahha... Boys who knows how to dress and knows how to co0k for themselves (delicious ones especially) are combos to girls... huaks... Loveable personality can never defeat with those who have enchanting lo0ks etc... :D

Well, let's wrap this up... Boys... They are just certainly adorable and attractive to girls like we,girls are as adorable and attractive to them boys. We have our X-factors towards them. For all i know in general, we all want the 'PURE LOVE FROM THEIR HEART TO US'.... ..

Random

2008-03-17T13:13:00.000+08:00

Red the colour of anger but usually used for Love... Don't you think so0? Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. Did i ever said, That i am missing You? hahaha...

I'm just hanging down my pillow and my head is spinning. Got nothing to do and I feel like going out, which I feel kind of lazy to0. Y'know... When you go out, it's obvious that you'll spend your money. So0, yeah... hahaha...

Hey, did I mentioned to you peeps about Step Up 2? Well, it's HOTT!!! Seriously, I don't know how y'all rate it but i think i'm going to give it 5 out of 5. Wanna know why? Cause I believe it's not to0 short of a story nor to0 long. Short and simple, i'd say. Other than the story, the effects and dance... SUPERB!!!! haha... Call me Metal girl all you want, that doesn't mean that I don't have any interest to the other side of the world, if y'know what I mean? haha...

Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others! That's me and my lovely, Bob. He's so0 cute, right? haha.. Missing him so0 much. I wish he's here with me, sharing every moment of loneliness. If only, seriously... If this were to be carto0n and he knows how to use email. Damn! Every day I'd email him w/o fail. hahaha... I remember on those days when I got to rehearse to dance for scho0l competiton (remember girls?) ... He'll be watching and the next thing I know, he's fast asleep. Wonder if our dance is damn boring or our dance is to0 complicated for him that he got dizzy and dose of to sleep. hahaha... Love, love him... Muacks!!

Who is that?

2008-03-15T23:43:00.001+08:00

This has been a long time since I write blog, right? And yeah, i did said that I may not even write it no more or stopped blogging here n preferred leather bo0k... Well, let's just say whenever i do not update my blog it means im on a long vacation n posts are in leather bo0k... hahaha... I kind miss blogging though, cuz i see dust around my computer if ya know what i mean... hahhaa... Let's just put aside my boredness for not having updated computer for a while..

--> let's just start...

I was standing upfront and was excited for the show to start. He was behind, black and dull but lighted and shine by his personality. They know him and adores him. I? I have no clue of him. Who he is, was the last thing on my mind and to know he's huge.... Turns me off, cuz i know that I won't get close to even say my name to him.

Charming and sweet. He's every girls treat. Delicious to see but expensive to eat. Whoever he is, it's nice to see he exist. Which I wish i exist in his eyes that sees....

To0 bad, so0 sad. Life's just like that. No one does see what is infront of them until it drifted far far far away...

Knowing Somone

2008-02-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

To know someone is to talk and communicate with that person. By listening or hearing about 'facts' from others, isn't the way to judge that person. Probably at first, you can say that you're influenced by the words but when you're actually communicating with them, they actually turned out to be o0hky or the other way round. You ought to be sorry for yourself, if you're the type that listens to otherz. Investigate the matter rather than just having assumption about judging that somebody...

The End

2008-01-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

It just seems to me that this blog has become quite rusty, don't you think? Well, I come here not to update on things (although most of the posts did mentioned 'I'll be back for more updates" or something similar to that meaning) but to end things. I don't quite remember if I did mentioned about wanting my blog to be all different from the others blogger or probably similar in some ways. I mean, blogs are updates to keep in touch with some friends, right? What's going on right here, in my blog, seems nothing's slightly close to that now. I think it's more co0ler to have an old-fashioned kind of leather history.

I'm not really sure if there's going to be any blog left out of this addy but I'm sure I'll stick around for other stuff. Easier to find somethings around here. I hope you all have enjoyed some stuff here but I guess that I'm tired of it now. It doesn't matter anymore, now does it? So0, i guess this is go0dbye...

Some minute before 10 on Friday

2008-01-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

It's Friday again and the only thing that stick my ass at home is you know what... Supernatural!! Wuho0o0o.... I slept the whole day and woke up at 5pm. Went out to eat dinner at Yishun and back home at around 8 plus. Hours to kill time. Surf the net and thinking of what I want to have for snack... It's nearly 9.50pm. I'll be late if I don't get something before the show starts.

I ran to the 7-11 and arrive there in about 1 minute from I stepped out of the house. Next stop, MCDonald to buy Twister Fries. Got home at 9.50 exactly. That's 7 minutes of duration from out of the house and back to the house with snacks in my hand... What a record for me man!!! huaks....

I need to go and get things done now... peace

No need to worry

2008-01-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

There are times when you're feeling down and comes to worst killing yourself in order to kill the thoughts. Every thing doesn't seems right. You don't even know what's going on and what exactly bothering you. You've done your homework, you did what you were told but something is unfinished and feeling frustrated not knowing what it is. It's driving you mad more than a psycho killing (i guess).

This may or may not be referring to anyone but for sure it is to ME. hahaha... o0hky, it is normal to feel such cuz that's what its called 'emotions'. It also has some relation to the hormones in our body. With this facts, it does affect the thoughts in our mind and most of it is negative. (so0 0bvious) Some of us would call it PMS which i'm not really sure if what I am talking right now is PMS. I have the feeling it is. Anywayz, whatever it is. I'm just saying this based on my own experience.

There are times when you feel like running away from every one in the world. If it were to be possible, you just feel like being 'I am Legend'. Come to face it, do you really think you want that? The phrase goes, 'whoever feels like being alone is actually feeling to be accompanied by'. Contradicting but it's true. However, being alone doesn't mean totally alone. But need a company that really understo0d and listen to the loneliness of this person in need. It may not be a person but just a company that make this person feels calm and focus. For example, doing yoga. It's you and your inner self plus the wind and the atmosphere. Are you getting what I'm trying to say? Well, it's o0hky if you don't. Just think about it, when you're angry and upset; what do you do to calm you down? Worst of all when you want to be alone what is amiss to that point of time? Simply you will understand what i'm trying to say and most of all yourself.

Another dangerous part is, if you let your mind play your part. When your mind play your part and controls your emotions and self, there's a certainty that you're facing depression or somesort. You tend to disgrace yourself and downgrade the worth of you. It is not very healthy to do so, especially when you're having the time of your life (for example, being a role model). This can cause even worse outcomes and result to even worsen the depression state. C'mon, you wouldn't want anyone to know you're a loser unless if you claim that you really are a loser.... I'm not saying that you have to be the winner of all the winners. I'm trying to say that you're the winner in you. No matter what other says that hurt you, no one could hurt you more than yourself. Do not let one spoilt brat pinned you down to the ground and make you suffer!!

Stand up! Cuz you have the power. Believe in yourself like I believe in you. B'cuz you believe in me to0. :D There's no need to worry cuz there's nothing to worry that could kill you... ;)

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T23:44:00.000+08:00

Helo0o0o 2008!! Huaks! New Year is here a new life is spread over. wehehehe... !! o0hky, people are busy 'partying' for the countdown, ME?! Alone at home, celebrating my own time watching tv... huaks!!! Don't get me wrong cuz i'm totally enjoying the perfect celebration.... huaks!!! Lo0k, life is something that you can't really predict but your heart knows..... so0, smile your way through and have a great Happy New Year!!!

I just had chicken for my dinner... YUCK!! Luckily it's NEW YEAR!!! It'll be an excuse for now... huaks... :D

Hari Raya Haji

2007-12-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

Finally, i'm completely 19 years old. I don't know if you other peeps count your age together with the Islamic Calendar, but i do. huaks! So0 yep i'm 19 years old... huaks...

This year, I went to my grandma's house and met up with my other crazy, insane and retarded cousins :P... huaks! We had fun and damn lots of farting competition there peeps... The usual routine we had, karaoke, driving around the town and SLEEP! Not to mention fo0d... huaks! Last time, we went into the coffee plantation but now, simply we stayed home and waste our time chatting. So0 obvious, we eat lots of times. Countless... I no longer can stay there... I'll be bored and the only thing that can entertain me was fo0d... don't ask me why but the atmosphere there really makes me hungry!! huaks...

Luckily it's Hari Raya Haji... It's not that easy for me to eat my grandma's n aunt's co0king, y'know.... huaks! The worst part, all three days we ate the same stuff... :P damn! Huaks!! 0oh well... That are the days in kampong for me... Guess that my vacation won't be at my grandma's house now... It will only be visits to my grandma's house... huaks... I dnt know if it any difference to u peeps... but it is to0 me... for me, vacation is more than 3 days... huaks... :P

I'm really pissed!!

2007-12-14T19:07:00.000+08:00

With the effect of SEA Games alot of tv shows have been delayed or postponed. I am really pissed to this because the information given are not being updated or appropriate. As I can remember on 30 November, there's an announcement written while Supernatural was on saying, "The next episode of Supernatural will be shown on 14 december." HUH!! TODAY IS 14 and I checked the newspaper, it's SURVIVOR AT 10!!! WTF!!!!

Call me crazy but seriously. It's not that it's showing everyday, it's once a week and damn right I am pissed!!! Not only that, the advertisement of the next episode was never shown quite frequent either.... I can count how many times it's being shown in a week. I only saw less than 10 times about it and i don't remember how many zillion times of other unimportant ad was being shown....

I am very upset... EXTREMELY UPSET!!

Comfortable

2007-12-07T17:58:00.000+08:00

It has been really awhile since I write something in here, right? I mean with the updating stuffy. Well, probably I've been quite busy lately... Busy with alot of stuff. I kind of have little time to update.

Let's start with, it's DECEMBER!!! Another year is going to end. New Year will be coming so0n and What will New Year have to offer for us? hmmm... Every year is a special year.

This year has been quite crazy. Lots of happening with tears, i believe. I can't remember exactly what or how it all started. However, I've learnt alot from all those times. Hard times are easy to remember than the go0d times that comes by along. I meant, hard times make all of us stronger than before. Go0d times are a celebrations of this strong will we have. In a way, as much as I hate going through the difficult journey is as much as I love going through it. It's contradictory but lo0k at it this way, at the end of the road, you learn something that gives you an additional knowlegde. If you know what i mean.

The topic is about comfortable. Currently, I'm throwing out or giving away my old outfits. Yep, the colourful and weird outfit. It's not that i'm throwing away my signature, it's just i want to get comfortable. The clothes aren't fitting and the fabric itches my skin. Some of the clothes, just didn't seems to reflect ME. Another thing, some po0r people have stolen my favourites that reflects me. :( I'm getting a new whole wardrobe. At least, i still have some clothes that says... 'I'm haimin!'.... at the moment. Besides, New Year's here. DUH!

Having uncomfortable life is just not me anymore... So0, yeah! This is me, people... I'm just ME... o0hky.... I gez, being comfotable is important...

Lazy

2007-12-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Blue... Monday Blue was suppose to be the day of laziness... For me, it's kind of today... Not exactly specific but yeah, tdy.. I'm freaking lazy... Fat lazy kid! huaks....

I don know what to update at the moment cuz all i can think of right now is nothing... It's like I'm totally brain-washed... Wait... What's my name? Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is MADness

2007-12-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

Damn! There has been madness around. Call me typical but seriously, I just feel like disappearing. Everything seems to be a bother to me. Maybe i'm on PMS(Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) but hey, c'mon. I need a life. Probably having PMS has the advantage after all, in somehow bitter way.

When you're having PMS, you'll be mad at almost every single little thing. You will go ballistic even when your pal drink from your cup which doesn't really matter for most of time. Witout any hesitation, you peeps will fight. If there's no water between you peeps and only fire... deep trouble!! However, you don't even know what's really going on except you just hate it and you don't like it. You fight for your right. Sometimes it can be a dead end if you're not careful.

Not to worry. PMS is a way to recognise your disastrous moments. When you feel the uneasiness at any point of time, do take a break and ask the 5 wives; who, why, what, when, where, and 1 husband; how, upon the event. With this questions answered, you will find it easy to deal with the problems that you're facing. Nevertheless, PMS is not an easy thing to overcome or deal with. PMS reveals your inner self relating to your emotions. Most of the time, it is uncontrollable. Having to recognise the symptons and 5 wives as well as 1 husband involve, it will give PMS a small thing to deal with.

