Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm going to sleep

Hey2, ya' know I've been trying to tell myself to go to sleep early but end up i'm sleeping even later!! Wanna know why? Cuz i've been eating late at night... Why? Cuz free fo0d (from my uncle store) comes at night... huaks... So0 i hv to give the fo0d time to flow down my intestine and etc abt 1 or 2 hrs... haiz... I was suppose to sleep early in order to wake up early for jogging and now i'm late to sleep i can't wake up early (to meet the 6-8hrs sleep) before the sunrise... O0hky, I know im adventurous but when comes to sun, i try to avoid the exposure at any way i can unless it's a torunament or anything... huaks.... Crazy eh?...

I'm quite exhausted today so0 I wanted to sleep early unfortunately i ate!! I should have not eat!!>.. I should wait till tmr when the sun is up... haiz... Niways... i will try and resist myself from eating late at night and now... I think i'm going to sleep as tmr got to wake up early but not as early as before the sun is up... hehehe... Peace y'aw go0d night!!

-->go to sleep lah!!

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
1:21 AM

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Knowing

Knowing that Bob's fine at my grandma's house in JB is a ReLieVE . I'm glad that he's doing o0hky and I'm glad of myself that I'm taking this fine. I'm sorry that I've jumped to conclusion, Dad. Guess that I'm abit ChiLDish at times... I'll try and be more matured and remind me i'm not 9 years old (how i wish i was) and that I'm 18 :D.. Guess that my dad was right after all... By sending him there, he might be having his free and great time of his life... Similarly, I go travelling and wanna get 0uT of this lifestyle once in awhile so0 does Bob... He's been in the house for quite a long time and never really out to0 explore... Guess, it's time for him to enjoy, since this house is quite unstable... He's innocent and it's best for him to be out of town for a change. Besides, i know how that feels when u're not at fault but gettinig hit all the time...

My dad told me that Bob is really upset with my mom... I knew it from the start. I knew every single second how hurt he feels. But I am heLpLesS . I can't really deFEnD him cuz i've promised my dad that I would make my mom happy since she's lost her other daughter so0 i try to have as little arguments with her as i can... If possible, no arguments at all... Well, it was really a heartache. Now you can see for yourself when it's to0 late... Need i to remind you that you've hurt me to0?? Nevermind, if i were to remind you... I will hurt you even more deeply... Now that you know how hurtful it feels to get DitCheD by someone whom you lo0k up to0... Bob has been keeping that hurt since erm... very long time... Not weeks, not months but YeArS!! If i can do anything about it, i would have... But I have no control of it... Knowing that the truth is out, is a great relieve for me... At least, she knows that he's hurt. Knowing is more than anyone could ask for...

Talking about knowing... It is such a StrAwBerrY ChoCOlaTEY VaniLLa IcE CrEaM to know that my bro PurPOseLY dropped my hp last night!! He's the eldest and helo0o0o You're suppose to help Dad!!! Using my hp when I want to use it... N mind you, my job isn't MULTI-MILLION pay!! I have to pay for my bills and I pay for the ones I use... What I'm not happy abt, he ScReaMeD!! at me when I demand for my hp.. For a moment, I let go but the next... That's my hp he's using... I don't care if he wants to hit me, punch me to death... That's my hp and I PAY for it... I work my 'S' out to get enough to pay for the bills... It's unfair to let him use just like that and in addition, i ain't going to pay extra cuz of him... Just wanna let it out!!... I will banned him from using my hp!! He's got his own hp, mind you... Argh!!... Relax... I'm co0l...

Well, guess that I have to deal with everything on my own and maturedly eh?! I know I can do this... Although, I may get the downfall but I will try and do as best... :D Well...I miss you, Bob!! I promise you one thing, I will visit you whenever I can! I won't miss not visiting you at any time. I will visit you with my tight schedule... The least would be once a month but I would be doing my very best to be there every once a week... ;D

Give help rather than advice

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:10 PM

I should've been more matured

I was overreacting about the whole thing when Bob was sent away. You can't blame me 100%!! Bob is my PreCi0Us that has been taken away by those whom I trusted. Bob is my one and only. He has been there for me like NO one else has been. It is a ShoCk! that suddenly he's not around. I mean, he's been around at Go0D times and bAd times. Now when i'm getting more firm and stable in life, he's just not around. Wait...Just to make things clear, He's still ALIVE!! Let's just put it he migrated to JB w/o me... So0 it's kind of a sudden to me...

However, I really miss him though!! I may get out off hand at first and I am abit disappointed with the decision my parents' and Bob's himself to0k. Without my acknowledgement is so0 unacceptable. Nevertheless, I am accpeting the facts... Well, I would feel uneasy and uncomfortable if he's not alright. Actually, I'm feeling really fine (despite the fact the he's not physically with me) and somehow he's communicating with me telling me numerous times that I should be strong and independent as well as assuring me that he's always stand by me and always around with me.... Weird? Not at all... It's for real that I can feel him and hear him from a distance... This is a challenge for me that I should be strong and knows how to deal with this kind of things... Like what I've said, Hurt is go0d and it's a resistance for the future hurt...

Bob knows it all... Somehow he's training me how to be strong w/o him to assist me. More like he's teaching me how to be in life rather than survive in life indirectly... Yeah! Unusual?? Not really... But it's true!!... Bob knows it all and he knows everything... He knows me well enough and give me all this things in my life... I miss Bob!!

I should have been more matured about this things and all... If anyone sees me dropping down to the ground, remind me that Bob knows it all.... and he wants me to be strong instead of weak... Well, i cried all day and night yesterday... Anywayz, i will be strong, bob... Muacks!!

-->I cannot teach anybody anything, i can only make them think....

