Saturday, March 31, 2007
Cuzzie and friends
I should have update what I have been doing, however, i didn't really update the exciting activities i've been doing for the past 1 week. 0ohky, it all starts when my cuzzie and I went to Vivo City to have sometime spent. When we met at the MRT sttn, I laughed my heads off. She was so0 tall and I should have wear my high heels. hahaha... Helo0, she's only 15!!! huaks... Then again, it makes me feel young and adorable though... hehehe....
Nevertheless, Mira didn't get to join us as there wre last minute thingy for her. Left Yanie and myself. So0 we went on to Vivo City and walk here and there. Had lunch at Seah Im (Nasi Ayam Penyet) and it was _______________..... I dont wish to eat there ever again. I would get other fo0d at other stall.
After that we sat at Vivo City outside the Page One Bo0kStore (my fav bo0kstore) opposite Sentosa. We can see the Ferry Terminal from there... (*bo0 ho0 ho0 g0odbye ferry terminal*) We to0k pictures of ourselves and lo0k... ---> [co0l eh?]......
She went home about 4 plus and I met up with Azizah and Rakinah. Mira and her boyfriend (Andre) were late so0 the rest of us went on around the Vivo City and had ourselves a time to enjoy the window shopping sessions. There after we met up with Mira and Andre at Beach Station for the preview of Songs of the Sea.
I was surprised when Andre kept hiding behind Mira. I feel so0 scary! Helo0, i'm not gonna eat you, Andre! He was so0 shy or probably embarrassed somehow. I was having doubts when Mira said that he can be very irritating and annoying sometimes. hmm... ANywayz, Nice Meeting you Andre. :D
We were supposed to catch Musical Fountain but were held back. End up we all went back home and had a go0d time resting. We should meet alot more, cuzzies and friendies... :D Miss ya all... Muacks..
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:40 AM
Thunder Storm
She was happy when she saw the guy and terribly broken when the other girl came. She knew how painful it's gonna be but that smile on her face was not being wiped off away. Crashing down, the lightning hits the ship. Sinking into the deep ocean. Tried as hard to swim and keep afloat but her leg was injured caused by the chaos. Heavy on her chest, she reminisce the past. Smile and let go of her fear. She sinking and sinking. She saw the mo0n and the stars blinking. She's thankful for what has been given.
A moment of happiness is a moment to last.
A moment of sadness is a moment to die.
A moment of live is a moment to breathe.
Sank into the bottom of the sea. She was still alive. She's drowning but she's keeping calm. Her eyes searched for something she could saved herself with. None was such of any help. She wished that she'd die as quickly as possible. To her surprise, a dolphin came swimming and brought her to the surface.Water flowed in her. Blocked her nostril and lungs were to0 heavy. She choked out the water when she came to the surface and start to breathe again. One soul saved her and she was greatful.
A lesson learnt; the sea was never alone nor dangerous to loiter around. At your worse, there will be Light to shine through.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:47 AM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Tagging Game
This is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. People who get tagged need to write in a blog entry of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to cho0se 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you've tagged them and to read your blog.
6 weird things about me?? hmm... Well, i'm not sure if i'm weird b'cuz i see myself as a unique person that is different from other humans' personalities. Anywayz, I do get alot of comments that i'm weird and mysterious as well as sometimes scary. hahah... I don't mind what comment i get as long as it's an honest opinion and it's just the way people sees me as. Nevertheless, this is what I know about myself for being weird.-->
1) I LOVE Carto0n Hunks and Fantasy Life. I can go on babbling about this 'fantasy life' of mine for hours and hours if no one stops me. hahaha... :P Of course, it's fake. It's just something to be entertained at some point. Then again, sometimes it can also be a starting of a new era...'just imagine if...'... o0h well, that depends on how you people judge it. For sure, it's jst an empty but creative imagination to past the time as fast.
2) When i'm totally bored. I mean, if i'm DEADLY BORED, I tend to do silly stuff like talking to myself or talk nonsenstical stuff (hey, that's a guitar. oh yeah, i've seen that...[krrrerkk krrrerkk]) and i might get pretty much insane and laugh out loud for nothing. Sometimes i would just make a very lame joke that is totally not funny and just laugh. However, if i were to have alot of things around me, I would multi-task when i'm bored. For example, i would just listen to the radio, read a bo0k, do my blog and chatting all at the same time. I'm not sure if that's weird but hmm..
3) I like to eat cold fo0d. Fresh from the refrigerator. Like, fried rice were kept in the fridge overnight and the next morning breakfast, i would just take it out and eat it right away. Frankly saying, it's tasty! ermmm... yummy yummy!! But i don't like to eat chocolate that is from the fridge. I like it melted. I will take it out and put it on a warm oven, the next thing i know it's gone. Eaten by my brother... haha... Talking abt fo0d. When going for chalet or bbq, I don't really like to eat the fo0d. I will only eat prawns n of course the chicken it's like a MUST to be at bbq... I don't really like to bbq. However, i do eat when the time comes. Usually i don't... huaks.. I would only go for the chips and chocolate or cake instead of the bbq fo0d.. huaks...
4) Movies! Cinemas! I love to go and watch movies at the cinema. ALONE! I enjoy watching and going to the cinema alone. Probably not only cinema but sometimes when i have the need to go somewhere, i would just go alone without even asking people to come along. I guess that's why I got the name 'Emo' by my friends... hahaha... Yikes!! However, the overall fee for the cinema thingy is quite expensive so0 not many of my friends would say yes if i were to ask them to accompany me either. Nevertheless, I just don't get it why it's a "thing" to go somewhere or do somethings ALONE...?? hmm...
5) I love to read alot of bo0ks. However, I haven't finish bo0ks that I have at home but I would go around the bo0kstore and read the bo0ks there. I also love to read fairy-tales and bedtime storybo0ks. I'm also the type that don't like to finish a bo0k in a day or so0 but I do really want to finish reading it. hahaha... I find it quite boring if i were to read the whole bo0k in one day cuz that would mean, i wld hv nothing to read the next day or the exciting story would end there. Y'know like episodes, u wished it finishes today but then there's another to l0ok forward the next week... yeah...
6) Last but not the least of course, I love to trash stuff. And do silly stuff when i'm all happy and excited. I would just jumpa around or run around the shopping centre and just be crazy to trash stuff but of course i didn't. If i were to given a chance to trash every thing in the shopping centre or any public place, I would!!! hahaha
o0hky... These are the things i find weird about myself. It may be weird, it may not be.. Either way it's of one's opinion... Since some of the peeps that i wanted to chose have been chosen by other readers... I shall chose --> Atikah, Shahirah, Tay, Yanie, Qin and Avie.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:14 PM
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Broken
There were two and became one. Then there were five. Grown ups became old. One hits the ground hard breaking one's heart. Then there were left with two and three. Two big thing separated and left another two heart thirst in sorrow of hollow air. Tears filled the world and burst out crashing, destroying things that were once beautiful. Emptied the one feels. Useless the other is. Money is not the case, Love is what it needs.
She cried, she laughs. What she feels no one knows? Fine and great are the words she said. Miserable and outcast is what really is. She wanted to scream! She wanted to live. She wanted to be emptied. To0 many pain, to0 many sufferings. Help! Help! Help! She screeched in a dark, void place. No response! No answer! Let it be! Let it be! She's done with it. If this is what it's going to be, then be it. It's not within her, it's not in her hand to decide. Holding herself she will go on. Pieces the big may be, she hv her own piece to take care of. Smile :D Have fun! Enjoy! Nothing can ever bring her down. She is not the girl most of those knows her years ago! She's gone through and she will go through more. She will get stronger and stronger and stronger every single day she survived....
Broken doesn't mean useless... Broken means Stronger!
--> Read between the lines... ;D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:34 PM
Friday, March 23, 2007
TMNT
Wuho0o0o!!! I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (alone)!!! Well, supposedly with my mom but we kind of late and so0 she has to go to work at 1500hrs. So0, i decided to watch it at Sun Plaza at 1740hrs. Kinah was to tag along to0 but she was unable though.
Let's talk abt the movie. I would say 3 and the half out of five stars. The animations was exciting however, i prefer to see Raphel features as it really shows how the turtles should lo0k like. Abit plum and body-build. Characters were average. I don't see the fun from Michael Angelo and the mischievious of him and also the KOWABANGGA(missing)! However, his stunts still there. As usual Raphel and Leonardo in some arguments and for Donatello, his intelligence still there. The storyline is quite co0l lifted from where it's left off.
From previously, Leonardo was sent to South Africa for training but failed and could not face his brothers or as a leader. Nevertheless, April told about what has happened when he's not around. Guess it to0k him a moment to think abt it and returned home. While he was away everything turns upside down. Raphel being the second brother and the protector take a step w/o hving anyone knows that he's the "night watcher". Donatello became an IT service operator at a company while Mickey-->entertainer and being the 'clown' at birthday parties where he got bashed up by the kids. Raphel was furious cause Leonardo wasn' there to lead them.
In every child, there's strength and weakness. You have to be strong for the weakness of your brothers.