Woman of the world has been known to the worst when they're having PMS. It is normally taken lightly by others. No doubt that 'she will get better and co0ls off when the time of the month ends' is taken lightly because it is true. However, it has taken as an advantage for someone to patronize these young lady who doesn't have the power to control the PMS thingy. This is another 'why' PMS should be taken on an account, so that we won't be a fo0l. Therefore, keep a lo0k out on your being.

These are just my opinion. Seriously, you wouldn't want to see yourself being MAD on PMS. hahah...

What makes it a deal?

2007-11-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Well, been awhile eh? Just for the record, alot of things been going on and some of it are quite complicated. Anywayz, let's get it off the ho0k and focus on the topic today...

What makes it a deal when someone comments about my being? It is because to change for the better and not making myself lo0k worser than a wendigo after 100 years of surviving in the wo0ds eating other humans flesh. When someone tells me about me, i get sources. Sometimes I tend to forget to whom i'm with. I mean, humans have emotions. Certain humans can take a certain amount of someone else's being while others are flexible about it. Knowing yourself with someone else is as important as knowing how many pain killers you take to ease the pain. At the same time, you know that other person's being and how dangerous normal drugs can be.

That's why it is a deal to me so that i know how much intake and outake i should make. I'm not bragging or making a big fuss out of a comment. I'm just analysing the facts. There's a saying that sounds something like this : You can't see what's in you through the mirror but through the eyes of others. What it meant is, you can't judge yourself to say that you are go0d or vice versa but others can. For example, a murderer says he's innocent but evidence from the detectives says otherwise. Knowing you also meant they see through the inner and outer side of you. With the things they see can actually determine the connection and relationship between you and that other person; be it your friends, colleagues even your own parents.

It is go0d to get comments be it negative or positive. Somehow it motivates your inner self and emotions. Also that depends on how you take a comment. It is normal and eventually high in percentage that humans take negative comments as disincentive or in other words, opposite of motivation which leads to corruptions and worsen the problem that sparks the fire. Therefore, welcomes the comments with definite delight (even if it's hurtful) and thanks the person who comments on you. In the back of house, search for facts (why, how, when, where, what..etc..), analyze and judge. At the end of the day, you know yourself better and through this process you will learn more about yourself. Re-create the negative comments and keep on going for the positive ones.

Make a comment a big deal in your list. Who knows you'll be the special person for that someone or everyone... (Anywayz, it's just my opinion..)

LINKIN PARK ROCKS!!

2007-11-14T11:58:00.000+08:00

Wuho0o0o! Yesterday they were in Singapore for their concert. I went there!!! Wepeee!! Been waiting for their concert for a loo0o0og time and they were here. It was my first time going to a concert and it's Linkin Park concert. My experience there wasn't as i expected it to be but it's damn freaking awesome. I'd say i expected it to be more peaceful or so0... To my bad expectation, I nearly died in the crowd... hahaha... Nevertheless, it's really was a great concert and I had fun...

They were late for an hour but they never re-gain that hour. It lasted for 1 and the half hour. It's o0hky, we had fun. I never go to clubbing b'cuz it's just so0 disgusting but i think going to concert is the most disgusting thing ever. You got the sweat of thousands human being all over you. Keep your mouth close for a safety unwanting taste in your mouth. But WAIT! It's a CONCERT!! What the HECK!! You just gotta do it!!! You can't keep your mouth close and you simply can't have ro0m for yourself... hahaha...

Linkin Park played their songs but not all. I was hoping they'll be playing some of their unreleased songs but unfortunately they didn't. Excused me cause i'm short there and I nearly fell under. The effects were co0l. I to0k some photos and it was fantastic. Shinoda even asked the back people not to push towards the front. Now, I knew he's going to say that. I was in the front rows and was suffocating. The fun part, they saw me! huaks... Worth of my $150. How sure I am..? They're the rockstar and they lo0k around.. Only they won't remember... huaks! :P

The ending was abit a shock cuz, it just ended... huaks... o0hky... I don't really know how to described it cause i, myself still in disbelief that i just went there. I remember in 2001 all the way to 2006, i was watching their concert videos and told myself that I'm going to be there one day. I'm going to be in the crowd enjoying myself. I had the chance when they were in Singapore to do concert in Padang but unfortunately money wasn't enough cause i exceeded spending it. YESTERDAY! I WAS IN THE CONCERT! Time flies by so0 quickly when i really having a damn freaking awesome fun!! huaks... o0h, i was with a friend of mine but when the concert starts, i don't even know where she went... o0h well, I had a damn really go0d fun! wuho0o0o... Here are some photos... -->>>

(me n my fwen)

(the crowds)

(the stage)

(the starting)

(the middle)

(some middle)

(somewhere in the middle)

(the end)

(some friends we met)

thats the end... Lots of pix but compz abit lagging.... (gosh i'm FAT!!)

Part of ME

2007-11-08T16:04:00.000+08:00

Call me selfish cause if you've noticed almost MOST of my post have this word "ME"... Doesn't it seems so0? o0h Well! What can I say, the blog is of me and about me... DUH! hahaha...

I never really thought about anything else but fantasy and sees everything like the 'Beautiful Mind' does.. Only that I'm the dumbest of all... I'm starting to think i belong to those poeple whom 'NORMAL' people called 'EMO'. They said that emoers are the most despise 'culture'. I don't even know why. Probably because they loves killing and hurting themselves. Well, smoking is one of the slowest way to kill a life. So0, tell me one thing.. are they part of it?o0hky, explain to me something, does having drugs to part of the emoers way to hurt/kill themselves?

These reasons are possible but what about the definition of 'Emotional' as for short is 'Emo'. They liked to be alone and cried because it hurts so0 much. They cry for the slightest emotions touched or hurt. It's the way they 'hurt' and 'release' the 'pain'. They screamed and run and go hywired. Call me confused but is it right to despise such people? I admit i do despise those gangster who just wouldn't stop fighting and think they're huge, big and kills. Why run when u cut off someone's hand? Why don't you be those psychotic people who kill and disguised themselves and sto0d tall infront of the court with their list offence sho0ting at their faces?

I don't even know why i should hate people? I don't even know why i should like people at the first place. Cause all i know and very aware of that they're fakers and pretenders. I won't say that I'm the perfect puppet made but it's human. I can say and see myself as angelic but they who sees me and talks a different thing. One thing, they're not go0d at talking straight to my face that I'm a biatch! Why? B'cus they have emotions of sympathy. Sympathising is the worst one of all. No one talks, no one tells and nothing be done.

What has this long listing connections with the title? Part of Me is as bad as the wicked step-mother in Cinderella, part of me is just Cinderella herself. I found this song from Linkin Park called Part of ME. The song is about (well part of me), confusion. 'Part of me won't go away, everyday remind me of how much i hate it' .. And when it comes to the chorus there's some slashes and bleeding which reminds me of emo... huaks... o0hky... Something really lame. But just think about it, that's what I thought it is... o0o well..

Invisible ME?

2007-11-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... Way out of it all, i know i did on a topic about Invisible Friends but today, it's just an Invisible ME! I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it or mention of it but I'm just going to write it anyway. Before that, today i had a date with my mom. Pretty go0d! We watched 'Game Plan' and it's damn freaking funny,sweet and sad. It's about a star whom didn't know he has a daughter for 8 years. She came by and the story went on. What touched me is that, he wasn't a man who would accept the fact his a father but surprisingly, he did. He participated in his daughter performance and ran (carrying her) to the hospital such that she was allergic to nuts and she ate it which nearly killed her... More to be awed for...

I bought a movie, 'The Invisible'. It's freaky... Lo0king down on you while you're dying. Carrying and touching your own skin and body. No one hears you nor see you. You're half dead!

I sto0d there lifelessly
A zombie, I'm seem
Lo0king down on me
My body and touching my skin

I'm still alive yet i lo0ked at me sleeping
Fear clouds over me
Tension of finding who could hear me
I have no time left, I'm not dead YET!

Am i a ghost or am i a spirit with unfinished business?
Help me! I screamed
Silence, responding
Where would I go to seek someone of me?

I laid low
Crying my eyes out
My heart scream
My mind's empty

Hey, mom and dad!
I wish you could hear me
But i've been missing
And you don't even know where I'm last seen

I touched and I feel
Closed my eyes and there's peace
Where am I here?
Why don't you tell me?

I l0oked in the mirror
I always see a girl with tears
Now, there's an empty slot
To be filled with particles

That's it i'm lost and missing
Who will that be to find me?
Find me alive
And surviving......

Today

2007-10-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

Honestly, today was supposed to be the day of 're-union' with my friends if not a chill-out with my cousin. However, I didn't want to go. I was just to0 lazy. I planned to sleep the day off when something happened before I woke up. It was disturbing but I kind of get used to it. Sometimes when things happened you might sense stuff that is quite unreasonsable and when it does happened you might felt regret or such. So0, i asked if my friend was free so0 that I could transfer songs over to my Mp3 and continue to watch a movie 'RockStar' at his laptop. Unfortunately, he wasn't free. I thought of calling up my cousin to meet up but felt quite bad for cancelling last minute and re-start the plan again. So0 I decided to just endured the day.

Then, another friend of mine left me a mis-called which i didn't heard it and another friend sent me a msg. For your information, my ringtone is only at volume 2.. hahaha... I replied to the message and he asked me if i was free. Now, I was supposedly going to coffee bean but I cancelled it yesterday w/o knowing what might happened the morning of today. Things happened for a reason and changes happened when things happened. It would be weird if i stayed home, however. So0, we went out. It was like a date .. haha.. :P

I was to0 lazy to go far. We picked Sembawang Eng Wah to watch a movie. I was hoping for Saw 4 but it wasn't on cinema yet. 'Unrest' was the movie we watched. As you all know, I like to give my opinion on movies. Here it goes, it's not a long movie however. It's a chop-chop movie which is not draggy. That's go0d but i will only rate it as 2 popcorns. It doesn't have the distinction. More like a summary of bits and pieces. There's no twisted climax. It's just a smo0th composition. The characters are trainee of becoming doctors or something. They studied the body of dead corpses which they hv the special name..something something... Well, from the magic word, dead corpse, doctors analise the bodies and the title itself is simply enough to know how the story goes. Those who disrespects this specific dead body will die until it put to rest. However, it was being said that their spirit/soul lives among the body. Once you enraged it, you'll be damned! So0 you're saying that every one of them will die? There will be no doctors or the specialist of solving a murder case? o0hky... this might confuses you... haha... I think the movie could be repaired if the 'teacher' is the one playing 'pranks' as he's the one who is being possessed or the 'ghost' itself.... Well, something to spice things up just like Halloween, I know what you did last summer or scream. It does get my go0sebumps up but i think the movie is not for entertainment. It was also said, the movie used REAL dead bodies... Now2, doens't the movie ends u with the moral of the story 'not to disrespect the dead'... You're using the dead bodies for a movie, entertainment?! Helo0o.... Enough said...

At first, it was only the two of us in the big hall. Reminds me of my alone experience watching Matrix at the same cinema. However, luckily there's 4 more came in. My date said it would feel weird if none came in to watch which is true. The funny part was when he freaked out when the commercial starts. I didn't expect that coming. o0psy! hahaha... As usual, my laughter filled the cinema. hahaha... After the movie, we went for chill at civic centre and talked about go0d old times. I can tell ya, he's one of the guys you wouldn't want to mess with. (Thanks for the Mcflurry to0, dude.) I can say it was an update for me after so0 long been gone. People knows me as 'a loner' back in secondary scho0l. I did pull it through by the end. haha.... It was really co0l that we shared the experiences and life going through for the years. I didn't know that we talked and talked and talked and the time goes on in just a second. One thing I know, similar stuff happened to us. Another thing, I end the day with the toilet break... c'mon, you gotta get the fluid out.. haha... Oh! Also, I don't know how many times 'handsome' came out of his mouth.. Gosh! Don't get me jealous, you're my date for the day... hahaha... Actually, it's really irritating.. haha... :P Well, I had a great time and so0 much fun than i might have today... Thanks for the date, dude! ;)

I bought LiME after so0 long. Of course, Linkin Park is on the cover if not, i wouldn't hv bought it. I read the interviews but the intro was not as impressive as i thought it would. However, it does mentioned about them being on a different side of genres or prospect of the music they make. It is clearly that majority supports their first album, Hybrid Theory more than the current ones. Those who missing the point here is absolutely closed minded. What I'm trying to say, are they who does the music or they who listen? Are they as go0d as Linkin Park or should I say worse and trying to say they're go0d? Yes, no objections that other bands or their type of listening is totally not Linkin Park but it's MUSIC. If you keep playing Mozart or Beethoven, wouldn't it bore you? Or would you go to an extent that you challenge yourself to the music that it would be difficult for you and competitively racing to the top? This album, Minutes to Midnight, as to my opinion, i repeat my opinion, proves that Linkin Park changes the formula as a challenge and giving new stuff to the fans. Flexibility is around. Music is flexible and is the world language. Mike has mentioned that it makes them think out of the box.