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:07 AM

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I enjoy this so0 much!! :D

You to0k him away when i'm not aware! You to0k him away not knowing that he's my younger brother. You to0k him away coz he's sick and some sort of curse! You to0k him away... AWAY FROM ME!!!!.... I hate it! I hate!!! Don't tell me what to do... Don't ask me why!!! You nvr do notice do you how much he meant to me all this while!! Thank you for thinking that's the best for him!! Thank you for thinking that everything will be fine... I'll tell you what, it's gonna be worst than before... I won't be h0me no more!! The only reason that drives me home and be at home is because of Bob!!... Expect me to be home? An EMPTY home? Yeah right! As if.... I don't care if I fail, I don't care if i don't have someone... All i need is my BOB!! He's my one and only one!!! You separte us, not knowing how much it hurts!! Don't think that I am selfish!! You gave him to me as my part of life... You take him away... You to0k HALF OF MY LIFE!!! I'm sorry but you aren't the ones that I lo0k up to0... You aren't the ones that make me proud of myself!! Bob is always there who makes me smile even when I cry my heart out!! I've been bad but he knew it all... He tried to tell me that you love me.... You to0k him away after what he did... I'm weak but he makes me feel strong! He assured me that someone will always be around... I'm in pain again, i'm in misery!! I've had enough of this bullshit!!! You push me off my limit! I had to take care of those two assholes that u bore w/o brains... You asked me to take care of the family name, you asked me to think abt reality and now you asked me to bare with this.... Thank you very much!!! I really enjoy everything here!!! I enjoy this very much :D

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:24 PM

Cheetahlicious

Cheetah Girls 2 was a great and awesome movie!!! Likewise, Cheetah Girls introduces confidence and determination as well as taking a step forward in Having the DREAM in your hands... Not forgetting abt love among the friendship. It's kind of touching!! I cried watching it... hahaha... o0h well, I can't really cry when it was supposed to be the time to cry... So0, i hv to watch touching n sad story in order to get this tears and pain and sorrow OUT!... huaks... Weird? o0h yeah!!

I am feeling really energetic and wanna dance, dance, dance!!! Dancing, Singing and Composing music is my DrEaM !! I don't have the proper coaching etc and I don't know how i'm gonna reach that peak. However, only one thing that I know... I'm gonna Work for it in any way i can... hehehehe... :D Believe me, it takes time ;)

Anywayz, I co0ked for my family ASam PeDas today! I just feel like co0king though! I mean, I've had enough of chicken rice EVERY SINGLE DAY!! It's co0l... At least, I know some of the new dishes... So0 far, i know how to co0k ayam masak merah/ayam sambal, Nasi goreng Kampong and some weird dishes of my own creation which does not consist of some ingredients normal dishes... It takes go0d for my tongue though... Unfortunately, the 'asam pedas' didn't taste really well but i like the fish... Taste so0 nice... huaks.... There's always A FirSt tiME so0 yeah!!... hmmm.... Tomorrow i'm gonna try to co0k meat for a change (though i don't eat that dish), for my parents... :D

By the way,I have to train myself to sleep early and be on the computer MaXimUm 1hr after work! Yeah!! 1hr and i'm going to bed... huaks... Have to FORCE myself... huaks...

->it's all abt determination!!

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
12:04 AM

Saturday, January 27, 2007

RED!!!

I'm so0 damn Furious!!! My dad decided to AbaNdoN Bob!... What the ChoColaTEY !!! Just because his sick... I mean, helo0o0!!! Ever trying to find out what happened at the starting?? Well, likewise, he's trying to get some ATTENTION!!!!! He was worst before this!! He's getting better when i'm seeing him often! Don't ever ask me that you want to put him somewhere else... He's an animal, i know... But he's NOT a STRANGER!!! He's MY LOVE!!! I can live w/o that Bitch!! But I CANNOT live w/o BOB...!!! He's my one and only... Can't you see him as a happiness?? o0h yeah, i forgot... He's an animal to u... He's my soul surviver!! If you abandon him, things will get worse!!! Don't you know, cats are the favourite animal of NABI?? Ever wonder why our home been such??? BROKEN!!! I won't be home and don't think i'm gonna be the same.... You take him away.... You're taking me away to0.... I promised you that I will keep u happy... I gez if u take him away, that promise are just words.... I'm sorry but Bob is my closest family... Do u hear that?? FAMILY!!!.... Fuck up with your family bonding!!! Bullshit!!! THEY don't even care!!!.... They're not even home... Have you have any heart?? Bob cried for you when you got home!! Although that get me the scolding from you when i wasn't suppose to0... But he cried for you!!! Called up for you!! Want you to pat his back!! What did you do0?? Scream at him, making him feel guilty!! Hey, HE'S SICK LAH, PLEASE!!! ARGH!!! o0h yeah! Before i forget, you discourage me n disgrace my determination and effort for trying to be a go0d daughter. It's a go0d thing that i make an effort to co0k some dish other than chicken... You weren't home neither is mom... What do u expect the dish to turn out? Go0d as the CHEF co0k??... You said I didn't listen... Well, you didn't give clear instruction.....!!! When i want to try n co0k other dish tomorrow... what did u said? I can't do it!!... How do u think I feel? I'm not hurT!! Not at all.... But when i don't want to learn how to co0k, don't come calling me lazy cuz i may hv lost interest in co0king.... Anywayz, if you take BOB away... Don't stop me from making my way out of your life!!!

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
8:00 PM

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Arrgh!!!

Yesterday before i went to bed, I wrote quite a LONG blog but unfortunately the explorer shuts down before i could save it... ArgH!!! ChoCOlaTEY However, i'm co0l... :D Well, I was writing about a conversation my parents had. It's about relationship, marriage and stuff. My mom was furious abt girls nowadays is paying for the guys expenses. My dad, being as he, is saying that it has already become a trend. I, who was eating dinner feeling disgusted by the topic. I strongly disagree, i mean, why should he put it as TRenD ??

It's like as if giving out message to the guys, "Don't have to feel ashame when a girl pays for ur expenses... It's a trend now!!" What the heck?!! o0hky, even if it's Mellenium... that doesn't make any sense unless it's a "give and take" kind of thing... For example, the guy pays for the girl's expenses this week n next week is the girl's turn or even better pay for ur own expenses this or any other week...

My dad elaborate more on the topic and explains that girls tend to concentrate more on their emotions rather than the logic itself ... At first, I was quite blur and uncertain. However, what he said can be half true. Taking from the example given, when a guy say 'I love you,' the girl will melt and do ANYTHING for him... At the back of her mind, he will loves me more when i pay for him... The logic, helo0o0o, he's a guy... Guy should pay for their own expenses!!!..