Those are the words of Master Splinter to Raphel when he got really upset with the facts that Leonardo was being sent for training instead of him. Nevertheless, everything went on as it always is. Fighting scenes are numerous and I cried lots of times. Turtles are one and they are together. They are Brothers. :D
I bought Brother Bear. Yep2, my first time watching it and its cost just $8. I also bought a bo0k about fairy tales... That i will tell you later episodes... hehehe... Well, to0 many tears shed but my heart was being filled with love of them. Brother loves... Muacks!! I am overjoyed when my dad told me that Bob is recovering from his sickness and began to eat and put on weight! I am so0 happy!! I can't wait to meet him so0n. Been busy here and there and my off days aren't the same as my dad. However, i will come and see him with my mom. Hoping that he won't run away when my mom's around. (You are always in my heart, BOB)... My one and only Bob. My lovable brother... Muacks... Heart!!
--> Follow your heart and everything will fall into place :D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
9:36 PM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Haywired!
She broke the glass house into pieces. Claiming she didn't do it and blame for others for the caused. Bleeding from the heart of those who built, despise her like she's no other. Effected! They protested! One head agrees with her. Everything went upside down. Cracking the heads of the ones trying to get things right. Now, every one is further away like the broken pieces of glass. Could pieces of glass be glued back? Why bleed trying to put back the broken glass?
The weight of the whole world is on another's shoulder. She tried to make it as normal as she can. Things just started to fume and fire burning. Burnt every single memories down, turn it into ashes. Invisible of her deed. invisible of her heart screaming. She sees the sorrow, the hollow and the pain. She understands but she's the one who was being blamed. She's the blacksheep. She's the evil the go0d eye sees. No one sees her tears. No one hear her cries. The Wind, brought her to another place. A place she can feel Alive. The Sun, shines on her to give her light from the darkness. The Earth, makes her believe of her own World.
She is indeed happy with where she is. There are those who go through similar difficulties. They hear her cries, she hear their cries. They share but although she's in another place with similar fate-Rs but reality is she's at the same place. One ro0f with the ones that brought her down to the ground. Noise! Mess! UN-united! Creeps her out. Angst! Frustrations! Explosion! Bomb! She wants to blow up everything! Break every single thing she comes across. Juggernaut someone said. A character from X-Men. Better still, to be Rogue.
Eats everything while she can still take in. Once it's full, she'll let it go and that's when everything goes ugly and smelly that even chlorine can't wash it away. Space? She has plenty. Don't try to fit in to make it full.
Dead she feels everytime she comes across earthquake. Suffocating as volcano erupts. Drowned as tsunami strikes and washed off away the precious belongings of hers. Nevertheless, she sto0d up with a limping leg, crushed heart and a brain tangled with tied ropes. Frankenstein, she may be. But a soul of a human. A spirit of the Lion. The strength of a Cheetah to move on. She knew that everything happens for a reason. Patience she holds in her hand. Patience she awaits for the time to come for her to live on in another world. Patience is all it takes.
-->When the world comes down on you, lo0k up at the stars and imagine you're there. You will see how small the world really is... :D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
11:26 AM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Rain...
The rain sets free from the clouds. Wet everything it hits. He cried. She laughs. They dance. Those stumbled. Excuses they say that rain puts down their mo0d. Some says that rain is a do0r to freedom. What is rain to you?
Rain is a time to enjoy. A time to relax and a time to have fun. When it rains, they accompany my tears. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, just empty tears. Although rain is troublesome but I love the rain. Washes away the pain, purity. The feeling is so0 go0d that you have to try n be in the rain. Wet and cold it may be, but it's the best feeling ever. You will wish it never stops rain.
I've been in the rain almost all the time. I've been called 'CRAZY" by strangers when I walked alone in the heavy rain on my way home. I shared the times in the rain with my best friends, cousins, colleagues, strangers and myself apparently(at work). Rain have been the best times. However, at work... Rain... is the last thing i want it to happen. One, the raincoats are damn smelly. Two, guests would have higher demands... hmm... ahahah... Other than work, i would love it raining... hehehe...
Sleeping on rainy days would gaurantee you satisfaction... hehe... I don't usually sleep when it rains cause I love to watch the rain hits the ground and be in the rain itself. People might think i'm deprez etc but actually, when i'm in the rain it means that i'm happy. Like a child who likes to play with the puddle of water. :D sometimes it cracks me up when people lo0ked at me with 'the lo0k'... ahha... Duh! Don't keep one minded... haha...
--> Rain Rain please come here, I want to wash away the dirt... hehe
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
4:50 AM
Rose and Water
A rose laid on the ground
Fallen from the hands of a child
A girl walked pass and picked it up
How fortunate she feels to have found such a lovely rose
Had wished ealier and there it was waiting for her to pick it up
Brought home and put it in a vase
She would feel lucky if it were from her Prince Charming
Unfortunately, her Prince Charming has yet to come and kneel down
Hope and Faith, she holds
Fate will tell and everything's unfold....
I was damned bored from the start. I didn't bring along my bag so0 I have nothing to write, read or just do something. However, I have my Hp with me. There's camera and I to0k all sort of pictures. I to0k pix of myself, my shoes, the surrounding... anything... I think some of the peeps saw me and they go,'she's mad!' ahaha... o0h well, it's fun taking pix... ;) I'm learning and hopefully qualify to be a photographer... hehe... Kinah!! Help me arr!! :D
Today's work was quite fun as well as frustrating. Nevertheless, I am enjoying it with my colleagues. Thanks peeps!! At least, i wasn't half-dead while working... hehehe... You know, I know.. How i/we feels... ;D
I found a red rose on the flo0r and wished it was from somebody special. Who's that person? Erm... Well, I preferred a black rose. Maybe I should buy a rose once a month for myself. Just something for myself. I wonder if there's any black rose available. hmm.... That'll be nice...
o0h erm... I realised that I'm afraid of water. Well, it's not that I'm afraid of it. I like swimming and try new stuff but Water Sport kind of not really a prior to me. I would prefer dying not b'cuz of drowning. Then again, I wonder how it feels to be drowned and being saved the next moment. hmm... haha.... One more reason, i don't like to be tanned/dark. I've been tanned/dark for quite a long time. hahaha... hmm... But it won't hurt once in a while in the sun but not everytime lah... huaks
Do anyone know how to get involve in a camp? I mean, when we're in sch.. There's always camps here and there... But, do u know of any for an outsider? huaks... Like Outward Bound?! erk.. i just want to get involve in this stuff... Yeah, i know I don't like to get darker but then I've mentioned 'once in a while'... huaks..
---> Sometimes, you have to get out of the zone to go for the unknown... :D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:28 AM
Monday, March 19, 2007
Worth it?
In life, losing is the most unbearable thing that we all have to put up with. Putting our heads up high when we're losing the neck. We cried and cried. We suffer and suffocate to death. Something that eventually 'our life' has gone missing/left us unexpectedly, will make us extremely miserable that words could not even describe the way we feel. Depress is the common word we all use. Have you ever think why? Why depress when that something somewhat is moving on? Why depress when you have your own life to be dealing with? Why depress when HE is lo0king out for all of us in the world, wants us to be at our very best?
True enough to say that it hurts so bad that you can't stop yourself from crying. You can't do anything without the fact that something isn't around. You feel there's nothing to live for when all you live for is gone. Is it true that you live for only one thing in life? "Parting of loving someone is learning to let go." A phrase that somone told the world. Letting go isn't something that would define weak. However, it makes us stronger each time we learn how to let go and eventually let it go.
Taking time to heal with one goal in your heart. May it be any goal, time will tell. For example, you're taking time with one goal (moving on) in heart... You will move on eventually even it takes you nearly 10 years to get over it. You will see a different thing and realise how much you've wasted not to learn to let go at the first year of that 10 years to get over it. Think about it, is it worth to tear?
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
waiting outside there burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
[chorus]
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone
Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,
you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
waiting outside there burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
[chorus]
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care If you don't care then I don't care we're not going anywhere
http://www.absolutelyrics.com/lyrics/view/avril_lavigne/losing_grip/
-->Wake up and cheer up everyone!!!
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:11 PM
Her spirit standing still
She sits beside the tree lo0king up at the blue, orange red hues of sky. The aroma of the nature ease her pain. Heavy on her heart life weighs, lightly became as she smile. Closed her eyes, she breathe. White, pure and peaceful she feels. The song of the wind, the birds chirping, singing in her heart as though it's her stage. Clear as crystal the scenery is, forgotten every bit of bitterness that she feels. Moments later the sun will be swallowed by the night. Change the sky into darkness with sparkling lights. Only one round mo0n, so huge to be seen. So0 beautiful to be missed. How she feels, no one could understand. She wants to be here but there she lives in. Although doubts filled her mind, she knew that she will get what she finds. Confident, believe, determination she needs. Dreams and wishes, hope and faith she awakes. Nothing is impossibble, possible is everything. She's holding on with her smile when she's actually crying. Facing the fear, fighting the monster. She say,"I will not be defeated!" Empowered; she will fight until the day she die....