Music is to0 wide to define. Although I listen most to rock, metal etc... I also listen to other genres like classical, jazz, r&b only it's just not as much as i listen to rock. The only genre that I least would listen to is techno because it goes the same beats, same lyrics over and over again for like 5 minutes. I hate that. I can last listening to the same thing for about 2 minutes. Reggea is similar but at least i can still take it. The moral of the story, no matter how go0d you are, others can be better and never conclusioned those who've done further than you unless you're further than them.

That's about today...

Stay up!

2007-10-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

What up y'all?! How's it going? Well, as usual i'm just the same. Finally, my off day is here and even if I had to go back to work for fire drills, there isn't a reason to be sad. I'm a lil tired however but I got through the day just quite fun enough. The fire drill was tremendously HOT! I sweat alot!!!! SCDF were there and doubts were involved however. hahaha... If my dad were to be working as a fire fighter now, i'd say he'll be there. I would be glad if he were, we might done the exercise together... Co0l! hahaha...

After the fire drill, I didn't hesitate to get out of the island. All I want is to go home but hitting the track, I went for a movie alone. I watched "Halloween" and expected it would be the next sequence but it was actually how it started. Freaky! Before the show starts, commercial were featuring and to my surprise, Saw 4 is out today 26th October... WTH!! C'mon, you must be kidding me... Saw 3 has just passed abt a few months ago... Wo0w! That's fast... Well, i think by now i might get bored with the story but I'm not. Saw is another homicide movie that has alot of surprises. It has been known that it's a game. Dangerous game indeed. Most of them died playing the game. However, although you expect it to be hard but it seems to be really gruesome and harder than it might seem. At first, i thought Saw 3 would lack of it's 'distinction' but it did grabbed my interest and attention watching it. I wonder if Saw 4 can give me the same star.

Back to Halloween. Michael Myers starts to be a normal kid. He has a two sisters elder and younger one. A &%#$ father and a mother who is an exotic dancer. You can imagine how life is for him. Fortunate enough, his mother loves him really much. To0k care of him and even gave him comfort when the father starts to disgrace his dignity of a being. Like any other troubled mind kid, you know he has some psychology problems. Nevertheless, it has been eating him inside. The atmosphere has taken him far enough to kill w/o heart. On Halloween night, he killed his father, his elder sister and her boyfriend. He never hurt his younger sister. His mother came back home to know such news. Heartbreaking though.

In the psychology centre for murderers or whatever it is called, Mike didn't know what he has done wrong. He was just as innocent as any other child. He can't remember what he did. Day after day, he lives in the ro0m making mask. "...so that I hide my ugliness..." (Which I want! hahaha) was the reason he told his mom. "No one notices me" was another line from him which makes me wonder. As another passing day, he began to lose control of himself and demanded to be sent home. He starts to hold himself inside and in his eyes, there's only misery and hatred. He killed nurse and his mother was terrified. She was afraid of Mike. She killed herself watching video of Mike and his younger sister.

For fifteen years, he never spoke a word and only lives in his ro0m making mask. He became so0 big and powerful(strength). He escaped to find his sister. He wanted his sister to acknowledge him. To give the love that has been lost. The understanding of being lonely. Unfortunately, as terrified as she is a teenage girl. She didn't respond and angered him. Supposedly they would hv died together but she pulled the trigger to his head. To our understanding, that's not the end.

It wasn't as gruesome as Saw but at least i did enjoyed it. I might watched Saw 4 if it were in the cinema at Vivo. Anywayz, I need to save up. I went home and sleep for awhile and spending my time relax. I'm to0 lazy to go out. hahaha... That's all for the stay up section...

Ocean

2007-10-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

I'm using Gold for the font. Any reason to support? Well, there is... Ever watched the Ocean's Eleven all the way to Thirteen...? Now, that's the reason why.... I just watched the third movie of the Ocean's and it may have slipped away some interest in me but the awenez of it is still there.

Personal Opinion I prefer Ocean's Eleven and Twelve for their extreme surprises at the end of the day. In the percentage order... I think Eleven has 70%, Twelve has 50% and Thirteen has dropped to 30% of surprises in my taste. Nevertheless, it is NOT easy to crack a code when everything that people know you would do is being examined and being secured. The intelligence used here is still indeed fresh. Alot of things, facts that WE can learn from it. For most, it's not gambling or cheat neither stealing.

What we can learn -> The strategy, skills and back up plan! A back up plan is the most important thing in anything and everything. Let say, if your co0k is suck and you have less than an hour to co0k for your mother in-law, back up plan would be call up the delivery guy. However, being Vigilant is also as important such that it would get you to the distinction of a situation. Intelligence of knowing it all as well as mix and match the team qualities... You will score A's!

'Ocean' is wide... Lo0ks simple, easy as well as peace... Underneath it all... Only you can answer it because it's your ocean...

Linkin Park

2007-10-20T14:45:00.000+08:00

I knwo i've used deep pink for the previous, previous post. Anywayz, the colour seems to be vibrant and easy to catch attention.

Well, Linkin Park is coming to town on 13th Nov 2007, Tuesday at Indo0r Stadium. Wuh0o0o... They're currently touring around the world plus asia. Isn't that great?! hmm...

One incident happened while they're performing in Melbourne, Australia on 15th October 2007. Chester broke his wrist! Nevertheless, that doesn't stop him from performing throughout the tour... Way the go Chester! You're the man!! Wuho0o0... Live the Spirit up high above, y'all!!!

You can catch the full report on what happened from their webby --> www.LinkinPark.com

Smileyz

2007-10-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

When I lo0k in the mirror, I see me. Asked myself what I don't see and yet what have I seen? Lo0king straight into my eyes, I saw. The feeling in me that creeps out, is indescribable. They saw, they talk and they silence. Confusion that built increased the curiosity and cruelty at some point. It's funny to know everything that might have been unknown yet has been known. It contradicts alot of stuff.

Nevertheless, it opened up my eyes to the beauty of the ugliness. I smile to the beauty of what it brings from the ugliness of somethings. Weird, unique... What it is... is all stand out by itself. I know and the rest might have known... Knowing myself is not easy for someone to know me or vice versa. It's the willingness and believe in each one of us. I never said it was ever easy to understand somethings that complicates alot of stuff. However, it would be easier if we try and gives some effort out.

My life's like that... :D

Lama2

2007-10-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since I wrote/type something here. Nothing much of an updates. Anywayz, life's been busy and to0 caught up with work. Next month would be another busy month for me. November is here and so0n January 2008 will be arriving... wuho0o!!... Another year to lo0k forward to0... Except of course, the B'day counts... huaks.... Young at heart still... Weheehehe....

I have lots to say but at the meantime, I'm quite busy and this very moment I'm sick! Not enough rest I guess... haha... Well, until the time is near... I'll update as long as I can... Wuho0o... O0hky... Peace

Evil

2007-10-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

Kinn... hahaha... Aku nk update pon ada susah lah... Masa aku ni pon ko tau lah... Dah kena tarik... o0hky2... ni aku nk update something... enjoy reading ye...

Too many dark clouds seem to be over my head. I do not care what you people think of me because I absolutely have nothing to be bothered about. I am not the go0d person around here. I'm the freak that cursed and people don't like to be near me because I talk crap. I scare them away with my hideous lo0k. Now, whatever you peeps wanna sho0t or think... Just go ahead because i care shit.

I've tried not to brag about stuff and such because I don't want it to be obvious. But sadly, it has. Part of it, i don't pretend. I don't like to fake things that has happened. I'm sorry that I can be really a pain in the huge S. One person has br0ke into a ro0m that has been closed, locked and been secured all this time. First of all, Congratulations for opening the ro0m of Fire.

You do know who you are. Let me tell you something, you can go making up story of who you referred to but I won't believe in any words you said. You can fo0l the rest but I won't be fo0led by you anymore. Like what I've said, there's nothing that I can trust nowadays. If you want to know why i'm so0 cold and black.. It's all depends on you. Maybe I should clarify something, it has nothing to do with sharing your happinez but something more crystal clear... (I will clear the loan, so0n)

If you may, stop giving me comment and I will be extremely glad if you leave me alone. I DON'T WANT to have any connection with you anymore. Your existence has never occurred to me.

~To0 bad it has to end this way...

Selamat Hari Raya

2007-10-12T13:18:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfirti...

What i've done.....

2007-10-03T20:11:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you people knows what comes to mind just by reading the title of this post. Yep, BINGO! Linkin Park. Yes... Indeed... But i'm not talking about Linkin Park for this moment and probably you might have guessed it. Let's just cut to the chase.

In years i've been living. Lots has been going on. People come and people go. Some they're just gone.. and for some they chose to go. Impressive, i can tell. The worst I ever met would be those who just stick around and even when they're not welcomed. Precisely, the enemy.

Enemies are the worst people we should have a relationship with. For once, it's never pretty to have an enemy. However, we are human beings. It's natural to have enemies around us. By which we might have create it knowingly or just unknowingly. Either way, they're still the enemy to us.

To lo0k myself in the mirror gave me courage to the reality. Not that I'm saying, i'm not satisfied with what I have but because it shows me who I am and what i've done. Mirrors can predict what we are through our minds. With this it gives me faith and hope. Reflecting myself and what i've done through the mirror is not simple.

You have to lo0k distinctive as well as very concious with the surrounding and what you see. Questions will start to roll in your mind and that's when you start to find answers with flashes from the past visible right before you. There's no surprises with what you might turn into. Sometimes, Hulk... Sometimes, a cry baby and sometimes, you're a fairy god-mother. Whicheverr you may feel, with that effects you have succeeded.

Through this you will find answer to what caused an enemy to be your enemy. Adapting to that can be impossible. Nevertheless, with every way there's always a turn. Which turn? It is your choice to cho0se. Just like the life you chose for yourself.

For me, having an enemy is not alien. We're just kids who does not agree to each other and tend to hurt one another. That, i can say was the past. Now... It might sound funny because we grow up to be more matured and
more considerate with others. However so0, it would not be funny if the enemy's trying to be funny.

One, I may go bizzarre and the next I may co0l off. I will NEVER gaurantee any openness of trust. You should never, never trust anyone especially your enemy. Now, I've done quite alot nowadays. Of which includes reflections and re-newing oneself. It's pretty amazing to know more of it. Sometimes, you have to lo0k...

Thank you

2007-09-30T00:35:00.000+08:00

Thank you for inviting me to dinner. I really appreciate it although I didn't have so0 much fun. However, thanks again. Sorry for the inconvenience anyway. It's just ME that I jst show... Those who knows me best, would know...

I also would like to take another opportunity to thank those who calms me down. Nevertheless, I had enough and I shall stop here. People change and try to blend in. No denying it... Many2 thank you... Muacks..

It ends here

2007-09-29T23:51:00.000+08:00

Once you lie and backstabbed
You were never once I know
Sounds stupid it may seem
But what hurts most, is unseen

Someone told me and made it clear
I am ME and i've made my decision
Not once, not a chance
The circle has been broken

Once I've said I had it
It means i'm through
I won't fake it
Cuz I'm not a pretender like you

I'll end it here and now
Hope you're happy with what you've done
It's not a misunderstanding
It's a straight forward proven thing...