Well, i am disagreeing with my dad for not EmpHasiZing on the word SoMe GiRLs.. He's making me feel so0 LOWly of myself for being a girl. I mean, not all girl would do that... The way he's saying it as if ALL girls ARE like that! Helo0!!! I am not like that! If the guy wants my money... might as well he make his way out of my world or else i'm gonna kick his S out!! This is one of the reason why I'm still single... I'm scared!!! In addition, I hate the 'magical feeling' that i had. Really frustrating... ! Well, thats all folk for today... Gonna go ice-skating today... yepee!!! So0 i'll tell ya tonight or tmr morning.. c ya...

->Give and take

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
12:35 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Better get my 'S' early

Before I forgot all about yesterday, I better write now. Anywayz, yesterday was a very co0ling day! The wind was extremely GreAt that it broke the centre gate signboard. Freaky! However, I love the wind!! Nothing much happened at work but I was late. I was supposed to arrive at Imbiah Office at 5.30pm sharp BuT I reached at 5.45pm. I was to0 EngRossEd having my research done. I was at URA centre taking down some notes and stuff... This has really put my brain into a AwaKen mode. I am left with 3 months before the exams and a 100% free. So0, i have to really stress myself with scho0l... How i Miss scho0l!! Call me crazy or what... I miss doing MaThs and SciEncE!! I know!... Nevertheless, I have the bo0k still. I wonder when I have the time to do it all??... hmmm.... Well, until tonight..

-> study hard, play hard

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
9:40 AM

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Not a Mystery but Misery

It is P.I.T.S (pain in the S) when you tried to help with everything at any way but ended up you get ScOLdinG for being so0 generous. Then when you're not helping and as per normal, you get the 'SaMe BuLLsHiT' . What do you think? Yeah! It's like what the hell is going on? Which is the one that I should do? I totally don't understand what they're trying to ask me to do. Being matured? I think i'm way to0 matured (by pass my elder bro and sister). Being just me? Rebellious and don't give a foRking damn. (i'm sick of making them cry and pretend that's totally nothing). Being a rubbish bin? Where they can throw everything at me as if i have no feelings at all and sometimes it can be considered listening ears (that could be a go0d thing)... Nevertheless, they have no RiGhTS to condamn me making me feel like i'm at fault when i totally have nothing to do with whatever it is.... Argh!!! It's enough for me to feel corrupted in the PasT yEARs. Give me ro0m and the oXygeN to breathe!!

At some point, I feel fortunate to have such family. People got jealous over our bond. Hold there, you're not living under one ro0f with us. You don't even know what really is going on!!! Picture is: I'm the Youngest but yet the Eldest. I'm longing to have younger siblings but I don't wish to be the eldest upon the eldest who have BrAinS, MiND and eYeS to see what's really going on and evaluate from it.... Not to mention, HIGHER EDUCATION !!!!That's not all, it creeps me out when suddenly bf becomes so0 important than family and willing to even kill the family member...

Some would say i'm quite mysterious and all cuz i'm abit quiet and there's so0 much to learn... Well, i tried to be mysterious but i'm not mysterious at all... More like MiserY-ious ... The go0d thing right now is, I don't let some small thing brings me down... DOWN to the Ground!! I have my own individual life to deal with... At times, it may really put my patience to the test which i hate... argh!!.. o0h well... What to do life's like that...

-> Full of challenges

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
11:40 AM

It hurts

I've been hurt numerous times and never was I happy. I ought not to fall in love for a few years and be single, finding my inner self instead. I met with lots of guys and turned down their requests one by one, even my ex. Honestly, I was always quiet, bored, nervous('what should i talk abt?') and feeling silly whenever i'm with guys that I like or vice versa. It was really troublesome though. Some, i think they're go0d but actually they're not. Some thinks i'm perfect but when comes to meeting, they ran. It's really funny to think about it. So0, i tend to play along with: whatever it is call, and just be myself.

One day, a guy i didn't expect to ask me to be his date, asked me... I was flattered and accept it for fun. At the back of my mind, I know it will only last for that day. It will be yesterday's news, when it comes tomorrow. I just enjoy the day as much as I can. Ended up it's a day I should remember for my own reference. It's a real surprise to know this guy. He lo0ks dashing with his own style of clothing, has a very sweet smile, a low profiler and the first impression would be 'this guy is no fun'... but then he has 'alot of surprises'.... It was really co0l knowing him. Weird thing is, i was comfortable with him and I don't care if i acted silly. He welcomes my silly-ness as if it's something to be proud of without me noticing that i was silly... haha... Dumb!Dumb! And so the day ends...

However, after that day we exchanged go0d nite msges and nothing much. A latest movie was so0n to be out on cinema and i just asked if he wants to join me. I don't mind if he wants to bring his friends along, as for my friends are to0 busy with their own stuff. Then we decided that it's a date. I was X-tRemeLY happy and excited abt it. Then when it comes nearer to that 'day'... I was depressed and nervous all out of a sudden. I wasn't sure why. I don't even know why i make an effort to think of what i should wear or dress. I mean, it's totally different from what i normally do when meeting guys... o0h yeah! It was sort of my '"first or second date". Did i mentioned that when i go out with other guys even my ex were not dates at all.. It was like more to having lunch and time=killer?... Well, yeah! It was more of that... Silly! Anywayz, it was really out of my world kind of feeling and i just could not explain it.

On the date itself, I was enjoying myself that I've forgotten abt the timing. I wish the day never ends. I can't remember what we actually talked abt and we never did stopped. I know by the end of the day I'd cried. The day was so0 beautiful not of what i've imagined but similar. I've always wanted my first date to be at a rock concert and that first date can say it was some sort of a concert to0. N i also do want a date that we go to a movie, dinner and just watch a beautiful scenery of the ocean or be on a cruise and just talk abt it. Guess what? That was the second date (similar). I didn't know nor realise it until NOW. I wished that the day won't end very so0n but time just fly by... I had fun and enjoyed much. What left behind and keeps me wonder kills me inside.

I felt indescribable feeling that makes me feel depressed! I don't know what it is. All of a sudden, I lo0ked at potential guys as just guys. I mean, usually and normally girls who are single would dro0l over handsome guys like Chad Michael Murray or the guy in Prison Break! Ever since, i just don't have that dro0ling reaction... I have that lo0k when I saw a handsome guy! Honestly, i dro0l over Chad... I love Spiderman... But i'm speechless when i don't dro0l... What's happening to me?? o0h yeah!... I just realised, I ACCIDENTALLY fall in Love with him. With the guy that i only have two dates with and i shouldn't have fallen in love. I didn't want to fall in love but i did. He didn't know that I did. I mean, dates doesn't mean we're together. Dates are just getting to know someone more. Isn't it funny? Only two dates and i fell... Bullshit! I know...