-->Don't give up!
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:57 AM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I will be strong
I've survived another day. I survived one more day and still breathing. I miss Bob so0 much. I tear everytime i think of him. I feel him every moment, think of him every second, loving him with every breath. I hope that he will be better. "I'm gonna meet you my dear Bob. I promise. " I kept forgetting that he's not here with me but he is in my heart. Sometimes without me realising, i searched for him at every corner that he once used to hide and waiting for me to search for him. I miss the touch of him... I miss everything! Incomplete I feel without him. It's like whenever he's arnd i would go on n disturb him while h'es sleeping or just be beside him n be close to him... when he's not here, it's like there's something i should do0... but there's actually nothing... Haiz...
You are being missed
I know how it feels
I try to tell but they never listen and neither do you
You sacrifice and we both suffers
Now we struggle to keep our heads up high without each other's support
I live in fear when u live in coldness
My heart's broken
Nothing can mend it
You are my one and only one
How can I find another to replace you?
I want a brother, I received all of it
A companion, a brother, a friend, a father and a soul that will always be there
You leave even when you didn't want to
A heavy heart you feel cause you know how hurt I feel
Although I smile, although I laugh
Tears still flows down in me
I hide it cause I don't want any misery
I lo0se it when i saw the emptiness in me
I miss you lots... I'm missing you so0 much
I pray for you, I pray for your health
Lo0sing you, lo0sing my heart
The most beautiful weather is incomplete without you
Knowing you will be there in my heart
Push the strength in me
Thinking abt why u left, hurts me back
Can I bring you back?
Can I bring you home with me?
I lied that I can endure
You know the truth
You lo0ked straight into my eyes when there's tears
Those stare made me strong
Make me believe that you believe that we believe
I love you
I miss you
I will be strong for you....
--> You will always be missed
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:57 AM
Saturday, March 17, 2007
My ro0m, problem face?
Time fly by so0 fast that I didn't know it's going to be April so0n. People been asking me what I want to do after May. Honestly, I have not much of big plans but having Huge dreams and just following the little steps that im going to go. Like i always say, Start low ... Life is to0 short to eventually spend time with everything and at anything we want. They say, Time is money ... True! But for me... Time is love ..
Put it this way, you spend so0 little time at home when you're scho0ling and working... Your presence will be missed by those who've been around for you. When you neglected time, you neglected love from those who've fed you and gave you the support. Got what I mean? Well, it doesn't matter anyway. This is just my opinion. This is my words and my phrase... hehe...
Well, today my 'new bed' will be here. Yepeee!!!.... Panda Eyes, Aching Back and Headaching = Go0dbye!!!... hahaha... My ro0m is actually the Balcony. I want my own ro0m and finally I have it. However, I must have a nightlight for some reason. I may have fallen into a very deep2 sleep but if anyone switched off the light, the sweet dream will turn into nightmare immediately. It's not that i'm scared in the dark. I love darkness, i do want to switch all of the lights and just sleep. Then again, some place are better to be lit up. :D hmm... However, i'm not sure if my new bed would let me fall into a very deep sleep even when the ro0m goes dark or the creepynez beside me... I hope it will... hahaha....
I've taken some pic from the old lo0k and I will take some pic on the new lo0k later. I won't show any of it now.. I will show it until everything's finished and i'm satisfied with it... haha... :D My mom's plan and my plan to make the ro0m is totally different. She has that neat and girly kind of concept while me... Messy but neat, unique and different concept... Totally crossed over each other. For now, i will go with her style... Later, I'll have mine... Then she will be quite furious though... haha... Hey, we always change the lo0ks of our home... :D She always does... Sometimes, once a week... To think abt it, she wouldn't mind... hehehe...
I'd say, in our house we can never buy something that can be permanent. We're the kinds that like to0 have different kind of lo0ks. I mean, even if it's an old lo0k but add or minus of somethings can be a new lo0k. We have the minds of managing, sustaining and re-developing the lo0ks of our home... However, we would disagree with each other alot cuz she has different taste and so0 do I... Personally, I don't like flowers and lots os them to be hainging here and there.. She loves it.. She loves vases and flowers... I don't like carpets to be put all over the flo0r... If can none at all... She loves it! Come to my house... You can only see quite little space of the flo0r itself..... Hahaha... This time, i told her not to put carpet in my ro0m.. If can put a small one or alternatively, put rubber under the fo0t of the bed to avoid scratches on the wo0den flo0r. Hey, i've finally have my own ro0m althogh it wouldn't be like the one i've imagined but at least, my own ro0m, my own bed is quite enough for me. Disadvantage, i can't hang my fav star poster.. Then again, I can hang my own poster... huaks.. That if i hv any... huaks... I can make one.. huaks.. o0hky... S0o far, that's the updated one... ;D
--> New ro0m!
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:18 PM
Friday, March 16, 2007
Beauty of a Life
The girl once had a story about her. She left behind by those who don't understand. She sticks her heads up high but failed everytime she sees herself. Disgrace and dishoror she feels, she regret of what had been done. Only HE knows how she feels inside. Begin to hate, begin to kill. Her life was full of blo0d and pain. Living in despair and emptiness, she cried and suffers. Thirst for something she've lost, bucket of iron she ate. Her heart was harden and her smile were wiped off.
She hates to behave in such an awful and demoralising way of life. She sees the eyes of a child and begin to wonder of her responsibility and a role model as an adult. She changed and lo0ked around to the world. She began to see the colours of the green grass, blue sky and the earth she stands on which she have lost when she stayed in a 4-wall. The smile on the faces which she never notices before. Song of the laughter that she was deaf to listen to and the music of the wind was being heard once again. Happiness filled her heart and once again she brings some light to herself.
Her past was thrown and she push herself an extra mile. She lo0ked at the mirror and found somethings that she never find before. She don't care about those who left her. What she has, is what she will have for the rest of her life. What goes but stays in her. Be it go0d, be it bad. She's blessed for what is given by HIM. Happiness is the best revenge.
Family her pride and honor. Friends her bo0k of knowledge and bo0ster. Smile and Laughter are her mighty colours. Threw what makes her cry in despair and keeps the one that makes her cry with a smile. Light as a feather she feels. Always smells the aroma of the nature. Only HE knows how she feels.
Suddenly one day she stumbled and fell. A man appeared and she was stunned for a moment. She never thought she could find one like him but she did and she was speechless for a moment. She pinched herself to wake her up from her dream. Dream that she can never wake up from. The broken pieces were left untouched but were mended so sudden without her knowing. So0 long it has been since she has forgotten. So0 long it has been since she suffers.
Blinded by the fact that when she fell, she was hurt. The wound was invisible. She felt the pain and it drives her crazy. She seek for a specialist and found herself with one huge wound that were left unseen. She tried to acknowledge the man who have caused it. However, he was twisted by the facts that was given and left her behind unknowingly. She knew that he would said sorry for the caused and would left her unhealed. Decided to keep silent and smiles everytime the pain comes to her.
Tears began to re-appear. For once, she feels wonderful to pain. She is grateful with the suffering she's encountering. Fortunate with the despair and emptiness she is feeling. Everything was as blessed as ever. With the extra pain she feels incomplete but complete with everything she has. Thankful for what is given and she couldn't have asked for more. Dreamland she may have lived, Dreamland she is living.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
4:50 AM
24hrs awake
Can you believe that I actually achieved not to sleep 24 hours when I have to sleep regularly? Well, the day begins with Guided Tour Training and it requires us to reach at 10am and i have to live the house at 7.30am. So0, i woke up at 5.30am. Went for the guided tour training. It was co0l and had fun. Can't wait for another section. It was so0 interesting that I almost forgot what i was doing there. I thought I was a student. huaks!! I just got to know that Underwater World has a fo0d court. Anywayz, Subatra and I went on to continue to work at MF. Freaking tired! Here comes CHUNG, the BIG BULLY and Firdaus, the FATHER OF ALL BULLIES... Bullying me!! Argh!! hahaha... I'm co0l with it. Not strez! BUT fruz only.. huaks... Hey, w/o them no fun... With them... Disaster!! huaks... After work we went for dinner and heads off home.
While in the MRT, i was taking a nap and my mother called me asking if i want to go to KTV Party World with Kak Comel. I was like, of course. They asked me to wait at Far East Plaza, unfortunately the MRT service to Marina Bay has ended and only stops at Toa Payoh. So0 we meet at Toa Payoh instead. I didn't know the place is so0 grand than Kbox... However, it was quite interesting and we sing all the way till 5am in the morning. I'd say that my mom do enjoy herself and i can see how 'crazy' she was... haha... I wasn't much crazy though... haha... By the time we got home, it's like 6am. haha... I wonder how long i can not to sleep? hmm... Maybe one time i will try to last not to sleep more than 24hrs... Fuyo0w.... Panda Eyes!! huaks
I went for S.O.S and it was great.. "I find it co0l!!!.. Personal opinion, i think it captured the attention of the audience and make the audience want to particapate along... the songs also known n easy to sing along... the effects was awesome... cuma storyline dier tu abit kelakar arr.... mcm tkde motive... but i guess worth of $6 to exclude the motive of the storyline... huaks..." this is just my opinion, not sure abt the rest... huaks... But better catch it so0ner or later... :D
Hmm... o0h yeah, I came across a bo0k talking abt faces and photography. I was amused abt it. It makes me feel like i want to take a photo of my ugliest face... huaks.. I mean, it says that nothing in this world is ugly and stuff... Pretty co0l! Appreciate everything that you see. :D And so0, i to0k some pix abt my event of everyday lives.. only some... hehehe...