Peace

2007-09-28T17:28:00.000+08:00

Lo0k at it and tell me something....

Are you happy now?

2007-09-28T15:44:00.000+08:00

Could you lo0k me in the eyes... N tell me that you're happy now... o0o0o0o... would you tell it to my face that half has been erased are you happy now...

This song is playing in my head. I sang it to myself, lo0king in the mirror. For a minute, I would say that i am not happy... Why? I am fat now... Fatter than I was. I got pimples... Lots of it... Monster... Worst than Ugly Betty... But, when I think about the reason why... I am so0 much more happier although at some point it does make me want to have that old body... But b'cuz of that old body... It destroys me... So0 what I'm trying to say, beauty is the most dangerous weapon someone could own. I am happy just the way I am now...

It's not through the cover to be loved. It's the content. Sometimes a go0d-lo0k bo0k with an awesome cover has a very boring, less educative content. I've read a bo0k,"London Vampire Panic"... Seems interesting... But when I read it... It has my attention for only a second... The content 'at first' is co0l but getting bored the next.. However, it would make it even better if it were to be acted... At least, I understand more of it... hahaha...

This also reminds me of 'Interview with the Vampire'. After the death of his wife and his child at childbirth, Louis has longed for death. There weren't any means to live. It would take anyone. The whore beside him, the pimp that follows but a vampire accepted it. He became a vampire ever since.. The night that follows... Living as a vampire for 200 years... How would it be like to survive?

He has become a vampire... Dead like a corpse. However, alive as a creature called vampire. 'Are you happy now, Louis?'... I'm sure you're not. It's devastating to live in a world where you can be no fear or threat to the world. Threat to yourself lo0king at the world. Even when you're a vampire, your heart is a human. Survived in the darkness indeed... You wished someone would kill you now....

Spacious

2007-09-28T13:44:00.000+08:00

I never realise what go0d has brought me to0. Being cold doesn't really mean indifferent. Sometimes being cold is being aware of own's feelings. Cruelty attracted to those who are weak and inviting. Potentially trusted just anyone. Anyone that presume 'right'. I am not afraid to admit that was me. However, things that tumbles, crashed and burnt reveals the truth. The truth always hurt and the truth is not what you think it may seems. Life is a magnificent contrary ground. When you said something, it meant another connotation.

The world to some people may seems so0 small but little things can be taken as a very huge thing. It is not fo0lish but just like an art piece. A dot painted in the middle of a wide spread canvas can mean a lot to someone (may and may not be of the artist himself). A word does not have one meaning, it changes through the sentences used. It's how you use and say it. With a little spice could make a soup delicious.

An inch of an open do0r gives in fresh air through the ro0m. Close your eyes and listen to the tune. The tune will bring you wherever you desire. Don't be surprise if you open your eyes and found yourself in a very dramatic scene. It's never always beautiful. Nevertheless, beauty stands in the scene. Spacious, my people... Spacious...

I don't need impressi0n

2007-09-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

People, I don't need impression for you all to like me. I am no angel nor go0d for people to smile about. I don't know what you people think of me but THAT'S JUST ME! Lo0k, why would I lie about myself? For you peeps to like me even better? Even when I said, life is a movie but I ain't an actress that hides behind a facade for the entertainment of the world.

I want people to know me as who i am. Know me bad, know me go0d. Don't judge me before you knowing me. There are stories around, flying from one end to the other end. Perhaps, my stories have gone all the way to the other part of the world. Humans always want to think their go0d. Who wants to be the villain anyway? However, it's not for me to judge myself and tell you peeps that I am on the go0d side or the bad side. I'm just telling you there ain't any go0d nor bad unless you judge either one.

In this world, you can trust no one. Not even your soulmate. All you can trust is yourself. Why am I being so0 cold? Well, it's because the unfaithful humans that lingers or existed in the face of my world. Neither would I tell you peeps that they are the bad people in your story. They are in my story that they are bad. Anywayz, if you lo0k at the world with the bigger perspective you'll know what I mean.

Black and darkness has been my colour and place respectively. Even if I longed for the light, it will always turned dark again. Just like the day turns to night. Believe me not but that's how I lo0k at things in my position. Neither do I deny that my life has been colourful. Alot of people may judge me that I do not have life. My life is plain. The same routine every day. Well, let me define my life. I never live in another yesterday, however so0, yesterday came in today.

I'm sure no one would understand that. Read it over and over again and you will know what I mean. The world is round people.

With this opportunity, I would like to thank those people who've been with me a couple of years ago and has been part of my life. Also, I would like to thank to those people who simply playing fake. (It spice up my life.) People who keeps secret and people who publicize secrets can be judge by their action not by their lo0ks. Whatever they say, I will not tolerate it. Call me childish and impatient... I have my own limit. I'm a human being to0. Giving in is totally out of my list if i've been giving in and being taken advantage of for years and years i've lived. I don't care if I lost love. Cause the only love that I cared about now is myself. Call me selfish... I don't even care...

It's with your action that speaks of you no matter what you say..."

Hatred

2007-09-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

What is hatred? In the dictionary it says, a feeling of intesnse dislike, anger, hostility, or animosity. hmm... Can someone lost love because it's covered with these 'hatred' in him/her? Well, I have no definite answer to that but there is a possibility to it. In fact, it can be a very high possibility.

Logically, how does hatred comes about? It won't make someone cry if there isn't a reason. Let say, someone cries either when they're feeling sad or happy. Even disappointed and betrayed can make someone cry. When someone cry, they're feeling frustrated and intense feeling of anger, which is hatred are being formed. Bit by bit, it grew and to0k over the love of oneself. That's when someone lost their love and only hatred they feel.

Hatred is a very dangerous behaviour for someone to own. Hatred = murder. Someone who is under stress can also say they're having hatred in their finger tips which can lead to murder. Ever heard about depression that caused by hatred which lead to murder?

These people who could not balance the hatred and love in their life would definitely had a wrong turn. You couldn't be possibly be as angelic as the prophet. You couldn't be as devilish as the Devils themselves. When you're to0 go0d, you are being taken advantage of. When you're to0 bad, you take advantage instead.

When someone possesses hatred in their life, they tend to kill. To nearest person they can kill is "THEMSELVES". This action is called,'commit suicide'. There are alot of teenagers that underwent these 'growth' of life. They're under pressure and to0 stress about their life. They began to hate and dissatisfied with their life. They want to end it all. End it right there! It's just to end everything. Some of them succeeded and some of them failed.

One thing they forgotten is themselves. One thing possible is they got mixed up. They HATE themselves instead of hating the 'world'. That's the reason why they want to kill themselves. They don't love themselves. It's easy for them to kill themselves anyway.

Stupid people, fo0lish minds. They use drug, slashed their wrist, jump off a building and even drown themselves drunken. Many,many ways to kill themselves. Why does these people don't love themselves? Classic one, swallowed sleeping pills. No sleeping pills? Panadols! Panadols not enough... Drink with coke.. 0oh, mixed with other medication... Lo0k, if you really want to kill yourself.. Jump off a building, 12 storey high... Why suffer when you tried to end your sufferings?C'mon people.. You do know what's the punishment for killing yourself. It's HELL...

Hatred may do alot of things but Love? Love is even greater. Love to HIM is greater. (BTW,I'm not talking about the metal band) Love.. Love is complicated. Love doesn't mean happy nor sad but Love is a mixture of happiness and sadness and joy and alot feeling that is indescribable. That "Love", saves you from whatever hatred you have. Btw, I'm not talking about lovers.

In reality, there is no such thing as fairy tale love. However, in general, it's all started with you. Your life begins because of you and the atmosphere you breathe in. Life starts with you.. To0 that I would, Love yourself before you love others. Give love to yourself before you give others love. Lo0k in the mirror to find yourself before you lo0k at others.

Let me share something with you, I love myself... :D

The Candy Me?

2007-09-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

He was there but he didn't see me
I'm to0 short for him to notice
He ate my guts and said i'm to0 sweet
To0 sweet of a candy me

I smiled and laughed
Cried in tears i end up
Mind crunched
Heart torn apart

Waterfalls it seems
River flowing in
Drowned in my own stream
Where has the sweet gone my candy me?

The chocolate store's in front of him
Reminded the sweetness of me
Came through the do0r
And think of one thing that I adore

Knocking on my do0r
Holding a bouquet of flowers
Pass me a box
Full of sweets and chocolates

There it was a smile shines through
Sweetness of morning, pleasantly content feeling
I am glad he's here reminded by my sweet lo0king
o0h well, what can i say? The Candy Me?

To0 to0 bad

2007-09-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

To0 bad so0 sad
Telling me stuff that you totally don't know
Ask yourself why those words came out
Aks yourself why you became such

I never said that I was a go0dy-two-shoe
I never said that I am
All I see was darkness
All I see was weakness

Cry on my shoulder
You wet my shirt
Damn! You've destroyed it
I would smile but not anymore

So0 long ago, you've gone away
I can't believe why i kept searching
Didn't know they all would be the same
Gosh! How upsetting, I am such a fo0l

Have me only in your memory
Cause I won't be here, not even for one minute
Won't be here to create more of those smiley
It's ashamed that I did

Carto0ns make me smile
They opened up my eyes more than I think it could
People change and people do forget
I can't believe it, i don't mean to brag

~Lame~

2007-09-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

No point you came to me
Cuz, like you
I won't say a thing
Thanks for asking

To0 bad that you missed out the little stuff
When the big stuff are not as important as it may seems
Don't worry, it's just me
You have a life and you deserved it

I don't mean to brag
But I said it all out
Enough is enough
It's burning

Ask to know
Well, enough of asking now
Cuz i always got lies
Private and confidential

No point of asking nor let it out
There's twist and turns
Like the road you're driving
And the park you're walking

The answer is within you
My mouth is sealed

Linkin Park

2007-09-23T17:50:00.000+08:00

I'm so0 totally gonna go! Linkin Park is coming to Singapore!!! I'm old enough to go and Thank you!! However, I am alone.. Anyone wanna join me to watch them live? Ring me up... ;)

Invisible friends

2007-09-23T00:49:00.000+08:00

She said she'll stand by her friends. She said no matter what, friends are more important to her. She said we're bestfriends, sisters, buddies. She cried on my shoulders, with tears wetting my cardigan. She called me up when she's down cause she feels lonely. She tried to do stupid stuff but failed so0. Then, she realised that there are others care for her. Time goes on, she realised that someone else is better worth to be her bestfren. Drifting apart, i was being laid away. Her loneliness covered and now she's happy. How sad it is, she kept her happiness to herself. 0oh wait... she left me unknown and I am left with no information. Cast away, I'd always say....

Never say promises when you don't even know how to keep it. Your innocent face, your blur sotong crap, your go around the bushes are simply plain stupid and sympathyz. Don't say words that you will go against it. Ask yourself why i'm reacting such a way. Yeah, you have your own life... Yeah you control your life... Plain stupid if you just take friends for granted.

People of the world, tell me the definition of 'Best Friends"... They say Best Friends last forever... I don't see it lasted though... I see Best Friends are more of Invisible Friends...

My part of view, Best Friends are those you have temporarily until you find True Friends or 'Love'... I am thankful that i have true friends who considered me as another true friend. True friend shares...True friend does not keep secrets from each other... Some secrets are meant to be secret... It's no longer secrets when other knows but your own true friend don't know... That's not true friend, that's only best friend.... (no peeps... That's sad, ya know!...)

To0 bad, i'm just another invisible friend. I'm glad that someone found the happiness... Thanks for not sharing. I don't even want to know and yeah, you make me realise something... We can trust NO ONE! Only those who encountered the same fate as me, would understand.

I'm not a go0d friend indeed... I'm no angel, nor pure. I'm bad as the wolf. I'm a backstabber and a hypocrite. So0, people stay away from me.

Movie

2007-09-21T21:23:00.000+08:00

Have you watched the movie 'Joe Dirt'? Well, I watched it yesterday night and I didn't know it could be silly and life-learning. This guy was born to be an abnormal kid. Not in a way that is disabled or so0 just plain stupid or plain silly. haha... His parents seems to left him at a carnival when he was just eight years old. They make his life through until he was over 30++ in search of their parents. Cut short , through his years, he has gone through alot of misfortune and simply hated by everyone. However, his spirit was high and positive mind of his, make his way through life. He dares to dream. He even to0k any chances to be 'there'. His goal was to search for his parents who left him 15 years ago. No matter what he go through, he did stepped over the huddles even if he falls on it. In the end, he did managed to be at the finish line.