Worst still, I don't know if he likes me but he may not like me the way i do towards him and it's even more of a reason for me not to fall in love or be in love with him. It hurts cause this happens to me before and it's the exact thing. I don't want this to happen twice but neither would i want to be hanging. Someone told me that if none of us make the first move, you'll never know.. Indirectly i did made the first move and the result wasn't of an ideal thing, so0 i've decided to move on... It's killing me cuz i can't let go0. The truth, i really really like him but neither would i want to be the one hand clapping. Y'know it's like you've finally fall in love but you just can't have it. I mean, why do bring 'it' to you if it's not meant for you? Why give it to you, then to0k it away from you just like that? It really hurts to just fail without seeing the possibility of passing. It really hurts.... It really hurts...

I didn't want to write this all in my blog but this is an opportunity for me to help those who's going through the same thing as me. When it comes to love, sacrifices should be made. It hurts... It always does... Hurt is go0d. You'll resist it when it happens in the future. It takes alot of courage for people like me to write this. It's a high possibility for the person (him) to read this. o0 well, at least he knows...

-> Love is indescribable

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:00 AM

Monday, January 22, 2007

What's done is done...

So0 much had been done in the past
Never let the past take over ur future at present
While time travle so fast
Don't let it all end....
Turn over a new leaf
Is the least someone would do to make life better
Another chance is all they need to prove themselves go0d
So0 lo0k around you, they might hv tried to reach u....
Someone have to be positive minded in order to be happy. A negative person can be a positive person if that person believe himself/herself to be positive minded. However, that someone needs a source to support him/her . Someone needs a source that can make him/her believe that he/she can do it. This is so as to bo0st their confident abt themselves...
Everyone is different... Unique by their own ways.. Don't let anything pull you down.. Everyone is special to everyone... Be strong when u feel like falling down.. Hang on to a lamp post if u hv to... Hang on to anything that u can reach.. Don't let go n drown, coz u'll regret for living behind what u might have own...Listen to ur heart even if ur mind says not to.. Ur heart is correct, ur mind is neutral however.. Be careful to judge which one is right...
Have strength in urself... Smile all the way... That'll keep u happy everyday.. :D

"Wat's dn is dn.. there's no nd 2 spk of the past." this was from my friendster under about me...

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:10 AM

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

so0 Jealous and OMG!

I'm getting bored with just colors of my font changing!! I want to upload my pics... So0 jealous with those of you who can upload the pics at ur blog. Argh!! Well, those who wanna see some of my latest pics will be at www.myspace.com/haimin and www.friendster.com/haimin... Erm!! I wish I can upload it here... Nevermind, as always I'll find a way out of this... hehe... o0h yeah, just to let you know I'm more frequent to myspace than friendster... So0 sometimes, I won't check my friendster... huaks..

Anywayz, go0d news for today... My class/course ends this friday!! Yey!!! Bad news, i HAVEN'T finish my THREE assignments!!!!! Argh!!! Not to mention have to study for the exam in May!! Serve me right!! Aiyo0o0... Tu lah org suruh belajar step Pr0cSaSTinAtiNG.. kan dah kelam kabut!!.. haha.. Well, n now im late for work AGAIN!! aiyah..

->Be Creative

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
4:23 PM

Monday, January 15, 2007

So0 Little Time, So0 much to do

Have you ever heard that song before? The lyric goes 'So0 little time so0 much to do, i rather spend my days with you, and when a day is not enough....' Well, it's really is fun to listen to this song... Fast beat and stylish.. hahaha.. Niways, there are so0 much things i'd like to do but so0 little time are given to me in this one LIFE. When will I have the chance to say/do everything before my time is up? When will I die? Why i'm talking abt dying now? At this point of time? Well, you can never predict death really. Who knows my time is up end of this year, month, week, day, hours or even in a moment after i'm writing this? It is so0 unpredictable that I jst wanna do everything and i mean EVERYTHING now!!

Some of the things I want to do are Sky diving, B.A.S.E Jumping, Travelling all around the World, showcase my talents and interests and well.. If i were to write everything, I don't think I have space. I want to say i'm sorry, I want to say I care, I want to say everything that I wish they knew all this while.. So0 much things I have to say, So0 much things i want to share... But will I be given the time??

I've made a mistake once that I wanted to tell my grandfather how fortunate I am to have him telling us his experience in life, caring and never divide his love. I want to tell him all of my achievements i've made in life. I want to tell him every single thing that have happened to me in life. I had all of this in mind when I was just abt 9 or 10 years old. I was abit shy to get along with my grandparents for some personal reason but I was building up my confidence and in the end when I had the chance, I let go and the next thing I knew, he's gone!.. In the morning of my birthday (Hari Raya Haji). I regret for not being open. I regret for getting my fear taking over me... Well, I will learn from my mistake and do what my insticnt tells me to do...

Life is so0 short that you can't see what's ahead of you. So0, just tell when your instict tells you to0. Just do it and do whatever is given... Is it to0 late? Is it to0 early? Who knows?

->Time is precious

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:50 PM

Friday, January 12, 2007

Words

extract from absolutelyric...

Smile an ever lasting smile
A smile can bring you near to me
Don't ever let me find you gone
'Cause that would bring a tear to me

* This world has lost its glory
Let's start a brand new story
Now my love
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say

** It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

Talk in ever lasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me
You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say

Absolute Lyrics

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
4:10 PM

No matter

No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not (I know I'm not)
I know I'll love, forever (I know)
I know no matter what
If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered(hear my prayers)
Then we would hear God say

[Chorus]

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm (no matter where)
No matter where it's barren (a dream)
A dream is being born

No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don't shine (the sun don't shine)
Or if the skies are blue (skies are blue)
No matter what the ending (my life)
My life began with you
I can't deny what I believe (what I believe)
I can't be what I'm not (I know I'm not)
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now, no matter what

No no matter that's all that matters to me

Absolute Lyrics

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:34 PM

I learn something today

I learn something today. Perception. Perception : We SeE ThiNgs NOT as theY aRe, bUt aS wE ArE ... hmm... I didn't really understand what my lecturer trying to say though. However, I'm taking the time and effort to0 know what it really means. For example, I enjoy listening to rock music and i totally dislike Techno. Why do i dislike Techno? B'cuz it's irritating and annoying. From here, it is my perception that Techno is irritating and annoying (see it as we are). What they (Techno) really are is another form of 'get away', 'move along' music. I'm just giving an example though. It may be accurate and it may not be. Verify with your masters...