-->Memories are hard to captured in mind but never been forgotten :D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:19 AM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Her pain
Betrayed by the facts, she feel so0 wind up. She's depressed, she's confused and she's waiting for an answer. Seeking help from those higher from her, she seems to disagree with every thing but then again, it's the facts. In her heart, she wanted to turn back time and wish that she never come to this stage. Her eyes were blinded and her heart was to0 soft. She can't but she has to force herself. Everyone around her says the truth. If she has the power to lock the truth inside a safe, she would have. She's weak and she's stumbled. She needs help but she feels that the help she seek, weren't for her at all. However, the truth-->The help she gets, are those she needs.
The girl who sat down quietly listening to them, opens her mouth to speak her personal opinions. Everything became to0 tough to handle for her now. A girl who's younger than her began to talk and of what she speaks are real and logical. She came to a conclusion that she has to make the decision. She has to be strong. She has to move on. Then again, questions start to wonder around and she began to feel the weakness taking over.
Hurt and pain she feels. Love and concern she craves. Her children faces kept playing in her mind. She knew that her children will lo0se their father so0n. How would they feel? How would they survive? Would they understand? Would they become what she was? Would she survive to see them cry and talks abt their father?What the future holds, is unknown.
The day ends when the girl stops talking. The girl was feeling quite despise by the facts that the problem woman has, are problems with man. Fear of falling surrounds her. What would she do? Will she be the same?---> (She will not! She's not anyone else! She's She! She will hold her Pride up high to help others who needs it. ) What's happening around her are lessons to be learnt. Open eyes! Things happen for a reason...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:55 AM
Depre(zZ)!
It tickles me when everyone lo0ked at me and say, 'Cheer up! Don't just let a guy puts ur mo0d to zero...' hahah... Yeah, I might have unsuccessful past relationships but I'm not bothered by it or depress thinking abt it. I am not depress. Depress = ZzzZzz... o0hky yeah, i do get deprez at times but nothing major. However, today almost EVERYONE said that i lo0k tensed and deprez... HUH? For what reason? Let's see....
One said that we started to talk abt past relationships and i jst had quite an overturn. hmm... Is it? Well, probably you peeps would think that I am still in the past which totally wrong. I am in the present and i'm thinking abt the seconds and the future. However, what i'm thinking abt are just unrelated stuff. One minute, I'm thinking abt what life has to offer for me in the future? Another minute, I would be thinking, what time my mom's gonna get home? Another minute, I would gaze up the sky and ask how many stars will be seen tonight? Actually, these are some of the thoughts that i had. Suddenly, someone came up to me and asked,'What's wrong? You lo0k depress. Don't be tense!' I was like, huh? what? (????) Really!! I was clueless indeed. Suspected it's abt relationship or just having a thought of the relations. I was speechless and tried to talk it out but failed to0 cuz they say that I lo0k deprez... hahaha... Guess that I should have enough sleep. Depress = Depre(ZzzZ) hahaha...
Well, to clear the air. I am not depress of any such. I am a happy girl, things been great and I am blessed that I've survived another day every single day. Enthusiastic about lots of things coming up and the mystery of life itself. Glad to be wherever I am and things happens for a reason. When i am quiet, doesn't mean that I am under stress. Sometimes, i have nothing to say and I would just like to listen. Sometimes, I just like to lo0k around and find the slightest unnotice things/creature/material.. etc... Another thing, when it comes to extra-energetic = crazy!!...hahaha...
I do need to sleep more right?... hahaha... I'm trying to get some sleep nowadays. However, my new bed will be coming so0n so i would have time for my beauty sleep. wo0w can't wait.. hehe... I'm excited!!!... ehehe...
---> Someone told me,'Drink lots of milk and smile more + laugh' .... hmm... Maybe I should have follow that method eh?... haha... o0h yeah, i do lo0k kind of deprez in the pic on the previous post... huaks... gosh!! Well, life is full of surprises to be depress abt?
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:55 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Yesterday
Supposed to go Orchard with Amira and Yanie but eventually it was being cancelled. Quite upsetting indeed. Anywayz, I sent Haizel back to his grandmother house. It was tough coz he doesn't want to go back. He wants to stay around. Since my dad's home, i let him have some time to play with my dad. Then it's about time that I have to send him. So0 we go on and meet my mom at her workplace KFC Admiralty to have lunch. After that, we got on to the MRT. Everyone was like lo0king at me with the lo0k... Yeah, probably they may think that i'm a mom who doesn't want to grow up with how i drez like as if i'm going for a punk/rock gig. Like what i've said in somewhat post i had written, i am not a mother! I'm an aunt.. A young aunt indeed. hahaha... It was a heart melting moment when he doesn't want to go to his grandparents and hide behind me. Haiz... Haizel... I love you :D
It was early to go for the Staff Meeting so0 I just went to Vivocity instead and find myself something to enjoy. There I went on walking. I walked into Giant and try to find some inspiration. I went to the bed section. I was finding black cover for the mattress. I never find any. Damn! However, I had laid out a plan for the new lo0k my ro0m's gonna have. As i go around the departments, i found something new. Interesting!! I found this Enzer radio and it's like about $100 plus or lower, i can't remember. I should have brought along my writting materials. It's black in colour. There's FM and Cd player. The size is just nice. I feel like buying it so0n before the stock gone none. Gosh! Then again, I think that it might by the time i have enough money in my pocket. I have lots to buy. hahaha....
After going for the rounds, I went to One Page the bo0kstore. I go around and the interior design itself was really co0l. I am amused indeed. My first time stepping into the store. You peeps do know I LOVE to read. So0, i spent the time in there quite sometime. I found alot of stuff that I've longed to have. At the back of my mind, i was like... I should hang more here and keep cash available... huaks... The price is quite ehem... I read one bo0k about friendship that gives me tickle,tears and happiness (Friends to the End). I feel fortunate to have friends that stay with me still. Even when everything goes wrong and dark. Friends who tried to help when suddenly I kill them silently. Friends who I might be blind to see their existence. I am fortunate to have all of you peeps as part of my life. Hurt we feel, joy we have fun. Thank you for being part of my life. To0 many to thank each one of you. :D Muacks!!
I went up to the Sky Garden and to0k some of the pix. The Sky Garden began to be a new picnic area for alot of families and friends. There were kids playing in the po0l and friends sitting and chatting and some were just enjoying the breeze. Define happiness and peace. I wonder what are their thoughts about Life. When I saw the children splashing the water, i wonder if they knew? I want to be the birds who fly with freedom. I want to be with those kids having fun and feeling no fear of anything but monster and ghost. I want to be childish for a moment. Well, I am childish. hahaha... Hey, I am matured but not to0 matured. hehehe... :P
Met up with Subatra and went to Staff Meeting. Before that went on to meet the peeps who's working at the Musical Fountain. The Staff Meeting was just an hour and it was a short update for us. There were star moment and best zapps etc... Interesting! Reminds me of secondary scho0l. Award winning for best cleaniness class (i don't think we got that)... But we make a real effort for the project we had about GERMANY!! hahahaha.... That's the time that I was being welcome back by you peeps... It's really a great moment for me... :D
Had dinner and someone asked 'One roti canai'... I was what?? hahaha... Damn! I'm not a waitress o0hky.. Anywayz, I met up with my mom and my cuz at Civic Center. They're late and I'm left waiting alone. We're supposed to go to KTV but it's closed and we went on to sit around and talk. I thought there would be midnight movies. So0 we went up and check out. It was dark and go0sebumps were felt. I was trying to be brave and think of nothing... Then both my mom and my cuz made me scared!
So0 we went on sitting at the wo0dlands titanic (thats what they called it). There were some skaters skating there and lepaks. We joined them and start talking. Well, I was just listening. I have not much of comments to make until the end. hahaha... Well, there's and exciting news for me. A piece of advice were given to me, 'If you want to search for a boyfriend, find those who are much older and his maturity abt life is vry clear and high' ... Hmm... hahaha.. I'll take note of that.
It was 3am and we went back home to off the lights. I sleep soundly i think until the tv was on. hahaha... Erm... Well, I can't really update much cuz I have to finish the house chores... hahaha... I will keep updates about my daily lives + some stuff that I have opinions on.. haha... Just a personal opinion... :D
-->> Love? Complicated...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:21 PM
Monday, March 12, 2007
Someone
She waited for the bus to arrive. Hours and hours but no sign of any bus passes by. Is she on the right lane? Yes, she is. She is on the right lane but no one was there with her waiting for the similar bus. She lo0ked to the left, she lo0ked to the right. Long way road leading her to somewhere she ought to go. One part is dark and the other is darker. No vehicle passes by, she didn't know how she's going to reach her destination. It is a very long distant from what she sees. No shelter, no ro0f.