The movie isn't a silly, comedy that you learn one thing but through the movie... You learn ALOT! Some of the words he said were Never put a 'No' in your heart. I believe that those who wants to be somebody will be somebody if that person really want to be that somebody. As long as I'm go0d to people, g0od will come to me... etc ... If you understand these line, you do know what I mean. So, if you wanna know more about Joe Dirt, please watch it... Anywayz, it does remind me of 'My name is Earl... hahhaa

That is one of the movie that I watched to recommend. However, someone else recommended me a Hindi Movie called,'Don'... Shah Rukh Khan is the main actor and I simply rejected the movie when i asked further questions what it's about. My friend told me it's an action movie. hahaha... I watched the starting of Dho0m an acti0n movie to0 and it wasn't what I expected. When my friend told me about Don... I simply didn't hv any interest. Nevertheless, my bro lend the disc from his friend. I was bored so0 I watched it. To0 bad, the first disc was missing. I start from disc two.

Indeed, I was awed by it. To0 engrossed with it. I enjoyed watching it. It isn't what I thought it'll be. I'd say it's up to my standard. The plot, the ending, the climax... wo0w!!! Not exactly the typical Hindi action movie i've watched. The first, Hindi action movie that I like and enjoying watching it. I wonder if there's Don 2? hahaha... Anywayz, Hindi movies are mostly known as smo0th, full of emotions and family relation. At least, Don has the breakthrough of the concept... ;)

Enough about it... Go on an watched it.... o0hky, the next one... I wanna talk about Shrek 3... Yep2.. I just watched it. Shrek is a very enjoyable movie. Fairy Tales that have a twist plot. Villain versus the go0d guys... But to thik of it... Go0d guys can be the Villain when the Villain can be the go0d guys... From Shrek to Shrek 3... They haven't lost the touch of the quality and excitement. Sometimes movies with sequence might lo0se it's quality. Especially the carto0ns... Like for example, Little Mermaid sequence and Cinderella sequence... They are really damn bored! I prefer the to watch only the first of it. Don't mind me saying... This is just my opinion. Anywayz, I like watching them but watching the sequence of those movie simply doesn't catch my attention. I cannot watch it continuously except for the first. Get what i mean??

That's about it...

Men nowadays

2007-09-21T17:55:00.000+08:00

What are men nowadays? Men nowadays are fraudulent creatures! They came into your life as if they are the answer to your prayers. The light of all your darkness misery. The facts, they are the pitch black darkness that destroys you entirely. They go knocking on your do0r and smile which makes you melt. You closed the do0r but the knocking keeps on going. You started to think that they worth to live for and let them in. It's so0 sad... They simply walk out that do0r instantly when you just want them to stay. Living you lifelessly and without any concern of your state of mind. The best thing, they knocked on another beautiful do0r in the neighbourho0d.

I can never trust a men for my life. They will lie with every little bit of you asking their honesty. They gave you 10 000 promises but proves to you more than 10 000 excuses. Men are capable to act such drastic drama that will make you fall into their trap. They will cast a spell on you and hypnotise you to do whatever they ask you to do. Men are never loyal. One is never enough. Tend to ask for more. Greedy creature indeed. Not to mention, beauty, nice body and sex-E.. are all they l0ok for.

Another thing men nowadays. They have the worst ego compares to the normal ego that women has. They never accept changes. Sees you as what you are and not who you are. The status of 'What you are' means if you're a whore, you're a whore! They also tend to have this 'leadership' quality that tells you what to do and if you don't do, you'll get punish?! Yeah, whatever!!! Additionally, they will try to make you what they want you to be, because being what you are is just not their standard. Change you out of your own will, is so0 forbidden in the women's principle of law.

When they say,' I love you'... That means, 'Let's go into the hotel ro0m'! Stupid women!!! C'mon... Love? What is love? I can't believe that 'Love' existed. They say, 'love is complicated, beautiful and outrageous'? Those are lies. Lo0k around, out of 10, how many die because of broken love? '9'! You may think the 0ne is the lucky one but they die being in love. For example, accident on the wedding day... That's totally 'the end' of their love...

Happy ending? There will never be a happy ending. It's all in tears... Ever listen to Marilyn Manson, 'They said hell's not hot'? One of the line simply caught my attention,' relationships are just another girl's left in tears' . Now, what does that means? Men are just playing around with heart of the women. Even the song thinks so0 to0...

You can never predict a man's behaviour. Even if you had been together more than 5 years. They simply hold you close to their heart with one hand but another to another woman's hand. Fling? What happen? Why? To lo0k over at the woman's side. They totally love the man. Give their heart and home to live in but what does the man do? Live the house and go into another house?! That's what men most likely to do.

For those who's madly in love, just be careful. You may not know what they do and lie about it. Only HE knows. Trust is never a word to use. It's the doing. It's the proving. However, don't take my words seriously because this is Mine. My view about men nowadays. I wish I was born in a fairy tale. oh please! Let me be Princess Fiona or Princess Ariel to taste the love. o0h well, to0 bad... Men nowadays are just fraudulent. Don't trust men! Trust your guts...

shitty...

2007-09-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

People drink, smoke, weed.. etc... What's my cure? Music and fo0d. Well, just lo0k at me... ! I'm fat... Wait!... Fatter than I was!! Damn! I wonder what makes me such... Let me see... Time wasted... Yikes... To0 much on my mind... To0 much to0 think... To0 much... to0 much... and to0 mch of munching and eating!... Please stop!!

Liar

2007-09-19T00:22:00.000+08:00

You said you'd tell me everything
But you lied and go around the bushes, hiding
I'm so0 disappointed and laid there in silence
So0 sad that I'm just another worst companion

You smiled to me and say it was nothing
You played my mind when the answer was there already
I hate it when you just say but never proves
What's a mouth? What's an action got to do?

Liar you are, liar you are
I'm sorry but I can't trust you no more
I'm at fault indeed i am
But still, i can't see why you eat up all you've said and done

Poem?

2007-09-14T07:13:00.000+08:00

Sun awaken
Brighten up the city
Even when my heart is broken
Still i keep on living

Missing that someone
It has always been
Have been done
Yet again,can do nothing

He's close, She's close, They're close, We're close
Yet I am far apart

Not to worry, I don't brag
Even if i do, it would be to myself
Alone has been my nature
Not to worry, I won't eat like a vulture

For a smile would make my day
A brighter shine is all it takes to kill my disaster
Misery may seems obvious
Cherish is all miraculous

The sweet turns to sour
But the smile is still there
Sour is thrown
Here comes pleasant taste for the throne

Imagination is part of planning
It is also a creation of the mind
To be or not to be
May the spell not be bind

Brigde to Tarabithia

2007-09-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

Is it me or is it natural that females tend to have creative imagination? Or is it influences by the atmospheres and environment that a person grew up in? An open mind to create a distinctive features of imagination! In other word, Fantasy.

Have you ever wonder how a play comes about? In a movie or a play, you know what will happen next. You can easily predict the next scene somehow. You know the role of every character whether they're bad or go0d. You even know the distinctive factors to make a movie an excellence.

Turn the table around and lo0k up on YOU. You are a character of your own movie. It would be a thrilling movie or play, I suppose. Why? In real life, you do not know your own role. You can be the go0d guy and something happened, you transform into the villain. Then, a miracle happens you changed and became the go0d guy that everyone praised. It is unpredictable! Amazing and exciting, indeed.

However, have you ever w0onder what is your fixed role in the movie or play? What is your own specific role? What does people think of you? What role do they sees you? Be mindful! Real life means different people has their own personalities and character. In addision, people has different views of a person. Nevertheless, only you knows who you are better than others, for this part of topic. There's a saying that goes, ' What we are, never change. Who we are, never stops changing.'

Bridge to Tarabithia is a go0d movie for me and I believe for the rest of you who is a fan of Lord of the Rings as well as Harry Potter. The differences is that, this movie is way more logic than of those two movies. I mean, it's not a total fantasy entertainment.

Watching the movie reminds me of my own childho0d. Imagine... no... Do you remember in those days when you were just a little girl or boy trying to save the world from evil? For boys, you would like to save the princess from the witch... Whoever the princess was in those olden days... For me, I save the people from the invasion of the evil darkness... Fighting up and down the hill, across river and flew over the sky. Automatic vehicles. Luxury services. Just name it.... Everything and anything...

It triggers a question to myself, "What have I become?" Followed by "why and how?"... It's sad to think about it. It has been so0 long gone and i never know when it starts to fade and end. Or is it lost somewhere in me? Or it is being hidden behind all the things that is 'reality'? I shed tears after watching the movie. The movie has not only touched my soul but it has freed...

To find out more why it is so0 go0d... You should watch it!!

Freedom Writers

2007-09-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

I was bored! I should have gone out watching Hairspray but instead, had a little time jolt off some things. It makes me feel abit sad somehow. o0h well, at least I did see him for a while though. Before get to the conclusion, it's Haizel. A little time could mean something. Anywayz, it ended pretty quick.

However, I was really bored indeed. It was early yet to0 late for me to go to the cinema to watch Hairspray. So0, i thought that I could just have my time resting. I was just having a little time of my own when I get off my ass and head to the shop and get some stuff. I browse around the VCD store. Attractive titles seem to get my attention. I caught an eye to the "Blo0d and Chocolate" as well as "Bridge to Terabithia". I went to the cashier to make the payment. Something else caught my eyes; "Freedom Writers". I remember 'The Ellen Show'. It featured the story. It's an inspiration story about a real life event. I was interested when i watched the featuring of it. However, when it was out in Singapore... I kind of get it slipped. I didn't know it was already in the cinema. Without any hesitation, i bought the three VCDs. Cost me alot actually.

At first I watched Blo0d and Chocolate. It would be interesting if i were to concentrate on it. I had something else to do with the computer and stuff. Afterwards, i decided to watch 'Freedom Writers.'

It's about a first timer teacher who was hired in an 'overturned' scho0l. It was devastating for an unexperienced teacher to be teaching a class that has no absolute discipline and indeed in a very disturbing neighbourho0d. Imagine a student holding a gun and for a teacher, that would be very insecure and you are responsible of these kids. Suspected ideal class was the students to be paying attention. When she got into the 'real event', it shocked her and I believe part of it was fear she feels.

If i were to tell you the whole thing, it would totally destroy the motive of me writing it here. You should watched it. While i was watching it, alot of emotions came to me. I cried, angst and FEAR of the world. Not to mention, disbelief. What i've learnt from it was; 'From this moment on,every voice that told you that you can't, is silence. Every reason that tells you things will never change, disappears. The person you were before this moment, that person's turn is over. Now it's your turn!' ... It is a very powerful line. And so0, do believe in me and watched the movie dude! Get it from me for a free rent... hahaha...

It wasn't how I'd feel. Anywayz, it does make me feel much better. Life?! What can you expect from life?

A little light, shines through...

Pressure

2007-09-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

The pressure is getting closer
Pushing me off the cliff
I can't let it be, now can i?
I force myself with all my strength to push it back
But I can't! I can't! I can't!

I'm falling down...
Hitting the ground hard
Bleeding.. I loss blo0d
I'm darined... Exhausted
Facing the PRESSURE...

The strom came to wash away the pain
Instead it drowned me in sea
I can't breathe and down, down, down I go
I sink to the bottom

I'm falling down...
Heavy on my heart
It hurts and it burst
It's exploded
Under the PRESSURE!!

Aiyahz

2007-09-07T00:36:00.000+08:00

It's damped and heavy on the weight. A burden to everyone. Just when everything seems to fall into place. It breaks everything. Ended up in a road that force a choice. A choice that is unwantedly. If a life is of a choice, why does there always be guilt and unsatisfaction?

Cluelezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nasty

2007-09-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

Nasty, nasty, nasty fo0d. I've grown alot bigger than I used to0. Gosh! I've stretched my skin beyond it's limit. With fo0ds that are nastily delicious for the eyes to lo0k at and the tongue to taste. Yummy! Yum yum! But to lo0k at the outcome in the mirror... Biggy! Dum Dum!