Anywayz, it was all abt it. Management of emotions, What are my perceptions? Can I increase my perceptions and etc... Somehow, it just pops on by and makes me tickles. It's great to know everything and being flexible on just everything. Lately, i've been writing short blogs.. haha.. finally I hv short blogs eh people... huaks.. Well, i have to focus myself on doing the important and prioritising stuff first... More on me next entry..

-> Aware, conciousness, manage = make it happen

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
1:41 PM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'm Sorry

I jst wanna say sorry to GuMmIe BeaR . I know that i've said some frUstRatiNg words to you but I don't hate you. I love you and you are the best. You're just lo0king out for me when i'm d0Wn to the ground. My bad for not trying to understand you. I am at fault. "If u never try and u'll never know and Have faith" u are the encouraging one. I'm jst being negative (Ying). Thank You for your support. I've read an article and i think i've been to0 harsh on you. I should appreciate you and thank you.. Afterall you are part of me.. You are my Yang and I am your Ying.

Yep, i'm gummie bear. It's the other me. You peeps do talk to urself. Well, Gummie Bear is part of me. There are alot more to learn within yourself. Intrapersonal! KNowing urself is fun and you'll be surprise... One way of decrease the depression level, is to stop criticise yourself and instead be proud and ReSpeCt yourself. How are u gonna respect others if u do not respect yourself? I've learnt my lesson and i've disrespect the other part of me for being stubborn at the right time. I should thank her for having faith... :D Thank you, Haimin.. From now o0n i'll respect any decision thats made by myself.. ;)

-> Respect yourself if u want others to erspect u...

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:03 PM

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

to0 Depressing!

To0 depressing!! Wanna know why? Cuz of that GuMmiE BeaR caNdy floSs I don't understand why she's so0 stubborn and don't care abt anything but her feelings and instinct. She said, 'If u never try, u'll never know' o0o yeah! True! But if it's so0 obvious, why bother trying? Give up and jst go on!! Isn't it kind of lame? I mean, she's trying but keeps on whining at the same time?So0 RiDicuLouS !!! In other words, she've failed. So0 move on! But NO0o0o0... Her instinct said different thing... 'Have Faith!!" Yeah, right? I'm not being discouraging but if it involves another human being, it's better off to take whatever feelings or instincts away... You're just being prePosTeroUS !!! 0o Please... Move on!!!

u can call me bAckStabBer but i'm jst saying what I hv to say. Besides, i'm not talking abt anyone specificly. Sometimes, you hv to0 be VigiLant n Fix those things. In this world, there are alot of mystery and unexplained phenomenon in this world and life. It's all abt finding it and stepping into it. You'll never know what/who/which sitting next to you. You'll never know how it goes or where. All abt you want... ;D don't be scared, i'm not talking abt ghost or any other exclusive spo0ky stuff.... I'm talking abt as a person... U'll nvr know what lies between... Hv u ever asked urself,'do feelings hv feelings?' It may be silly to ask such questions... but hv u ever wondered? or how do words formed into words and has meaning to it? There's always a 'first'... First time, first person... bla bla bla... who's the first creates the languages? ... hmm... I think i'd better stop before i make all of you confused... o0h well... Life's is so0 beautiful but do u know the beauty?

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
12:12 AM

Sunday, January 7, 2007

A moment! Delicious...

I've been having this strange feeling. Mysterious feeling. I don't even know what. However, until the time unfold the truth, I'd say I'll let it be although it's KiLLiNg me every single moment but who knows what it may be...

Anywayz, people have been saying that i'm tense and stress from my body language or face expression and so0 on and so0, but i don't think so0. I am happy, excited and enjoying every single moment of my life. I won't deny that there are Ups and Downs in life. Nevertheless, Life has never been better :D... Then again, I wonder. Hmm... o0h well, today was o0hky. I'm jst a bit annoyed. Why? When i was doing upper gate, 'action' will be at the lower gates. When i'm doing at the lower gate, 'actions' will be at the upper gates... Argh! It's so0 boring that NOT s0o many guests/tourist pass by my gate today. In addition, i'm the Gate I/C... erm!! :S .. I must get used to it. I don't really like to be 'leader'... It sounds so0 scary... I remembered the times i was appointed to be the 'leader'... o0o0o I was really rough and made someone cried... erk! I didn't realise I was really that bad... I was told by a teacher that this isn't a Bo0t Camp !! Get it? Bo0t Camp! (I think i over do it... erk...) Since, i try not to get myself involve in anything that may have me be the lead. But now? Like it or not... I have to0... AAAAHHHH!!!... Can I unleash the power? Yikes! Anywayz, my lecturer mentioned 'there's always the first time' ... At least, that ease my mind.

After work I met with Kinah and we went to Vivocity. We sat at the ro0ftop facing the Sentosa. The sky was over-clouded. No Mo0n. No Stars... So0, we jst sat there in silence and have our mind flown away. The air is co0ling and there wasn't anyone at first so0 it's a bit peaceful. Abt 20 minutes, people jst stand by ourside and I felt like munching. So0 we went to 7-Eleven but it was already closed! 7-Eleven suppose to be until eleven but it's closed at 10pm... pufh! No choice, we jst walk on back and spotted Haagen Dasz Restaurant. I was lo0king at the poster and the ice cream is damn DeLiCiouS . The ice cream cone= Chocolate Cream Tree Sundae cost $9.90. I was like "o0hky", but Kinah was like asking me if i want so0 i said of course lah... I thought buy one then share... But instead she bought one for me n one for her... WAH!!! Thank You, Kinah!... The ice cream ingredients= Chocolate cream + strawberry ice cream + strwberry fruit +hot fudge + 2 chocolate sticks + cone... wah... very the Delicious!! I ate the green ice cream in the afterno0n and this ice cream at night... wah... Ice cream face!... huaks.. It was so0 delicious that I ate it very slowly and very... erm.... well, there's some ice cream around my outer mouth... huaks!!... Well, it's damn delicious!! Yeah, cuz it's free... huaks... No lah... But Thank you, Kinah!!... It was my first time eating an ice cream that cost that much. In addition, its Haagen Dasz!! Yummy Yum Yum!!... I'm not rich mah, so0 jankunlah sikit... huaks..