The Sun heats the atmosphere.She has no umbrella or what so ever. The Mo0n rises, the breeze freeze the moment. She has no windbreaker. She knew she have to make a decision in order to reach her destination in time. She knew what she has to do0. She to0k one last lo0k at the other end of the road that she came from and bring her feet forward and start walking.
The heat becomes hotter and hotter. She couldn't stand but she can't go back. She pray and pray and pray that she will reach there one day. She pray for safety, she pray for strength, she pray for everything necessary to have her legs moving on. The coldness makes her weak. Pain she feels but she gets the warm from within. "I'm Strong!" She said to herself. She is moving on...
Far she came, she will not stop... She keeps going on and learn to adapt in every obstacle she comes across. She will not rest and give up until she is at the end of the road. Her spirit keeps her moving. Her dignity, her respect for herself, her dreams, her determination--keeps her alive!
She has yet to reach the end of the road... :D
-->> Keep your heads up high, when everything comes down to the earth...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:27 PM
High and Low
(the sky is way up high... Do u see the bird? Flying towards it despite everything around.. As though the world lives only the sky and the it)
Saturday was supposed to be the day that I went out with the peeps. However, everyone was having trouble dealing with 'the family'. For my case, I have Haizel at home and it was such a difficult moment for me. Mom was like saying, 'it's not always that Haizel's here. Why bother go out with ur friends when Haizel's here...' Ouch! It does hurt me. I had this plan lined up. The next time, I will allowed or say in advance that I have plans on a particular day. If she wants to have Haizel home than she may but don't ask me to change my plan unless it is changeable.
First stop, we went to Chong Pang and sent the invitation card to my aunt. I was quite surprised .. no... I was Astonished by the way my niece lo0ked. She's only 14 years old and she has crossed over my fashion sense.. I mean, my feminine sense... My fashion sense is quite abnormal. Well, it to0k awhile for me to gain back my conciousness. I just couldn't believe how much she've grown. I have to admit, it does make me feel young. For a moment, i did asked myself when will i grow up and be feminine?... huaks.. Well, I don't want to be somebody i'm not. I'm glad that I am just the way I am.. ;D
We walked all the way to the MRT sttn and off to Bukit Batok to meet up with my dad. There after we went to Jurong West for the wedding invitation from my mom's side. It was fun to meet up with the relatives. Some jokes, some story. People doesn't recognise me. Kind of funny. They would stare at me and keep thinking,'who are u?' hahha... Some do recognise and was abit feeling weird seeing me. Like i've said abt my fashion sense. :D
It was quite a day but I feel wasted at some point. In addition, i was feeling kind of low. My mom wanted me to join and used Haizel as the bait which really pisses me off. Then again, it's over so0 I don't really mind that much. It was fun and I was being called the 'MOM'.. I was embarrassed when people called me the mother of Haizel cause i was not the one managing Haizel and it gives the impression i'm just the same as typical teenagers that doesn't know how to take care of her own child. My goal, when i have a child/ children. I want me and my husband to take care, manage and discipline them. I want us (my husband and me) to be the one. I want my parents to enjoy, spending time with them. Giving them love and moral support my children needs. So0, i'm the aunt. The young aunt to Haizel n my other nephews and nieces that I have (that to0 many names to mentioned)... :D
We got back home at 3am. Haizel went to bed with me and when I woke up, he's in my mom's bedro0m. We have to wake up early at 8.30am as we're heading to JB for my dentist appointment. I was quite pissed when we're late and it was freaking warm. I had troubled cho0sing which outfit to wear, in the end, i wear the black dress. I wasn't really in much mo0d but it's manageable. Arriving at JB custom, it was damn packed. We turned back with the sun up above the sky on top of us. Heat transmit and im perspiring. Freaking Warm!... We managed to get to the mrt and get to my aunt's wedding.
Met up with my other nephews... They called me, 'Pendek'... Naughty peeps... hahah... Met up with my cussies and everyone. I was quite uncomfortable as people have the lo0k. Most of them totally don't recognise me. How upset it was... Get together with my cuzzie and went to the Mac just upfront. I saw someone that I know. I knew it's her. I jumped up and hugged her. Azizah was there doing her project with her classmates. Flashes of 5S2... huaks... I remembered the times in class... I miss bullying her! o0psy!! Neh, I miss her company in class. I miss those times when she's so0 kancong and blur and hard-working and encouraged me to finish fast. She wanted to see Haizel, but i was to0 tired to take him along and as well that when Haizel met up with his grandparents.. don't even lo0k at our faces.. huaks... I left MsZiza to do her work and continued talking to my cuzzie...
(From top, Haimin, Amira and Yanie)
Not long, MsZiza went back to her fwens house. Left us... We to0k pictures quite ALOT. It's really funny and co0l. Not to mentione nice. hehehe... I will upload some of it here... hehehe... I miss you girls. Next time, when we disccuss about chilling out, make sure we finish it. hahaha... Again, among them I feel so0 young. I'm the eldest but the shortest and the youngest is the tallest. I'm more go0fier than them i think. Hahaha... which makes me seems like childish. Then again, there are times to be serious and times to be childish. :D
(Syiok sendiri)
That's about my day over this weekend. My reflection= I feel cast away, when I arrived at the wedding of my aunt. The problem was way from years ago among parents, however, children are the victims of it all. Without these two, Amira and Yanie, I would feel so0 lost and lonely while being in my own family. I don't know why. However, some people would feel like u're the son/daughter of bla bla bla, i shall dislike u to0... Some, jst didn't want rumours or beign casted to0. o0h well, Thanks Yanie and Amira for being there for me in the family matters. Children would make me smile and walk n play n talk, but won't really get the boredom out or frustration. I do want to go yesterday (if there weren't really anything) but there's no invitation, so0 I didn't have the guts to show my face. I do want to help, but no one told me to0 or ask of me which I don't think I should. I don't want to be someone who's trying to fit in. I don't care if I am a cast away, I know i'll survive. Sometimes, I just wonder if Grandpa's still alive. Then again, I feel glad that I came as I can meet with my two lovely cuzzies and all the children that I want to see. I may not have much to say but I'm glad that some do talk n smile to me... :D
We shall take more pix... :D
(the three of us)
--> Family :D smile...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:31 AM
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Whispers and Voices
Every night i heard them talking. Whisper and laughing. Voices of the unknown, mix of the sexes. Is it my imagination or is it real like the blo0d flow from in my veins? I thought i've gone mad. I thought I've gone crazy. I thought it all just my mind playing games with me. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't see it. All i can is hear it all saying, laughing and commanding to me, to them to whoever they are talking to0.
Sometimes it to0k me really deep that I can't bare to hold on. Feels like my head is exploding! Once in a while shadows walking pass, strands of hair reflects beside me. Spo0k me to death sometimes. If i were to go to bed early, even worse than it's already is. Trouble with sleeping? Force myself to sleep is not a go0d idea. The silence will make them even more visible to my ears. I do have the urge to take sleeping pills. Then again, waste of my money. Besides, from my own research, I find pills uneffective.
When I closed my eyes, i heard them walking beside me through and fro. The weight is as twice as much of a human weight. Pretty scary eh?! I don't know what it is. As far as I know, they are just distracting me. They are afraid of Allah and I am to0. Similar to us, Human. Scary they may seem but be brave. I will survive... :D
This is Subatra. She is one SCARY person... hehehe... She has the eyes of a monster... eheh.. NEh, joking... She's co0l but she can be scary to0... hahaha... :P o0psy!!
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:53 PM
300 is the number, 300 is to be proud of
I should have updated abt yesterday, yesterday itself. However, I didn't for one reason it was late at night and (o0hky, thats not a reason) Haizel is here. He's waiting for me to come home from work just as to play and put him to sleep. Yep2! My lovely nephew is here. When he's around, sometimes my long time plan might be postponed. Like today, I should be going somewhere but instead I will be going out with my mom. It's not confirmed yet, I'm waiting for Kinah's answer before 3pm. Now is 12:45 hrs... hehehe...
That's just the reason why i didn't update this yesterday. o0- kay... Kinah and I went to Vivocity at 11am just to catch 12:30hrs show. 300 was the movie we were after. We were so0 excited and couldn't wait to watch the movie. The effects from the trailer was damn SYIOK! hehe...
As you know, it's M18 and I had lost my i/c few weeks ago. I have no other documents with me except the receipt of the replacement of the new i/c. The girl told me that I need a document with my pic and particulars. That thing just consist of the particulars. o0h well... Without document, we weren't be able to go in.. I was like what??? I want to watch 300... Nevertheless, i jst gave her that receipt and she was approved of it... What a freaking relieve! We bought the 13:15hrs tix... We went to mac for a munch then off to the movie... Kinah gave me this tissue flower.. Thanks Kinah!! Do more of it for me... Thank you!!... hehehe... No, i wanna learn how to do it... Teach me!!!