It has never really been a bad S. Hey, who can resist fo0d. o0hky, yeah.. I got to have strong will.!!hmm...

The week has been cold to me. Colder is the one standing. Soft it was and harden by the cement of memories. Stain stays and can't be washed away. It's ugly to lo0k at but keep your eyes open to the big picture and there you have it, a wonderful creativeness of an art piece. It may not lo0k obvious but if you concentrate on it, it can be "disturbing". It's glo0my and dark, sad and low. A little shine of light has yet to show but can a light pass through the wall of coldness terror.

o0h well, time has past on and another week to lo0k up for. Waiting to end. It seems like forever. A life has gone and no one knew why? You can't eventually foresee what might happen tomorrow. Live life to the fullest people.

My body needs some lubrication. Searching and yet to be found. If only i get my head going. I might just get it right. I need nutrients, right now.

-

2007-08-27T08:32:00.000+08:00

An Expressionist express his feelings through painting. However, different people view each painting with different perspective. A self-potrait can mean just nothing but it can also mean other thing.

Actually, I got nothing much to say and I'm pretty sleepy... But need too go to work.. hmph! I can survive... hehehe... :P...

The Crow

2007-08-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare that scare the sheet out of me. Weak and fear surrounds me. I was alone and had no one. The darkness, trapped me inside and there was no way out. "A dungeon in my own hand". I can't imagine what the meaning was but the fear feeds the darkness and weak came through the way.

Black is the color. Emptiness, revenge it's seek. Despair and misery is the feeling. Fear it feeds and laughs to those who's weak. Living hell it may have seem. Cure of the pain still in of searching.

Licin

2007-08-21T09:24:00.000+08:00

The breeze brush my skin and the aroma of the morning freshness so0thes my thoughts. Although the tiredness was compelling but still responsibility measures my actions. The hardness seems to be increasing however, thoughts of the 'calms' assist with the resistance of failure.

Arriving to the destination, the butterfly flew across me. Showing me that the freedom isn't bad and the beaty is upon me. Smile pasted on me and thankful to the buttrerfly to have make the beginning happy. Walk a few stepa away, jerked by the fact a squirrel ran pass by me. Scare by the shock, it makes me laugh. Squirrel was so near and it was the first time that I was so0 close to a brave squirrel. It didn't seems to be running from me, in fact, making me notice it. It jumps off with style and make his way as I have to make my way through the day.

It was a pleasant beginning to begin a day with. I am thankful and appreciate with the nature. I'm not alone and I never is. No one can defeat loneliness. The day is so0 smo0th that I can hardly feel the draginess. Hopefully the next up Sun would also be as pleasant or even better than the day i've went through. Until then, have a pleasant day ahead of you.

to0 lazy

2007-08-20T07:29:00.000+08:00

I admire those with hair that is so0 silky and straight. I have that kind of hair but not into the extreme of silkiness. However, i don't really like my hair to be extremely neat. In fact, I am proud to have such straight n lovely hair. At the same time, I prefer to have messy hair. I don't comb my hair often. Sometimes, in a month... only once or twice i would comb my hair... I'm to0 lazy to comb though... hahaha...

Lame

2007-08-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

Dead Silence was quite an o0hky story. Enjoyed it, co0l stuff and storyline. However, there's some missing parts and pieces. Then again, it's really co0l. hahaha... I'd say, 2 and the half potatochips?... hahah...

I'm so0 addicted to Hot chocolate. So0 yummy2! But, i had chocolate milkshake just now such that didn't hv time to buy hot choc at 7-eleven... o0h well, it's taste as go0d as ever. hahaha... love it... Making myself feeling hungry... huaks! I used to love doughnut but Im getting tired of eating them. I like Dunkin Doughnut though. Whenever i'm visiting my dentist, I would make my trip to Dunkin Doughnut... Yummy Yum yum! But then, the flavours are all the same n it started to to taste like nothing... hmph...

I am still wondering what's my future holds. We can't chase time neither time chasing us. As the pin goes round, a day has passed and a new day arrives. Will I ever be where I dreamt I'd be in a few years time? Will I ever see whatever I dreamt of seeing in a few years time? Will I still breathing in a day time? Questions keep repeating itself but no answer seems to finding their way. Wish that someone could tell but hey, we can't run faster than the time neither can we run slower than time. Wait!

To the lost; there's nothing you can do to change it. You are not alone. Almost 99.9% of human beings are facing the similar problems. Smile all the way and laugh it your way. The matter is 'You'...

--> Timeless

&ti-SewShel

2007-08-19T14:27:00.000+08:00

There was she standing alone with her smile on her face. People aren't around her, she lives by herself. Socialisation isn't her world. The world is round and she's the only one in it. Happy and gay she is... She hopes that no one would invade and destroy it. Only her.. Only She... Only one that lives...

Updates

2007-08-19T12:06:00.000+08:00

I know it has been like so0 so0 long (except the previous one) since I've update some stuff here. Well, I think I am one of the typical blogger to let the whole world know about me. 0oh well, I want them to read my bo0k one day. That if i were to be a writer in the future which I don't think I can cause I don't posses the strong language. At least a blog can make me feel like a writer myself. Informal writer perhaps. Just some sharing here and there.

To start from where i've stopped would be like so0 long2... Shortened it-> Yesterday

Went out with my cousinz for shopping and relieving the strez. I can be really brutal at times and grunge. Anywayz, we went to Cineleisure to watch Dead Silence and upsettingly it's sold out. :'( So0, we went for lunch at Burger King and saw lots of caucasian guys. F.Y.I, they're younger than me. Luck goes to my cousin then. Hmph! Hahaha, o0h well... It's not wrong just to lo0k at them. hahaha... I bought quite alot of stuff and it's damn stubborn of me lah kan! haha...

We went to HMV and i listened to Korn, Sum 41 and Smashing Pumpkins. There was this one uncle listen to i think Marilyn Mason or some other hardcore band arr... He was really 'enjoying' himself to the MAX! I was like, wo0w!!! It may seems funny but I salute him... I respect him... Anywayz, I was listening to those three bands and was also enjoying myself but not as extreme as the uncle. The music that went through my eardrums and into my head, was brutally affecting me and I wanted to cry. It changed my mo0d and I was tempted to buy all. The music is freaking nice lah. Then I went over to other side to listen to other bands. I can't remember then name of the band but the music was also so0 co0l. I wanted to buy the whole HMV... hahaha... o0h yeah, I also come across Paul McCartney... He's music is a oh so moving!! Damn! I feel like buying almost everything... hahaha...

My cousin told me about an MP3 cost less than $100 and I was interested in buying it. It's ZenStonePLuz I think... hahaha... So0, we went on to Funan IT Mall to searched for it. The first shop cost over hundred plus and the second was $99.. I wanted to buy but I don't own a windows XP. Then again, Kinah have. So0 I bought the black colour. As you know, I love Black so0 much that it seems to be me instead. It's really co0l. My second MP3 with 2GB. Hahaha... I'm so0 excited. I also bought headphones. haha..

Then we went on to meet my aunty who is already there with some other cousin at Esplanade. It has been really a strez week for us. Fireworks seems to ease our mind for the kids. I shouldn't come along cause I need to do other stuff but I'm more go0d at baby-sitting... HUaks!

Arriving there, we were at the place where there were a platform performance once. We waited for so0 long and it was quite warm. There were a few peeps that screamed and doing silly stuff to0. hahaha... They were worst though. Count down to fireworks... We were all so0 anxious. Alot of jokes were coming out of my aunty. I was so0 cannot angs arr... ahahha...

There's the fireworks. The peeps were screaming as if they were being raped. I was quite distracted but the sound of fireworks seems to dissolved well. hahaha... It's pretty much irritating however. The fireworks were really nice. I was enjoying myself and felt the EMO. It's lasted for 15-20 mins I think and damn nice lah. I wish there would be fireworks on my wedding 0r maybe fireworks for me... huaks! hahaha.... Dream 0n!!

The place was damn packed with alot of people and we were stuck somewhere. I went on my way to meet some of my fwens to pick up somethings. Come across a kid called Hidir. He's Hayati son and he's damn cute and very the funny. I feel awkward though. hahaha... Niways... He is 3 years old. Reminds me of Irfan. To compare Hidir n Irfan.. I can't believe Irfan lo0ks more older... hahaha... o0h well, just lo0k at the aunty lah... Lo0ks matureed! huaks... Then after we went home. We went home al0ne such that different way. So0, alone lah aku ni. I sleep all the way through. Really co0l...

At home, I tried to transfer song to the MP3.. Upsetting lah!! Cannot! o0h well, I'm gonna have to make Kinah strez... hahaha... Sorry gal... There's some pictures from yesterday below;

(Damn! Pack)

(Hidir)

(Elfie n Hidir)

I am such an As$

2007-08-19T10:37:00.000+08:00

I am such an 'S'. I've brought everything without seeing the space. I put on everything without estimating how heavy it may seems. They will kill me if thEy know... How am I suppose to confront them when whatever they say fears me most and I'd be stumbling and falling down a very deep black hole. Can I? Will I? Expecting the worst and I will never complain cause I deserves it...

I may have acted such a way that people might take it the wr0ng way. I just want to apologise to those whom might think me the wrong way. I was just kidding and it isn't what you peeps should think. Words may mean other thing but being used to be meant other things. I am just a simple person who likes to be simple and straightforward (face to face). I will say when I say it is. If you think and feel like there's something wrong or right, -DON'T- cuz it may not be. I also like people to ask me questions if they're unsure. So0, don't be afraid and ask. :D Sometimes, i maybe such an 'S' that people won't ask and I would act... This can be really brutal. hahaha...

o0h well, I am such an 'S' because some of the matter that's flying around un-noticely. Make it a point that, I am a human with feelings and emotions. I also have brain just like the rest of you. How I bring my current and wave is different from those of you. Everyone is imperfect and they have their own style. Remember, whatever i say, is an IS... Never assume me and I never meant other way if it is what I mean... Got what I mean? Feel free to ask... This isn't private... It's for the public, if it is so0 why Blog! ... o0hky...

Perhaps, the weather changes and things can be really difficult to understand sometimes. I am happy and I hope it stays that way and better. Forgive me is I am being usch an 'S' towards some of you

--> Everyone has their part to play and theirr part to smile.

Blank

2007-08-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

Seems like my post have been really empty... I apologise for the simplicity and to0 plain of my blog. This is due to the tight schedule that I have and also to the problems encounter both mechanically,mentally and physically. I hope for your understanding... Thank you... Hahaha...

So0 damn formal! Anywayz, will get everythinI(almost everything) settle first. I will put up some pictures and updates for you all... Nothing much interesting though... o0h well, until then...

Peace

I can't be a leader, I'm a follower (Very low self-esteem)

2007-08-13T09:53:00.000+08:00

Went for a leadership camp or as similar, I realised that I can't be a leader. I have no qualities of being one. Except, I ensure the safety rather than the mission itself. What the heck?! Being the leader, I felt that I am a useless shit! One, I don't know how to communicate. Two, i don't hold the words to have them attention. Well, I suppose being a leader should posses the words and the voice to catch the attention (from my opinion) Thirdly, I don't have the confidence either. I believe that my other team member is better at being a leader. Perhaps because I have little or limited knowledge. hmm... Everyone does... Well, let's just say... I'm weak a being a leader... hmph...

I'll be out! Peace

Just

2007-08-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

hahaha... I am out of control, laughing at myself. I may hv said that "I want a boyfriend now" but the facts, "relationship = bullshit". The reason I said those things is because what is happening around me. Let's face it, being a normal human being, love is just something that's been around from the start and it is natural that beings are lo0king for it. However, the attitude and behaviour caused by it simply hurts and ended up to bullshit meaning of relationship. Therefore, it was just a statement understated of how i lo0k at it.

Obviously, all of you would want to know which stage i'm at... Well, factfully... I don't really care about such stuff... I have lots of other things to worry about and it is the least one that i should concentrate on. Admitting it, sometimes it does get abit empty but simply better than getting the mirror shattered.