We to0k the west-bound mrt cuz it's already 11.30pm so0 I assumed we might have to rush to catch the north-south line. I decided to take the west-bound instead. The moment I stepped into the MRT, there's this faul smell of alcohol. It was quite awful but I jst ignored it... Moments later we heard someone was like calming someone else and I founf out that someone else was vomitting inside the cabin!!... What the heck!! He's a teenager and i think he's drunk! Yikes!! The whole cabin was very smelly and we couldn't take it and move on to the next cabin and be as far... It was really ugly!! At Jurong East, we spotted this guy. He lo0ks familiar but im not sure if it's him who i thought he'd be. Since i never wear my glasses I couldn't really figure out if it's him. When we sitted, from a far, he lo0ks like a GIRL! The way he sits and the way he held his hp. I was like, is it a he or a she to Kinah... Kinah wasn't sure either. So0, i to0k out my specs and see for myself. Confrm it's a he! But who knows if he's erm... the 'Lembut"... We ignored him and move on to our conversion. We were talking abt clothes and stuff... erm... Kinah got down at the marsiling and i at admiralty. To my surprise the guy whom i thought he is, is him!... huaks... Didn't really thought that he can lo0k like a girl.. huaks... o0h well...

That's today topics and I missed out something... I dressed pretty much with striking colours! I think for some, i'm the laughing stock. For others, who knows... huaks... Multi-Dimensional!!...

-> Let it flow, take it slow... ;D

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:35 AM

Saturday, January 6, 2007

I wanna be 'made'

I watched an episode of 'Made" or whatever it is at MTV. It's abt this teen girl that have been under the 'spell' of honour and family pride. She wanted to be open and be 'herself'. Therefore, she wanted to rap. Rap is an insult to women and it's a disgrace of her family 'tradition'. However, MTV made her and she have 6 weeks till the day she has to rap n perform infront of her classmates and scho0lmates in the hall. Everyone waas pretty amazed and expected of her failure.
She was no one, a freak and a geek in scho0l. Her peers never 'talk' to her as she has lunch alone. She don't want to be misundersto0d either. She called for help and here comes the help.

Summarise: She gone through alot of disaster and encountered bad stuff. She's been humiliated infront of everyone by some ChoCOlaTEY BaR . She to0k it professionally and knew that she has done the first step. Step in no matter what the result may turn out to be. Wonderful! She crossed her fear of rapping infront of everyone (she's a beginner). Totally climbed over the fences so0 high for her height. (ring a ding ding)... Interesting. Final day she pulled through and everyone was praising her.. From a freak/geek (whatever) to famous A'mous... fuyo0w!!.. thats really co0l

Determination and focus eh? C0ol... I wanna be made to0.. Can I can I? hmm.. Let's see whose gonna help me?.. o0h yeah! MYSELF... hehe... I'll be made.. ;D ,

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:15 AM

Friday, January 5, 2007

Alive by P.O.D

Everyday is a new day
I’m thankful for every breath I take
I won’t take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It’s beyond my control, sometimes it’s best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind
chorus:
I feel so alive for the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can’t hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I’ve seen you
I can never look away

[chorus]

[bridge:]
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I could never look away)
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I believe no matter what they say)

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:41 PM

Someday by Nickelback

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:40 PM

How you remind me by Nickelback

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
of what I really am
This is how you remind me
of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I'm mistaken for
handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Into the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head scream,
"Are we having fun yet?"

Yet? Yet? Yet? No, no.
Yet? Yet? Yet? No, no.

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
It must have been so bad
Cuz living with me must have
damn near killed you
And this is how you remind me
of what I really am
This is how you remind me of
what I really am

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:35 PM

How you remind me by Nickelback

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:35 PM

How you remind me by Nickelback

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:35 PM

Don't stay by Linkin Park

sometimes i
need to remember just to breathe
sometimes i
need you to stay away from me
sometimes i'm
in disbelief i didn't know
somehow i
need you to go
sometimes i
feel like i trusted you too well
sometimes i
just feel like screaming at myself
sometimes i'm
in disbelief i didn't know
somehow i
need to be alone

don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
what you were changing me into
[just give me myself back and]
don't stay
forget our memories
forget our possibilities
take all your faithlessness with you
[just give me myself back and]
don't stay

i don't need you anymore
i don't want to be ignored
i don't need one more day
of you wasting me away

with no apologies

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:32 PM

Come as you are by Nirvana

Come
As you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As an old enemy
Take your time
Hurry up
The Choice is your
Dont' be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As an old memoria
memoria
memoria
memoria

Come
Dowsed in mud
Soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend
A a friend
As an old memoria
memoria
memoria
memoria

And I swear
That I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun

memoria
memoria
memoria
memoria {don't have a gun}

And I swear
That I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun
No i don't have a gun

memoria
memoria

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:30 PM

Do you love me by Nirvana

You really like my limousine
You like the way the wheels roll
You like my seven inch leather heels
And goin' to all of the shows

But...
Do you love me?
Really love me?
Do you love me?