I will have this excitement about going cinema. I will be so0 anxious to watch the movie that has yet to be appeared right infront of my eyes. In addition, it was cold. So0 the movie started....--->
With a story-teller it started and so0 o0n goes to the past which was then bring back to the present, back to the past and suddenly it all ended with the present... hahaa... I believe so0 for those who doesn't understand Lord Of The Ring, Harry Potter, Troy, Alexander - don't bother to watch 300 or Pathfinder... hehhe...
It's about war! A war that were against the Law. A war that the King fought with pride, honour and justice. 'What would a free man do?Trust your reason', that's what the Queen mentioned. Without hesitation, King knew what he should do. A handful of men went forward to serve the King. 300 was the number that were brought to battlefield. Politician against the idea. King cares for lives to live, country to rule rightfully, rights for the people to be an individual as he's the King, the Father, the Brother, the Son and the elderly. 300 men without fear, with courage, determination, pride and love went on to the battlefield.
A few more came to support. The head were disgusted by how many men were going for the war. The king asked what's their(the other group) profession. Each called out their individual professions. When the king asked his men, 'A-ruu! A-ruu! A-ruu!' was their response. The king said,'I've brougt more army than you.' United they are with one goal in hand. To defeat those who call themselves Immortal(God). "Immortal they call themselves to put to the test"
Fear engulfed the other group when they saw the amount of army they are to fight with, Laughter spreads among the 300 men. For them they die for their nation. Die for their love to justice. Die to prove themselves of their capability. Die is nothing to them. The enemy died before charging as there was storm and sea became wild. Crashing their ships and drowned them to death. Many died, many were still alive.
The king regret. Regret of how few lives were to be sacrificed. Nevertheless, the war began. Thousands came charging towards them. With 300 men, strategicly take attacks. With power of fearless, they defeated their enemy. Victory to them. Victory!
Nevertheless, lives were sacrificed. Father lost his son. Fear of those who's weak began to conquer. The other group retreated. King knew what he has to do. King said,' We never surrender! We never retreat! We will fight to the end! We will fight till we die!' He sent one man who is capable of fighting. Not b'cus he's lost a sight but b'cuz HE has the power to tell. And so0, hundreds went off and only one turned back.
Even with just what he have left, King never surrender. They have no fear to die. Fight till his last breath. For the voice is no greater than his but the echo was being heard. His story was told and there are more than enough army to fight, 'A-ruu! A-ruu! A-ruu!' the powerful words were heard.... The end...
These are some of the parts that I want to share with you all. Their courage, spirit and self-respect gives a poerful message to me. To put this moral in life, I'd say... It thought me to be fearless. It thought me that even if I am small and lack of strength doesn't mean that I can't win without a fight. Having the courage, determination and VICTORY at the end of the road are all the matters. FEAR is no word to use. Die if I fail. Bottom line, I charged to defeat with my incapability. At the end of the road, you havn't try, you wouldn't know... hehehe...
I give 5 stars for these movie. Personally, I'd say that I love watching Lord of the Rings but I'd say, this movie is far more better than Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. One, the effects are great (maybe not much than of those magical stuff). Two, the language can be understo0d quite more simple than those of LOTR n HP. Three, gives more encouragement and lessons to be learnt. I would take back what i've said in the first paragraph... Even those who doesn't understand LOTR and HP.. You will definitely understand 300... After all, it's from a history. The language being used does exist only in a very, very ancient and formal way. LOTR and HP languages does not exist in reality but the effects and costumes are extraordinary.
We will fight in the shades
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:34 PM
300 is the number, 300 is to be proud of
I should have updated abt yesterday, yesterday itself. However, I didn't for one reason it was late at night and (o0hky, thats not a reason) Haizel is here. He's waiting for me to come home from work just as to play and put him to sleep. Yep2! My lovely nephew is here. When he's around, sometimes my long time plan might be postponed. Like today, I should be going somewhere but instead I will be going out with my mom. It's not confirmed yet, I'm waiting for Kinah's answer before 3pm. Now is 12:45 hrs... hehehe...
That's just the reason why i didn't update this yesterday. o0- kay... Kinah and I went to Vivocity at 11am just to catch 12:30hrs show. 300 was the movie we were after. We were so0 excited and couldn't wait to watch the movie. The effects from the trailer was damn SYIOK! hehe...
As you know, it's M18 and I had lost my i/c few weeks ago. I have no other documents with me except the receipt of the replacement of the new i/c. The girl told me that I need a document with my pic and particulars. That thing just consist of the particulars. o0h well... Without document, we weren't be able to go in.. I was like what??? I want to watch 300... Nevertheless, i jst gave her that receipt and she was approved of it... What a freaking relieve! We bought the 13:15hrs tix... We went to mac for a munch then off to the movie... Kinah gave me this tissue flower.. Thanks Kinah!! Do more of it for me... Thank you!!... hehehe... No, i wanna learn how to do it... Teach me!!!
I will have this excitement about going cinema. I will be so0 anxious to watch the movie that has yet to be appeared right infront of my eyes. In addition, it was cold. So0 the movie started....--->
With a story-teller it started and so0 o0n goes to the past which was then bring back to the present, back to the past and suddenly it all ended with the present... hahaa... I believe so0 for those who doesn't understand Lord Of The Ring, Harry Potter, Troy, Alexander - don't bother to watch 300 or Pathfinder... hehhe...
It's about war! A war that were against the Law. A war that the King fought with pride, honour and justice. 'Trust your reason', that's what the Queen mentioned. Without hesitation, King knew what he should do. A handful of men went forward to serve the King. 300 was the number that were brought to battlefield. Politician against the idea. King cares for lives to live, country to rule rightfully, rights for the people to be an individual as he's the King, the Father, the Brother, the Son and the elderly. 300 men without fear, with courage, determination, pride and love went on to the battlefield.
A few more came to support. The head were disgusted by how many men were going for the war. The king asked what's their(the other group) profession. Each called out their individual professions. When the king asked his men, 'A-ruu! A-ruu! A-ruu!' was their response. The king said,'I've brougt more army than you.' United they are with one goal in hand. To defeat those who call themselves Immortal(God). "Immortal they call themselves to put to the test"
Fear engulfed the other group when they saw the amount of army they are to fight with, Laughter spreads among the 300 men. For them they die for their nation. Die for their love to justice. Die to prove themselves of their capability. Die is nothing to them. The enemy died before charging as there was storm and sea became wild. Crashing their ships and drowned them to death. Many died, many were still alive.
The king regret. Regret of how few lives were to be sacrificed. Nevertheless, the war began. Thousands came charging towards them. With 300 men, strategicly take attacks. With power of fearless, they defeated their enemy. Victory to them. Victory!
Nevertheless, lives were sacrificed. Father lost his son. Fear of those who's weak began to conquer. The other group retreated. King knew what he has to do. King said,' We never surrender! We never retreat! We will fight to the end! We will fight till we die!' He sent one man who is capable of fighting. Not b'cus he's lost a sight but b'cuz HE has the power to tell. And so0, hundreds went off and only one turned back.
Even with just what he have left, King never surrender. They have no fear to die. Fight till his last breath. For the voice is no greater than his but the echo was being heard. His story was told and there are more than enough army to fight, 'A-ruu! A-ruu! A-ruu!' the powerful words were heard.... The end...
These are some of the parts that I want to share with you all. Their courage, spirit and self-respect gives a poerful message to me. To put this moral in life, I'd say... It thought me to be fearless. It thought me that even if I am small and lack of strength doesn't mean that I can't win without a fight. Having the courage, determination and VICTORY at the end of the road are all the matters. FEAR is no word to use. Die if I fail. Bottom line, I charged to defeat with my incapability. At the end of the road, you havn't try, you wouldn't know... hehehe...
I give 5 stars for these movie. Presonally, I'd say that I love watching Lord of the Rings but I'd say, this movie is far more better than Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. One, the effects are great (maybe not much than of those magical stuff). Two, the language can be understo0d quite more simple than those of LOTR n HP. Three, gives more encouragement and lessons to be learnt. I would take back what i've said in the first paragraph... Even those who doesn't understand LOTR and HP.. You will definitely understand 300... After all, it's from a history. The language being used does exist only in a very, very ancient and formal way. LOTR and HP languages does not exist in reality but the effects and costumes are extraordinary.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:34 PM
Friday, March 9, 2007
I can't sleep
I went to bed at 4.30am and couldn't get myself to sleep. Unwanted scenes keep playing in mind. I couldn't get myself to sleep with the silenceness around. I wish i had a switch which just shuts down everything and switch on when i have to. It would be interesting to have switches. hahaha... I would be a machine eh? erk! If i were to be a machine, i'd want to be a washing machine to wash away the dirt from the clothes. Erm... Well, i want to help those who's willing to accept my hand in order to make their life wonderful. Help them to wash away those fear and dirty darkness pieces that were left on them. Let's just say, i'm just guiding them and give them some thoughts abt life. Well, that if i were to be a washing machine. Then again, if it were to be an instrument as the subject. I want to be the drummer. Hit me as hard to hear the beat. I can't scream, i can't laugh if no one hits me and i will keep it inside. hahaha... Well, i am sleepy but like i told u... I couldn't get myself to sleep... hmph!!