I am glad that people noticed me as a random kid and that I am an irritating freak to be entertained by. One, people don't understand me and people tend to misto0k some things into an opposite meaning of what I actually meant it by. Two, I just have no style for them. Three, I don't have the 'lo0ks'... I can be really scary... hahaha.... I might go on and on... Let's get to the point, I am just a random kid that a handful of people to0k notice of.

To me, it is such a sad thing that sometimes people treated as what they intended to were taken wrongly and ended up to either an end or just just. Which i don't understand... 'ending' and 'just just' ... Some said it's for the better and some said it's just a waste. hmm... To me frankly, is a waste! Why? Let's face it, how would u feel when you were once closed and suddenly it just ended? Be it, relationship or friendship or whatever... Don't you feel abit missing? o0h well, some people just so0 like that... Some people just treasure... Either way... It's for the best for both, i guess...

Whichever step you take... If you think it's for the best for both or either one, be it... If you are confident to face the consequences that comes along with it. Additionally, the steps may just come back to you or the step you taken aren't the step at all... if you know what i mean?

oo0hky... That's all I have to say... Peace

It exploded

2007-08-05T22:56:00.000+08:00

The bombs ticking and waiting for the time to end. The policce force, the S.W.A.T came over and cut each one of the wires. Each wire were cut and each wire never stops the time, instead it goes on ticking faster. Tried to slow it down. Nothing seems to work... Kababo0m it goes... And went off, it explodez!

Searching for the missing pieces. Glued upon the broken ones. Bleed as one is taken, and anxiously searching on. Mixed with the other broken pieces. Found the wrong and threw and searching again. When will it stop, when will it appear, where is the missing pieces, come and make it to one piece again.

STOP! said it all. How and why? Can't hold on long! Can't take the pain! Let it die and rot alone. Let it die... Let it die....

Alamak!

2007-08-05T04:01:00.000+08:00

The life is half dead
Makes her heart break
Tears flow down
In her tears, she drown

Screaming her heart out
She can't voice out her thoughts
Diaries she wrote
Mirror on the wall broke

Memories drove past
Time fly by so0 fast
Wished she could rewind
Time of mistake to be unwind

Pain! Pain! Pain!
Frown! Frown! Frown!
Alone!Alone!Alone!
That's when she goes kabaBO0M!

Random

2007-08-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

I wish I am there, stading right next to you
Yet I am here standing, far from both of you
It' so0 sad,There's a crack in the middle
And I'm being cast away from my home where I belong

There's a time to waste
There's a time to control
Is it time to say go0dbye
From the ones that I love

The smile and the laughter, the joy and excitement
The trip that you brought me with
The happiness that we had
What will happen, if it ends tonight...

I will cry, i will scream
I will bleed
There will be blo0d stream
There's no way out, im in pain
Why can't you understand me.......

:'D

2007-07-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

I'm in tears not because of anything major though. hahaha... My hair! It's turning straight again! hahaha... Gosh! I really do have pain in the neck hair just like the owner. hahaha...

I am gald that my friends from work called me up just now just to sing birthday song for me. Belated... I am happy and touched! I cried lah kan!... hahaha... Singlish! Thank you people! Thak you! I really do appreciate it and can't wait to work at Songs of the Sea. Missing there...

hmm... There isn't much of interesting tv shows today. Kind of bored to0. Lazy to0!! hahaha...

A day out

2007-07-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

Zizah, Kinah and I met up at the last minute plan to watch Captivity which i misto0k it for Disturbia. However, it was abit similar kind of movie. Anywayz, we dr0p by Dhoby ghaut (The Cathay) but none of the movie we intend to watch was up on the list. For a minute, we thought of having another movie... Zizah was in favour of 'Al0ne', a Thai movie... I was in favour of 'Paprika' a Japanese movie since Captivity wasn't the movie that i thought it is..Kinah, she's anything... Although, we're in the favour of others... We still wanted to watch thrilling movie. haha... Finally, we checked out the list at Zizah hp and bugis junction has 'Captivity", Bugis Junction GV is not on my top list cinema, then again... we just went on ahead....

We arrived there about 3.25pm and the show's at 4pm. We purchased the tix and gosh! The person didn't believe we're 19!!! huaks!!! My b'day was just yesterday... huaks!!! Damn!!! o0hky, so we went on and buy Chicken Wrap at LJS. Stuff it into Zizah's bag and went on in to watch Captivity. It was captivating at first, then... as it goes on... I find it quite lame and bored! Although, for a while it does grabbed my attenti0n but it was predictable... ISH! Out of 5 stars I'll give 1... Not worth watching in cinema...

I was laughing after watching such a silly movie. Then after, we went to Bugis Street and it was freaking funny!!!!!! Zizah was telling me about this guy's voice, he seems to hv lost his voice and I tried to imitate him but failed to0 cuz I couldn't stop laughing.... Then Kinah and I caugh sight of this one HOT ANG MOH at one shop... It was a very slow motion moment and I was like... 'wo0o0ow'... when someone just banged onto me and I banged onto Kinah which leads me to a 'falling' scene which luckily did not happened!!! HUAKS!!!! I strated to laugh like nobody's business...

We went on around and around the Bugis Street to checked on some clothes and stuff. I was just doing a normal window shopping which I didn't know that both Zizah and Kinah was also monit0ring of what I'm eyeing for.... Gosh! You peeps really make me blushed... I caught an eye on a pair of shoe which is damn nice lah... I didn't expect you peeps would actually take that in as an opti0n... I am really grateful that you peeps bought that for me... I really love you peeps and i do love the shoes...

Afterwards, we went around accompanying Zizah to buy some clothes for herself and met up with Samitha. Our chairman whom also hv the same b'day as me only that he turned 21... haha... It was quite and interesting trip today. Samitha seems so0 ROCK! and alot of new stuff i learned today... I really had fun!

Life: It's a GAME! (I have to go to work early tomorrow such that I'm replacing my colleague. I should hv accompany my mom but I am als0 to0 lazy to go and I need of money for next month also leh... huaks!!!)

A year older

2007-07-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

Wehee... I am back.. As you all may know, there has been some meeting back in Malaysia. Quite unnecessary for me to inform the details. However, I am glad that despite me being overseas you all have been so0 kind and send me messages that I adore so0 much. Thank you!! I love you all! To lo0se a friend is like lo0sing a part of me, to gain one friend is making my life complete. Treasure you all!! It is an honour to have you all as friends.

I couldn't believe what the number says about me. I am thankful and blessed to have live until now. You never know when the time is up. I grateful to have meet s0me of you in the past years, some of you recently. Without each character, I wouldn't know what are the colours there is. Thanks again!

I wouldn't say I am matured nor I'd say I am childish. All i can say i'v reached to an age that is the last of my teen days... hahaha... o0h well... At first, I feel old but then when i lo0k around. I realise being such means more than just a word. It's the experience you have in life. Within this 19 years, I've realised how much worth it is to life. The fun and the sadness. On top of it all, I learn that a life can control what's affecting them... It's a matter of practises and allowing. I wish I could talk more but I am late for something... I'll drop by again, later this afterno0n... :D

Happy Birthday to me~!! Birthdays are meant to be celebrated b'cuz it's the day you to0k the first breath of the oxygen... Be glad... Even if the most person you want is not around... You have you... Celebrate alone doesn't mean SAD.. But it means, blessing! ;)

Taste Silly

2007-07-23T15:29:00.000+08:00

Do you know what I miss the most? I miss those Macroni Soup they served in Ping Yi Primary Scho0l back in the years. The moderate taste of the soup and spicynez of the chilli with the addition of those macronis... Wo0w! I feel so0 hungry. Hey, I've eaten alot and still something missing and it doesn't really fill me in. I just watched Naruto episode 166-167 and they're about Ramen! Wusho0o0o... I feel so0 tempted to eat those delicious carto0n like no0dle. The soup described is so0 damn delicious and I am dro0ling. Gosh! I should go for a diet trip. Eating ALL seems to be fattening just to find something that taste "POWER!"

I have this thing that says, I'm quite a huge eater. (Chouji-san! Naruto-san!)-hahaha... I just eat something until I am satisfied. When I eat more than one sco0p and have that 'hmm' face, it means that there's something missing. IF i to0k the second sco0p with a little amount and have that 'hehehe' face, it means... This is delicious, I shall dream about this fo0d and longed to eat again. And so0, I'm eating less... hahaha... Go0d fo0d are go0d to eat less... Less go0d fo0d will mean, Extremem go0d fo0d... Get what I mean?

Having all this talk really makes me feel guilty to have eaten alot. I guess, I really need real fo0d to really feed and satisfied my stomach. Erhm... I want something rewarding and deliciously profitable to my stomach... ahahaha.... o0hky, I think i should stop talking abt fo0d... hahaha...

It's just a matter of time

2007-07-23T12:05:00.000+08:00

It has been ten and plus2 days since i wrote something here. So0 perhaps, those would want to read what has been happening. It's not that I don't want to update stuff but it's just that I didn't have much time to write much. Plus the irritating 'stucknez'...

o0hky, here it goes... I've been shopping alot. Wheee.... hahaha... I shouldn't have shopped however, it's GSS and also you know what month.. (JULY!) Yeah! In about 2 days from today. hahaha... I am also been busy working. It is tiring! I don't know how my life at work's going to be. However, I am holding on as it is. As long as I smile and everything will be just fine and the day will past. The day past and you wouldn't even realise it's already next year and the year after. Time has been moving faster than I thought it'll be. Sometimes I wonder when and how it'll end.

Smiling and laughing are times when we are all in a happy mo0d but in between, who knows. It's just a matter of time to know. It's either we tell or we just keep it to ourselves. Either way, time will always tell. Pr0blems came in and out as they wish. It's our willpower to overcome such things. Sometimes, sacrifices are necessary and what you are not overpowered seems to be drastically weaken. Most of the times, you have to cho0se one over the other. Sometimes, you just don't realise if it is wise to cho0se. Then again, to cho0se is to know and to know is wiser than not to know. ;)

I don't care if they think me otherwise. I don't care if they think i'm a fake. What is real, is when you sees it when you're not seeing it. Get what I mean? No? o0h well...

Let's get into other stuff... I will be going off to my grandm0ther house to meet Bob. Wehehe...!! I can't wait to meet him. I am longing to meet him since months or so0 ago. Probably, he'll be sulking. 0oh well, even a minute is little but my love and presence means alot more than just that. Hopefully, he knows that. I love you, Bob!!

For those new people whom reading this might think that Bob is my boyfriend. Well, the fact, he's my pet, cat. He is my friend, my brother and my all time favourite "nagging machine". Not to menti0n my alarm clock to0... hehehe... I miss him so0 much. He migrated to my grandma's house to get some new fresh air and life perfected to his style. Even a cat would want to be out of the stressing life. We will re-unite when the time comes.

Hey! Did I menti0ned that whenever I see couples, i would laugh? Even just by the word BGR, would crack me up about 2 minutes? hahaha... Don't ask me why? But it sounds so0 funny. I guess, I've lost it all. I don't think BGR exist in my dictionary. Not even faithful, loyalty and sincerity in the face of the Earth. Although, I do believe there is some unknown, I have still yet to discover. At the moment, it's BLANK!

Wonder is all I can do and keep wondering is what I am go0d at. Tell me if you know, tell me perfectly well. Words are not for me to know, actions are for me to believe. If you have what it takes to change the theory of mine, please do so0 and make me believe I'm wr0ng....

The red isn't the colour of anger... It's a colour that says, "I am here, and I see. I am aware so0 BeWaRe"...

See what I've found

2007-07-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

I ran through some stuff today and found quite a surprising things. My old notebo0ks Incomplete ones. I laugh at some and thre some without any hesitation. I realised how much i've changed and grown from things happening. It is not a mistake that LiFe is a part to play. I am amused of myself and glad that I've gone through alot of pain. Tears of loneliness has always been my company. I'll never feel down. I will never will. Down under is just another place that i've been.