You like the credit cards and private planes
Money can really take you far
You like the hotels and fancy clothes
And the sound of electric guitars

You really like rock 'n' roll
All of the fame and the masquerade
You like the concerts and studios
And all the moeny honey that I make

Your backstage pass and black sunglasses
Make you look just like a queen
Even the fans they know your face
From all of the magazines

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:28 PM

Do you love me by Nirvana

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:28 PM

To0 little, to0 late by Jojo

[Verse 1]
Come with me
Stay the night
Just say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)

So let me go now
'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2]
I was young
And in love
I gave you everything
But it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)
Go find someone else
And letting you go
I'm loving myself
You got a problem
But don't come asking me for help
'Cause you know...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

[Bridge]
I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live
Ohhhh... mmm nooo
It's just too little too late
Yeaahhhh...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:21 PM

Crush by Mandy Moore

You know everything that I'm afraid of
You do everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you everybody loves you

I know I should tell you how I feel
I wish everyone would disappear
Every time time you call me I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say

Ooh I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

You know I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder could you ever think of me that way

Ooh I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

Ooh I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to nobody knows
I've got a crush on you
A crush on you I got a crush

You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you I will always love you
I've got a crush

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:17 PM

Two sides to every story by Five

Verse 1
Wanna Know About Me
Well It's The Way It's Got To Be
There's More You To Me Than What You See
On Tv Screens Is Make Believe
Think You Know About Us
Well It's An Element Of Trust
Come Talk To Me Respectfully
Cos These Days We're Public Property Yeah
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
From The Heart
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Like Us From The Start

Chorus
Because There's Two Sides To Every Story
You Think You Know Me
You Gotta Show Me
But It's Alright Don't Be Sorry
It's Just The Way I Am
It's Just The Way I Am
Because There's Two Sides To Every Story
You Think You Know Me
You Gotta Show Me
But I'm Telling You Once Again
You Gotta Go For Who I Am
I'm Telling You Once Again
You Gotta Go For Who I Am

Bridge
Yeah Yeah It's Alright
I'm Tellin' You
There's Two Sides
Yeah Yeah It's Alright
It's Just The Way I Am

Verse 2
Do You Care About Me
Or The Pictures That You See
Are We Just A Face
Without A Personality Yeah Yeah
Do You Care About Us
Or The Funkin' That We Bust
There's More To Us Than Magazines And
Dance Routines And Teenage Dreams Yeah
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alright From The Heart
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Like Us From The Start

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
3:14 PM

Let's see

I am bored and I'm browsing through songs and lyrics under absolutelyric.com. So0, i'm gonna share somethings aite... be prepared to see lots n lots of lyrics being out up for the next POSTS!

she can't hide no matter how hard she tries
her secret disguised behind the lies
and at night she crys away her pride
with eyes shut tight staring at her inside
all her friends know why she can't sleep at night
all her family asking is she alright
all she wants to do is get rid of this hell
well all she's got to do is stop kiddin herself
she can only fool herself for so long [x3]
are you too weak to face me?
(she can only fool herself)

[chorus]
i never know just why you run so far away far away from me [x2]

when it comes to how to live his life and can't be told
says he got everything under control
thinks he knows he's not a problem he's stuck with
but in reality it would be a problem to just quit
an addict and he can't hold the reigns
the pain is worse cause his friends have it the same
trys to slow down the problem he's got
but can't get off the carousel untill he makes it stop
he can only fool himself for so long [x3]
are you too weak to face me?
(he can only fool himself)

Carousel by Linkin Park.

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:59 PM

Lyric

I just want to share some lyrics with you. I come acros this song and it reminds me of a friend of mine who have trouble with her 'love life'. Just something to share with the rest of the other n all girls that would read this... Boys, this can be useful to0...

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by

Should I

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him
With the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's mean to be
All in time you'll see

I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

I'll

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Blind faith will lead love where it has to go

Never let him go

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:27 PM

Lyric

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
2:27 PM

Friends

Some friends, they just forget abt their friends and some friends they remember you for life. The reason why I'm writing abt this is because i came across a friend whom i was quite close with in primary scho0l and was disappointed when he totally forgot EVERYTHING that happened in that particular year. Nora and I approached this guy ('friend')and asked if he recognised us. In fact, he didn't... Hmph! But the funny part was when he said, 'It's pri _. How can I remember?' If i could drop on my knees and laugh rolling on the flo0r, I would've. I have other friends even way before we became friends ReMeMbeRs me even more than 5 years been apart. What a ChoCOlaTEY BaR ?! It's like the rest of the classmates remembers him and been talking abt him n others for that particular year but he? He totally ForGets all of us, trashes all of us. What a friend? Interesting, in fact. I wasn't pissed, in fact I can't stop laughing. How can a person be so0 close and just forgets? Someone mentions to me, 'when u misses that person after he/she has left the building, that person have made a great impact on ur life.' True enough to be used here. I'm sure 'choCOlaTEY BaR' succeeded to make an impact in each one of us in the class... Why? He was the 'ClowN" in that class... so0 sad that the 'Clown" had been brain-washed.hahaa... got that? Brain-Washed? Totally Spies..

Then there are friends that stick with you in times of go0d and in times of bad as well as in times of missing. Some friends change for certain measures. It is hard to cope with it at first but in time u'll understand urself. 'A true friend will be with you no matter what happens even if it hurts and disgrace that friend' . Then again, sometimes it is hard to believe why they have to change and leave the go0d past and make a bad future. To lo0k it on the surface, it IS difficult to analyse but to be part of them (be in their shoes), who knows what the reason may be. Multi-dimensional! We have our own opinion, and they have their own. Ours may not be the same with those of them so0 ReSpecT whatever they pursued. I always believe, stand by them and they'll stand by you. These kind of friends are hard to get and once you hv, don't ever let it go. Even so0, you just can't forget them because you know you owe them. So0 be grateful when you have these friends... ;)

Friends just friends... This is the starting of long lasting friends and before you know it, they're your best friends and became friends that will stick with you. haha.. Friends just friends can also mean strangers; i don't know you n you don't know me. Don't talk to me at certain places. Friends just friends can be foes; dangerous and may lead you to a deeper darkness of your life without you noticing it. Be careful when you say hi to someone and make friends with...

Lastly but not least, a friend that you can really rely on and asked for advice. The one that you can never apart even till death. Then again, that friend can be your worst nightmare and worst enemy. That friend is YouRsElf . Yep2! Do you ever think abt it? Do you even know yourself well enough and spend your time with yourself? o0h Well, that friend of urs is the hardest but the easiet to get along when you have what it takes. You can never feel alone when you're actually 'alone'. Having an intRaPers0naL in ur life cycle is quite important to0. It defines how you carry yourself. o0h yeah! Long listing eh...? Hmm...

-> Take it through...