I am just a girl who's finding herself and the meaning of life. I can be a guiding line upon my experiences, I can be an empty bo0k for you to write everything you want in it. Like you, I am searching for answer to unsolved problems...unanswered questions. There are more to the unknown than the known. Get yourself out of your comfort zone. Ask if you're not sure, keep asking if you can't get it. Ask until you satisfied, understo0d and summarised everything correctly. Life is all about knowing, learning and achieving. Teach those who needs the guidence. Knowledge is Power.... :D
o0hky, im full... I ate McDonald, Rice, nuggets and wedges. No wonder i'm a fat ass... hmm... There will be a point of time where i will eat so0 much and gain weight. haiz........ Can i please stop eating junks!! Well, you can say that i'm a health concious but at the same time I don't really care what I eat... huaks... o0hky, most of the time i will watch what i eat but at certain time, i don't bother... Like now.. I jst want to go to bed... argh!!... huaks... o0hky... I'm not sleep and i'm out of topic... so0, i'd say i play some quiz....
Your Dating Style:
Casual Dating
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You are all about taking things as they come, you may just date someone once or it could turn into a life long thing. You just enjoy the mystery of it all.
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| 'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
(stupid seh! hhahaha)
Your social skills are decent. You are able to make friends with a large variety of people and you probably have quite the social life. Go you.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
(dgr2... smone say ku anti-social.. hehehe... :P)
Haimin's Amazing Mental Ability ...
You can remember being born. While some might call this 'traumatic,' we like to call it 'an amazing mental ability'
(Remember ... with great power comes great responsibility!)
'What is your Amazing Mental Ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
(mcm kenal ajek.. great power comes with great responsibility)
| I don't know my blood type. | |
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Your blood type is unknown which means one of two things. Either you don't know what your blood type is because you have never been sick enough to need to know, which makes you lucky. Or you don't care enough to remember which makes you cool. Go you. | |
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| 'What does your blood type say about you?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
(what a shame that i don't even know my blo0d type?)
(contradictory)... hahaha
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
6:07 AM
Despair
Living in the ro0m
Thinking of life
Waiting for some clue
I need the truth
Watching the raindrops
The sky went dark
Thunder and storm
I need to hold on
Crashing down like the broken glass hits the ground
Scattered pieces on the flo0r
Hurting those feet walking by
Skin and blo0d to be seen
Torn and bleed
The feeling got worse
You make me angst
I fear, I live
Survived every dark alley while walking by
Strangers hit me, I kicked their ass
I'm soiled but I live and am Stronger than I was
Hit the ground, i sto0d up
A knife in my hand
I slit my wrist
Im still alive but I was dead
A new born baby I am with a smile on my face
Grudge? No no no
Revenge? No no no
Karma? Yes Yes Yes
Deserve anything by your own action
Awful it is
To live in such a place
Doesn't care, i am surviving
I have my own life to deal with
Leave! if u came to ruin it...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
3:32 AM
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Friends or Foes
Can you trust your friends when they say they'll be there for you?? Can you trust your friends that they would be missing without you? Can you trust your friends when they say next time we'll ask you? Can you trust your friends when they say they won't hurt you or tell anyone of you secret?? Can you really trust your friends? Are they your friends or are they your foes?
Ugly Betty is what i'd call myself. Unwanted by the society and being treated like shit. A handful of those will only understand. However, a handful of those will decrease into just a few. You feel betrayed when u trusted so0 much but unwanted around. You tried to fit in but your size is to0 big. The pain is so0 great but when you just said it, they all deny it. Would you feel comfortbale when the others ask ur closest friend to join but they never ask you? Even when you know that they will be going somewhere but when you somehow wanted to get the invitation the others just kept quiet and never ask,'would you want to come along?' It hurst quite deep. You thought that all these years and all the times you've spent would make no different how you'll be treated as you KNOW all of them... There would be no question if the new friends think you're that way and this way.. They're just new and they only knows a page from your life. However, and old time friends that you considered close treats you like strangers is far more greater pain that you will feel.
Sometimes what does a friend for if there's a gap in between. (I mean, best friend or close friend...) They are right indeed. A handful is not the ones but a few are those you can rely on. Don't speak of secrets with me... Don't speak of times you wouldn't want me to share with. You can say it straight to my face you're unhappy about it. You can lo0k into my eyes and say that you mean it. Lo0k into my eyes and see the tears falling. Isn't that what you all want? I maybe bad, I maybe rude... I have my own reason and my own way to deal with life... I'm not saying that my problems are worse than u but i'm saying that I am proud what i've gone through... Thank you for being part of my bo0k. Anywayz, i'd say u're a coward if you don't say the truth. I'm a person who will take the risk and any chance to get the truth. If it hurts me so0 badly that it poisoned me to death, I would take the risk. At the end of it all, I know the truth and it will heal.
I'm not mad neither am I glad. I'm just saying what I feel. I can cho0se not to say or to say. I am co0l and I am always co0l. If they want me, I am happy. If they don't want me, i can't force them to0. Either way, I am happy to be alive. I am happy to be just the way I am. Love me for me, Hate me for me. Know me for real, Fakers are just not me. I am laughing now! Friends or foes... Who cares? At the end of it all, i'll be alone in the ground. :D
-->>Friend or Foe, who are we to judge?
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:24 PM
The Boy
He was reminscing the moment they had. He misses her but he never tells. He's afraid. He fears she wouldn't want him to be near her. He pretend nothing happened, nothing of his feeling towards her triggers. He saw her but does she knows. Her smile, her laughters and everything about her seems to be so0 fine. 'Is she the ONE? Can she tolerate with me and my life?,' he asked himself.
He continues with his life as per normal. Up and down he encounters, he manages through life. He gives up the hope and the feeling towards her. She has a life of her own, probably better than his. He wouldn't want her to be caught up with his life and as a result ruined hers. He surrenders and walked away. She lo0k so0 happy and enjoying herself just as she is. At a time, he wanted to say the words but the words didn't come out when her eyes met his. 'Would it be wise to tell? Isn't it to0 so0n?,'he asked himself and he answered it as well--> 'To0 so0n it is and it's not wise to tell, no point in jumping straight and tell her that you like her cuz you might get hurt in the end'.
How he wish she knew? How he wish that she likes her to0? The time they spent, change the perspective of life. The time they're alone, does ever think abt him once in a while?
He receives a go0d news. He's life is so0 wonderful. His dreams are a step away, more hardwork to be put in for it. She asked how's he doing. A smile, he has pasted on him. He was busy but a line or two wouldn't kill. Should he tell her? No, it's to0 so0n... Lets just sit around and wait for the truth. Patience is all it takes.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:58 PM
The girl
She dashed in didn't lo0k to her side. She was sturggling to lo0k what's ahead and listening to the music the band was playing. Her best friend tapped her and she turned thinking that she wanted to say something instead her best friend pointing at her other side. There he was standing next to her. A flash of memory strikes her but she let go and tapped him saying 'HI'... In her heart she asked,' Do you still remember? Do you still want to be my friend or are you backing out and don't want to be near me anymore?' She assumed the answer and pretend that nothing happened. She walked in deeper and sto0d up watching the band. At the back of her mind, she didn't know if this was a go0d idea. She knows for one reason that she's there aiming for the music and having fun. She also knows the priority was to see him eventually. Kicking aside the fact that she has found yet she knew something was amissed.
She let go of the pain. She let go of the sorrow. Closing her eyes she drowned herself inside the music they play. Her mind taking her through and she's struggling to shed it off. Strong she feels. Weak she fears. Tears nearly dropped from her eyes but covered with her long hair and wipe them dry. The lo0k of him made her smile but the thought of him made her die. She wanted to bust out and run as far as she can go but at the same time, she's telling everyone that's just a show. Remembered she once told him that she is co0l with everything but what her thoughts may make her as a fo0l.
She misses him so0 much she didn't know why. He never called her once nor knows her well. She didn't know him but why the feeling just keeps coming in? She's cluless and confused. Her other side told her that this all feelings are fake. Nothing can be trust and no one can be trusted. With her own eyes she knows alot about pain. Everyone around scares her more than fate. However, she wants him to know. Then again, the words just won't come out when she had the chance.
He went out with the rest, she knew her heart was breaking and wished that he could have given her a handshake go0dbye. Nevertherless, the show must go o0n. Rythm to0k her to move, meloday to0k her to sleep and harmony to0k her with a smile she swings. She didn't care what the rest would have comment all she cares she's having fun with the music. She laughs, she smile but her heart crying dry.