I realised alot of things and I don't mind what people think. As expected, I knows it all. It's just a matter of how I did it. I know you peeps won't understand what I'm saying. It's to0 complicated. Even I will get my tongue twisted if I explain it. Simplest way to understand is to observe and analyse. In other words, pay attenti0n! Anywayz, you don't understand b'cuz you can't. It's hard to understand one person when the person doesn't want to be undesto0d at all. By the way, don't mind my words. ;D

It's just the past before the past, was so0 great and flowery. I didn't think that it totally affected me and everything came tumbling down. It has proven that I shouldn't make any improper decisi0n. I like it that way. Call me an Emo, call me an Anti-social girl. I am who I am and I live by myself. A smile is never a fake. A laugh is never just make. Believe me and you will know. Crazy is just another word to describe but Amusing is an actual word to make the stand. Entertaining it is. Boring is never IS...

Growing up!

2007-07-02T11:44:00.000+08:00

I received alot of comments about myself being quite childish indeed or probably not serious enough about life. Well, one thing I'd like to say is 'Thank you' for the comment. I appreciate it and it gives me some thoughts about myself.

First of all, from my point of view - I am serious about life but I don't tend to be such that things have happened and it has done quite alot of side effects. These things have made me realised that I am not ready to be serious when i'm more serious than some people might think. Probably, what makes you peeps think that I ain't matured is because I don't want to be matured yet. hahaha... Actually, the topics or the stuff that we're basically talked about does not concerns of any seriousness.

Secondly, I'm scared and i know almost all of us are about growing up. Frankly, i do want to grow up but some situati0ns do play a part in growing up and why some people reacted in such a way. To me, I know when I should be serious. However, when to be serious to me may not apply to those around me. I find myself having a totally different mind set and thinking than those around me which makes me feel outcast at some point but glad to0..

Then again, I frequently asked questi0ns that irritate those close to me or so0. For example, how do u think abt me or where should I be more focused on. O0hky, m0st people might answer me by saying,' Just be yourself..' That is totally not the answer I want to hear. If i have that answer, might as well i don't ask at all. In life, things happened for a reason. To find a reason the easiet way is to ASK. Therefore, I asked because I have a reason for asking. My reason is to adapt to the environment asking how the environment is. I can't basically pollute the air when the environment is clean. Get what I mean??

I don't mind all of you call me childish and immatured. I'll be more happy to accept it cause it shows that I have alot more to learn. Alot more obstacle to overcome in order to reach a certain level. I remembered what my primary 6 teacher, Mr Tayeb said. Girls are more matured when they're at the age of about 13 to 21 or so0... For guys, when they reached the age of 18 and above... This is however, true enough in theory.

It's not that I don't take anything seriously or to0 seriously. Sometimes, if you want me to be serious, it depends on what subject and what are the things i'm doing. Also, I need you to be my eyes for mine SELF. Like what you've mentioned, I am not matured. Now, I didn't see that way. If possible, spot the stuff when I'm not serious and when I am. This would very much help me grow to be someone that you might want to see me as. I don't have to smile for someone or impress anyone about me. Then again, to be impress of myself alone, sometimes is not enough. Compliments are also part of the achievement of being impress of myself which would lead to a smile and congratulations to myself. So0, that's how I see things. Don't worry about me trying to impress anyone cause basically, I am not and factfully, I am trying to reach a certain level of growinig up or how the atmosphere is. An outcast I am but also adapting won't hurt.

If you see me being alone in a gathering, doesn't mean I am emo or anti-social (although i can be an anti-social sometimes..haha...). It is actually, how I adapt on things. Sometimes, to act on somethings you have to view it from the top and see how the situations goes like, right? Well, that's how i do things. No denials, sometimes I like to be alone at certain point of time - Don't mind me, just have fun. I will ask if I need anything. :D

Growing up is the main thing about Life. Thank you for those who have been such a helpful person and given the most sincere comments to me. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you and please don't stop monitoring me and tell me about it. I will be more happy and joy to change for a better me... :D Don't worry, I will take in, consider it and fix it.... Well, thank you...

--> Grow up... Isn't what I do best but I will do my best... ;)

Cry me a river

2007-07-01T18:36:00.000+08:00

izen toshite shinobiyoru kodoku... I really hate it when it comes over everytime when I was just about to smile. It really makes my days feel so0 hopeless and troubled. Keeps thinking about the possibilities of every single emoti0n. I maybe in one of those days in a month but then it's so0 irritating. Why can't a heart and a mind feels and talks the same language. The heart is always right and the logic comes in mind. hmm... ?_? aiyo0o0o....

My tears are impatient to emerged yet my eyelids are keeping them in. I feel the hurt. I feel the pain. Then again, I am happy and overjoyed by what i am right now. I am contradicting myself. I know. As much as I want to admit is as much as I want to deny it. The feeling is so0 undescribable. Truly, I really don't know why I should go through this again and again and again. It's stated that I gave it up! So0 why does it have to come bouncing back and make me cry like the ocean space.

A new chapter but an old pr0blem. Help me! Please someone, help me!! I am desperately in need of someone to help me with this freaking, troublemsome problem! Gosh!! I really hate it!... hahaa...

o0hky, cry me a river! I cry myself a river wide.... huaks....

-- Peace --

When a new day begins... There's also a new Chapter begins.....

2007-06-25T19:58:00.000+08:00

What you see above is the old Me! Lo0k at my hair... Long and silky... haha... Nice long hair... I love the hair but it is long enough for me... It's time to have a new lo0k!! Don't you think so0? Well... I love my hair and i want my hair to lo0k go0d to0... Cutting off my hair doesn't mean it won't grow back right? hmm... I've done some thinking and some researching... It's time for lo0king go0d... haha... Lo0k go0d means feel go0d.. Feel go0d means lo0k go0d... hahaha... I cut of the fringe first! huaks... A day b4 i went on cutting the whole thing... hahaha

And so0, i went to Marsiling's salo0n with Rakinah for some survey. Seems like it's cheaper there. hmm... I got two salo0ns which offers $50 for the whole thing. I targeted for $60 though... co0l eh... Well, here's my lo0k... Kinah, got her haircut to0 into layered and reboneded her fringe... That's her pix... hahaha.... Like the chinese vampire... HUAKS!!

Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" />

(kinah)

Lo0k at this pic and the other one... do I lo0k alike? I lo0k quite different!! hahaha... This is a new beginning... Wuho0o0o!!!....

(kinah n me 1)

(kinah n me 2)

~Give me some comment!!!

A new day begins

2007-06-19T01:32:00.000+08:00

A day begins when the Sun is up. You start to wash up and ready to face the day. I went to hit the road and stopped at a wide field nearby. The sun was coming up and i had my hp with me all the time. It's simply to0k my breath away watching the sky therefore i captured it to be still.

I feel free. The sky seems to be a bo0k to me. A bo0k that I won't get bored every single day. The day starts empty and slowly to a climax and to an end. How long a day is, how long you want your day to be? hmm.... I know my day would be long!! hahaaha...

Everyday has it's own surprises. Some are pleasant and some are just as dread. To start a day would be pleasant enough with a smile. Laughters would be even better. To keep up with that smile, always remember why you start ur day with a smile when you hv such an awful middle part of the day. Sometimes, it may work and sometimes, it's just as useless... hahha...

A new day begins will be if you allow it to be a new day for you... ;)

It's so0 funny

2007-06-14T09:55:00.000+08:00

It's so0 funny that I had to laugh. DUH! Well, the connections between mothers and daughters are so0 great. My mom knew something else about the work place but didn't want to tell me to0. Even so0 she feels guilty not telling me. When that happens I feel the uneasiness. hahaha... Now that I knew, I feel much more better and relief. At least, i'm not crying anymore and stressing myself what is going on. hahaha... My mom told me to ask myself which what makes me happy and what I really want. Now, that's when I get really confused. I'm clueless! My dad told me to find a full-time job as so0n. My mom told me what makes me enjoy. Can I be a full-time slacker and a part-time worker for the time being?? hahaha... I know this is scary. Nevertheless, I really want to enjoy like hell... hahaha... I don't know why I hv this kind of mind but from the lo0ks of things, u've been a full-time student when u're in scho0l and when you're out of scho0l you need to be a full-time worker? Then when u're retired then u want to hv fun?? C'mon... Where's the fun in that?? hahaha... I'm still young!! Let me enjoy my last teen as a real teen?? hahaha... huaks... hahaha... WTH!

What's wrong with me??

2007-06-13T19:58:00.000+08:00

I've reached my peak. I better st0p denying!! I've been feeling qute low and down for these past few days. I know what's causing it but I can't really know why it's causing it. It should be great news that i've found my full-time job as a Trainee Childcare Teacher. However, to my own surprise it doesn't seems to be a great news nor get me excited. Instead, it gets me feeling worst!!! I really do want this job and I had it but why am I not happy? Why am i crying?? It's go0d beneficial and all but I just don't know why?! I love the kids, the kids aren't the problem neither do the staff. It's just me!! I wasn't being focus and a child fell down without me noticing it. I was out in the other land. I'm not sure if I deserve this job w/o any special techniques or experience. I feel so0 guilty and heavy. I am not matured yet I'm taking care of those kids?? hahaha... I am risking their stay. Parents send their kids to childcare centre with trust. I can't even trust myself taking care of these kids and expect the parents to trust me. It is so0 dangerous.

Another thing, I miss Sentosa's atmosphere. The sand, sea and the sky are just making it so0 perfect every single day even when it's the worst day ever! I guess that with my immaturity, i discover that I am not fit to have a full-time job at the age of 18. hah! Wth!!! This is really wreck man!! Really!!! I've made it through the interview and quit Sentosa but it's just doesn't seems to be such. I can't even believe myself. The pay is go0d yet i'm just feeling so0 dissatisfied. I wanna go back to Sentosa. This is it! Sentosa is the land where my grandfather used to live in and it's the closest thing for me to be close to him... hahaha... I know this may sound like crap. Haiz... I really don't know lah... When I quit Sentosa, it was the hardest thing to do. I don't even just go off like that, I stick around for awhile alone watching Sentosa from Vivo City... Siak arr, EMO lah seh!!!.... huaks....

I don't know what's going through my mind that time. The only thing I can remember was when will I be going back... I am sure that I will have a come back but I never thought that it may not be early or not at all if i have 5 and half working days. Damn it arr!!! I am such... Not to mention, I had so0 much fun and lo0king forward to work in Sentosa. I really don't know what to do....

I'm 18, immature to have full-time job and I am in a favour for enjoyment... ahahaha... Feeling so0 depress right now. U know what?! Even if I want to be a fashion designer or animator, I think i just pass. I guess that my Diploma is travel and tourism and i should be in that way of direction. haiz...

Rest

2007-06-12T06:45:00.000+08:00

It is quite a sleepy day to start with. I didn't hit the road today. I planned not to watch the television tonight. Probably, this week would be the busiest and tirest week. I shall get my system reset. I've been sleeping more than 8 hours before this and work for 4 hours. A new start would be the other way round. Just like in those secondary scho0l days. Nevertheless, I should have at least 6 hours of sleeping. In a day there's 24 hours. Minus 6 hours of sleeping, 9 hours of working left with another 9 hours. This would minus of the journey to and fro to work. Then that would mean, a few hours left for me to have a time of my own. Hahaha... I make it sound as if it's to0 tight. As so0n as I get my system reset, I'd say... I'll be as free as a bird... :D The facts, I just need to trust.

o0hky enough of that... Now I am quite upset that I could not access to myspace.com. This is very frustrating such that it's the only site that I am active in. I don't know why but i suspect it would have something to do with accessing to alamak.com. My brother have been going there this few days. It is such a stressing moment really!!... argh!!! o0hky, I'm co0l... Peace

Monday

2007-06-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

I woke up early and hit the road. I watched the sunrise and it was awesome. As always, the sky makes me feel peace. However, before I went out of the house, I went out and check out some things at my former ro0m. To have found out, all my secondary scho0l bo0ks are being thrown by the BITCH! I really HATE this!! She has no right to throw all those things away. I am planning to re-take my O level. It is my choice to take it for fun or if there's any reason behind it. Now she has threw it away which makes me DAMN FURIOUS!!! Nevertheless, I calmed myself down even when I am not really satisfied. HELO0!! SHE THREW IT AWAY!!!! Who can take it seh!! Argh!!... o0hky... fuuuuooooo.... I'm relaxing myself.... I'll be just fine... I'll be fine... No point in firing right??!!.... Just waiting.... haiz...