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
1:13 PM

Annoyed

I am annoying, aren't i? I jst couldn't get along and it sucks me up. Pointlez in helping or trying hard to be in 'it'. Nothing can compare... I'm not jealous nor upset the light is black on me. I'm jst feeling uneasy. I'm co0l with everything but if one disagrees, better off not to invite. Faking it just doesn't go well with me cuz its easy to sense awkwardnez... Awkwardnez is bad news! Bad as in i won't enjoy and i'll get pretty much ugly. Besides, one of my friend mention something like, 'if you don't feel like having me around, I'll go0... It's pointlez in making each of us feeling disatisfied at the end of the day...' He's totally right! I know that you don't want me around or be part of 'it', u're just faking it b'cuz of the others n the others doesn't hv any problem with me... only you!.. Am i wrong? If i were wrong, you'd talk to me, lo0k me in the eye and share the fun... But no.. I'm jst left cluelez and blur... I pretend to be blur F.Y.I, cuz who am I to share the story with..

I hate to pretend. Pretend as if nothing bothers me. Pretend not to be 'ME'. Pretend that everything's o0hky but nothing is (in this case between you and me). No wonder i feel so0 disrupted. Didn't think this would've happened. Sarcastically saying to me as if i'm a primary scho0l kid. I do act childish and immature cuz that's my nature but that doesn't mean that i don't know anything. In other words, to think abt it... We're kind of the same cuz I think u're annoying n irritating, not funny and StRawBerry Cupcake . I think that u'd think i'm that way to0... What difference between us is u're a cheerleader that everyone love... Me? I'm jst a junk that everyone hates and doesn't want to be near. How upset could that be?? Life of a diminutive girl...

o0h well, who cares... I've encountered ChoCOlaTEY CupCakes like you before and I totally don't give a damn anymore. Tried to fit in but I jst can't. I'll survive.. Even if that'll cost something real special to me and to lo0se to you.. Congratulations! You've won the stage.

-> Lead your own life

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
1:56 AM

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Weepeee!!! Happy New Year!!

Hehe, Bo0 yah!! I might be late but still o0hky lah... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! may this year be a better year for all of you... Well, lo0k around you!!! Don't forget the ones that you NeVEr notices before... Hmm... I have this habit on putting to0 ManY 'dots' . o0hky... Let see....-->

I hvn't been updating since 31 dec afterno0n b'cuz i've been working straight days. Got back home late abt near to 1am and sleep abt 5am n wake up abt near to afterno0n and hv to be at work at arnd 3.30pm which means i hv to be gone from home abt 1.30pm or 2pm. So0, u can imagine how BuSY i am. Sorry for the late updating. I was online but I wasn't visiting my blog either cuz I was busy watching Bleach... hehehe... o0h yeah.... Anywayz, New Year's eve was quite a disappointement b'cuz we expected FireWorks at Vivocity but instead there's NoNE !!! How frustrating is that? Being deployed at Merlion Bus Stop twice was abit annoying and even more irritating when this firework thingy happens... hmm... O0h well, at least there were my colleagues. So0, at least i'm not alone... I can say that they were quite embarrassed when I screamed ,'HAPPY NEW YEAR!' out loud... huaks... well, peeps who knows me for i don't know how long should know how LoUd that is... N Zai n i ran inside the Vivocity ... (i reach the stop first... huaks!!!) hmmm... what else arr?? Then we all lepak for awhile n someone taught me how to drink carrot juice.. yummy... then thats the end of the night...

New year day itself, i got posted at Merlion Bus Stop AgAiN it was o0hky... same thing n stuff soo0 o0hky lah... Not so0 much arr. However, the fountain itself was not working!! What a new year to start with... There were aL0t of aNgrY and disatisfied audience/guests/visitors... I even heard someone saying, "i will write this in the Strait Times or something..." It was sad for the tourist though. Things happened...

Now the second day of new year, posted to Merlion Bus Stop as SuSpeCted again. (mmg muka bus stop arr... haiz...) There wasn't much though... But the mo0n was BeaUTifUL ... It's a full mo0n and i fell in love with it... Luckily i'm not a werewolf... HAHAHA... There isn't any much yesterday as I hv to get home as quickly as possible to sleep early... but as always, i sleep late... I jst can't sleep early mah!... haiz... o0h yeah.. I'm FAT!

I went to scho0l and i had great time as always... wish that i'd finish next year instead of this year... hmph... Anywayz, after calss as usual i'll be going to ComPuTer LaB to do some stuff and Nora called me to0 meet up... Which I did and end up being late for work... hahaha.. Meeting Nora is really fun.. Long time no see... huaks... It was a short one but i hope this sunday we all can meet up n hv fun at gas haus... Miss U all!!!! o0hky... back to my day, as usual we are catching things up n bla bla bla... N ended up at something really unsual...

"She smiles like tyrex!" Nora said.. I said,"Tyrex eh?" and Nora replied," Serious, you try and see how Tyrex Smile !!" Huh?? How can I find one Tyrex in this point of time leh??? hahaha... Don't tell me u're living in the stone age??... hehehe... well, yeah! that's what funny abt today.. hehe... o0hky, i'll update u tmr...

-> We can never step into a river twice

? a life to0 precious to ~~WASTE~~.
1:05 AM

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm going to sleep

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Knowing

I should've been more matured

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I enjoy this so0 much!! :D

Cheetahlicious

Saturday, January 27, 2007

RED!!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Arrgh!!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Better get my 'S' early

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Not a Mystery but Misery

It hurts

Monday, January 22, 2007

What's done is done...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

so0 Jealous and OMG!

Monday, January 15, 2007

So0 Little Time, So0 much to do

Friday, January 12, 2007

Words

No matter

I learn something today

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'm Sorry

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

to0 Depressing!

Sunday, January 7, 2007

A moment! Delicious...

Saturday, January 6, 2007

I wanna be 'made'

Friday, January 5, 2007

Alive by P.O.D

Someday by Nickelback

How you remind me by Nickelback

How you remind me by Nickelback

How you remind me by Nickelback

Don't stay by Linkin Park

Come as you are by Nirvana

Do you love me by Nirvana

Do you love me by Nirvana

To0 little, to0 late by Jojo

Crush by Mandy Moore

Two sides to every story by Five

Let's see

Lyric

Lyric

Friends

Annoyed

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Weepeee!!! Happy New Year!!

Welcome

ME, MYSELF & I

Forward

Throw

Going

Make Noise!!

Bondies

Archives

TunE iN

Credits