Her hands move and type the words to one of them. Replied normally and He came to it. They began to exchange words and to her surprise, he thought she's attached. From then she knew what was amissed. He got it all wrong previously. Back to square one where he didn't know any single thing when she thought he knew and make it as if nothing. At once her heart felt relief and she was quite glad that he didn't. However, somewhere she wants him to know but she only said that her heart was stolen by somone she knew. He asked who but she didn't know if he really wants to know or just playing question game with her. She couldn't type the words right and only type unrelated ones.
Thought it would at ease the situation but she thinks that he might get the wrong idea again. Maybe that lucky guy he thought that has stolen my heart is another human being when all the while it's only him. She feels like she would stop playing games and say forward to him. She have no clue why the feeling is towards him but it's hard for her to explain to herself why not him? To0 early, to0 so0n... (Let the silence reveal it all... Patience is all it takes :D) Although she knew the answer will still be pain, a little hope won't kill the flame.....
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:26 AM
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Distorted scene
What a day today? Met up with Dee! Yepee... Been like almost years since we last met. Miss you, Dee... We've been catching up with things but it wasn't enough still we had fun. I should get a together with all of my fellow friends. I'm still trying to fix date with the Evergreen pri peeps and Ping Yi pri peeps. Anywayz, back to today. I woke up quite late today. I should stop this bad habit and get it to be a go0d habit. We were supposed to meet at Admiralty Place Mac and talk but instead, I dragged her to Dhoby Ghaut as I have somethings to send there.
I was glad to have met her after so0 long.... Without hesitation, we started off telling how's our life's been and bla bla bla... It was quite similar stuffy. Pretty much dislike with whatever is going on around us. In addition, with the boys matter. Can you actually believe guys saying 'i love you', 'I want to marry you' and 'i want to spend the rest of my life with you' when they only know your first name?? Can you believe guys that says,'you are the one' when he only knows ur age? Wait... can you believe guys that says, 'I love you' smo0thly like as if nothing bothered him when he only knows ur phone number??
I don't know what you peeps would think me as... However, guys are difficult to understand and likewise for them girls are difficult to understand. One minute the guys are saying this and the other minute, he's saying the opposite of what he have said at the first minute. Guys don't really read our minds but they wanted us to read their minds (sekali ku sebat)... Guys expect what they say as being the superior... Hel0o... Girls is also a human being not a robot...
I personally would say that I don't really believe in their words (only if they proved it to me). Words are just words. From my experiences, they are predators that are go0d with words. Tackle every weakness of each individual girls have. Once they had it, they play along.. painting it with beautiful colors and making us girls go blind when it's actually turning everything into black of darkness. Fo0lish of us to be blind but can't really blamed us. We were blind we should have fight and break free... Well, sometimes in life we will lo0se but sometime lo0sing will mean VICTORY in the future... Don't mess with us cause once u're screwed... You'll be crying for help ...
Believe it or not, I don't even encounter true love. I don't even know if true love or love at the first sight does exist. I do believe in Love or else where would family and friends go to0? Where would the care and concern be? Then again, relationship is another kind of undefinable love... It's just mysterious... Anywayz, you can never believe until you had it...
I am happy just the way it is... Flowing like the water in the river, falling from a height. Hitting with a splashing sound, refreshing and beauty to see... Nevertheless, don't give me that silly promises when you're don't even know me inside out... Don't give me those words when you only know my voice... Don't expect me to do things that totally irritates me and annoys me... I've learnt and I will use it against anyone whoever gets on my nerves... Mistakes are meant to Learn...
So0 much abt 'love'... Diyana and me went to watch Hannibal Rising. I thought it would be gruesome but it's not! Damn! However, it was quite o0hky... No comment... Only that grudge can make a person become a monster and seek revenge. A very awful revenge and it can be even worse than what the villain might hv done towards that one individual. hmm... The time was short so0 we hadn't really say much but we'll be meeting up so0n... Had fun!! Realize that we are of the similar state... We will make it through and sincerely judge by those who knows.... :D
-->The only love that can be trusted is the Love for Allah... Peace upon you
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
11:47 PM
Fun seh!!
There were Subatra, Hui Jun and Rosalinah along with me playing with the 'playground' at Vivocity. There were this water part where you can go under it from one end to the other. It was fun for us to actually take up the challenge and get WET! I wasn't sure that they would be into it even after getting wet. It's really fun! The boys in other hands were eating BK. So0, they were eating and we were playing... hahaha... Like father and children seh!! huaks.. We had fun, that's all that counts. The outcomes however were really funny... one of us were wearing white (get wet would mean... y'know what... Luckily the pants were black).... another one hurt her toes (blister from the abration)... and another got her pants torn (luckily that no one sees it)... another one wearing black (FREEZING!)... HAHAHA!!... Can't stop laughing seh...
Before the day ends with the silliness, we were in the heavy rain while working. It was fun but still.. quite funny coz we got drenched... Deserve it, though! We didn't want to wear the SMELLY yellow raincoats. For god knows how, my had suddenly hurt and burise appeared. hehehe... It's been along time that i write report so0 i've forgotten the correct way to write it... eheks.... Got abit from the sups... haiyah....
Talking abt sup... One of my sup told me that i've put on weight!! Aiy0o0o0o... I thought that i've lost weight as my pants are lo0se now and i do lo0k quite smaller in the mirror now... huaks... o0h well, what the heck!! By right, I should go for the exercise to lo0se weight... hahaha...
Money can't buy happiness... Having fun in life and spending time with friends and family are the best gift and enjoyment that anyone could get... I really had fun with the peeps and we should do it quite often to0... There are alot of silly stuff in my mind to be doing in Sentosa itself... eheks... :D I just realise that my primary scho0l teacher,Mr Tayeb once said that the maturity of a boy and a girl is different. Boys would be 'childish' at the age of 13-21 and girls would be quite matured arnd that age.... However, gilrs would start being childish when they grow older or somesort... huaks... I guess, he's right at some point... Then again, it's up to the individual maturity.. For me, I am always young at heart and there are times to have fun as well as times to be serious... :D
--> Be silly to have fun!!! :D
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
1:25 AM
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
5th of March (Dreams)
I watched a documentary about teens life (as they've put it) and it was about this girl and her band making music. Well, she's a high qualification student while the other two 'Mat Rockers' highest qualification was primary sch education. The mother of this girl was against her doing her stuff but her father was very supportive. One day she began to slack and admitted that she's bored with studies and wanted to further their music. One of her band member was quite furious as he has promise her dad that they will not interfere with her study to approved that she'll be joining in the band. 'No diploma, No band!' That's what he said to her and walked off... However, she did what she had to do and it was all go0d. They're invited to perform at a music festival or something... can't remember... Then it ended saying that she quits the band and further her studies.
It was an inspiring show indeed. She went for her dreams and had it achieved. It was difficult for her to actually cope with hanging out with the guys as her mother is quite old-fashioned and being to0 worried about her as well as against what she's doing. Nevertheless, she overcomes it with the help of her father and her band members. Grateful to have such caring and concern band members who takes care of her and her future needs. However, as my own personal opinion, I am glad at the same time quite disappointed that she said she didn't want to study and wants to play music all the way. True enough that without Diploma, you can get nowhere in Singapore. Then again, the show ended with she quitting the band and continued studies is quite 'Hershey Strawberry Pie and Cupcake'...
The reason why --> the show illustrate inspiration to the youngster to make music BUT for the fun of it instead of having it as a passion and a dream. I am not arguing that studies is not important but I am pointing out that DREAMS are meant to achieve. Studies are just qualification/certificate towards a specific job that requires it. In overall message it says, "You can't have such DREAM as it doesn't have a future" which is not true. You haven't try, you wouldn't know. It's as if hopeless even when you go so0 far... It is quite a bad reflection i'd say. This is just my own opinion.
After that, there's this show called Bintang. It's about this old singer Yazid former LoveHunters member. Don't laugh, I just know that they're from Singapore as well as Sweet Charity. I thought they're from Malaysia. Excuse my late dated info. Anywayz, this show tells about Yazid-LoveHunters-Yazzbo... He telling us about his life being him and how he become a star. How and where he started to play the guitar, singing.. How and where the band started.. ETC.... Almost everything. This i'd say it is an inspirational and i mean, Positive Inspirational documentary/show. It tells about an artist life from the hardwork (before he became an artist) of how to become a star to how to live as a star and sustaining and continue achieving the passion of music.
I believe that this show has make the youngsters who loves music and has the passion of it will go on and create/compose thier music and keep on doing what they love to do for living. Nevertheless, not forgetting the studies to0. Having such dream doesn't mean we have to neglect our studies for surviving the reality. Keep it alive, listen and dance...
-->> Dreams do come true
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
3:21 AM
I am 19 as of 2007. Born on 25 July (hari raya haji eve in 1988 at A timing). The third and the last child. Has a cat named BOB, treats him like a brother.
I love Music. Music is my Life.
Treasures friends, family and my Dreams. Daring I am, rebellious still. Passionate and determines my life, no one could steal it from me but HIM.
Blessed with what I have!! Obstacles after another, Patience I learn. Afraid not, I cannot FEAR!! So0 Many, So0 Little... Love me for ME, Hate me for ME. Know me for Real, Fakers are just not me