Monday, August 27, 2007
-
An Expressionist express his feelings through painting. However, different people view each painting with different perspective. A self-potrait can mean just nothing but it can also mean other thing.
Actually, I got nothing much to say and I'm pretty sleepy... But need too go to work.. hmph! I can survive... hehehe... :P...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
8:32 AM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Crow
I had a nightmare that scare the sheet out of me. Weak and fear surrounds me. I was alone and had no one. The darkness, trapped me inside and there was no way out. "A dungeon in my own hand". I can't imagine what the meaning was but the fear feeds the darkness and weak came through the way.
Black is the color. Emptiness, revenge it's seek. Despair and misery is the feeling. Fear it feeds and laughs to those who's weak. Living hell it may have seem. Cure of the pain still in of searching.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:29 PM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Licin
The breeze brush my skin and the aroma of the morning freshness so0thes my thoughts. Although the tiredness was compelling but still responsibility measures my actions. The hardness seems to be increasing however, thoughts of the 'calms' assist with the resistance of failure.
Arriving to the destination, the butterfly flew across me. Showing me that the freedom isn't bad and the beaty is upon me. Smile pasted on me and thankful to the buttrerfly to have make the beginning happy. Walk a few stepa away, jerked by the fact a squirrel ran pass by me. Scare by the shock, it makes me laugh. Squirrel was so near and it was the first time that I was so0 close to a brave squirrel. It didn't seems to be running from me, in fact, making me notice it. It jumps off with style and make his way as I have to make my way through the day.
It was a pleasant beginning to begin a day with. I am thankful and appreciate with the nature. I'm not alone and I never is. No one can defeat loneliness. The day is so0 smo0th that I can hardly feel the draginess. Hopefully the next up Sun would also be as pleasant or even better than the day i've went through. Until then, have a pleasant day ahead of you.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
9:24 AM
Monday, August 20, 2007
to0 lazy
I admire those with hair that is so0 silky and straight. I have that kind of hair but not into the extreme of silkiness. However, i don't really like my hair to be extremely neat. In fact, I am proud to have such straight n lovely hair. At the same time, I prefer to have messy hair. I don't comb my hair often. Sometimes, in a month... only once or twice i would comb my hair... I'm to0 lazy to comb though... hahaha...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
7:29 AM
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Lame
Dead Silence was quite an o0hky story. Enjoyed it, co0l stuff and storyline. However, there's some missing parts and pieces. Then again, it's really co0l. hahaha... I'd say, 2 and the half potatochips?... hahah...
I'm so0 addicted to Hot chocolate. So0 yummy2! But, i had chocolate milkshake just now such that didn't hv time to buy hot choc at 7-eleven... o0h well, it's taste as go0d as ever. hahaha... love it... Making myself feeling hungry... huaks! I used to love doughnut but Im getting tired of eating them. I like Dunkin Doughnut though. Whenever i'm visiting my dentist, I would make my trip to Dunkin Doughnut... Yummy Yum yum! But then, the flavours are all the same n it started to to taste like nothing... hmph...
I am still wondering what's my future holds. We can't chase time neither time chasing us. As the pin goes round, a day has passed and a new day arrives. Will I ever be where I dreamt I'd be in a few years time? Will I ever see whatever I dreamt of seeing in a few years time? Will I still breathing in a day time? Questions keep repeating itself but no answer seems to finding their way. Wish that someone could tell but hey, we can't run faster than the time neither can we run slower than time. Wait!
To the lost; there's nothing you can do to change it. You are not alone. Almost 99.9% of human beings are facing the similar problems. Smile all the way and laugh it your way. The matter is 'You'...
--> Timeless
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
10:23 PM
&ti-SewShel
There was she standing alone with her smile on her face. People aren't around her, she lives by herself. Socialisation isn't her world. The world is round and she's the only one in it. Happy and gay she is... She hopes that no one would invade and destroy it. Only her.. Only She... Only one that lives...
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
2:27 PM
Updates
I know it has been like so0 so0 long (except the previous one) since I've update some stuff here. Well, I think I am one of the typical blogger to let the whole world know about me. 0oh well, I want them to read my bo0k one day. That if i were to be a writer in the future which I don't think I can cause I don't posses the strong language. At least a blog can make me feel like a writer myself. Informal writer perhaps. Just some sharing here and there.
To start from where i've stopped would be like so0 long2... Shortened it-> Yesterday
Went out with my cousinz for shopping and relieving the strez. I can be really brutal at times and grunge. Anywayz, we went to Cineleisure to watch Dead Silence and upsettingly it's sold out. :'( So0, we went for lunch at Burger King and saw lots of caucasian guys. F.Y.I, they're younger than me. Luck goes to my cousin then. Hmph! Hahaha, o0h well... It's not wrong just to lo0k at them. hahaha... I bought quite alot of stuff and it's damn stubborn of me lah kan! haha...
We went to HMV and i listened to Korn, Sum 41 and Smashing Pumpkins. There was this one uncle listen to i think Marilyn Mason or some other hardcore band arr... He was really 'enjoying' himself to the MAX! I was like, wo0w!!! It may seems funny but I salute him... I respect him... Anywayz, I was listening to those three bands and was also enjoying myself but not as extreme as the uncle. The music that went through my eardrums and into my head, was brutally affecting me and I wanted to cry. It changed my mo0d and I was tempted to buy all. The music is freaking nice lah. Then I went over to other side to listen to other bands. I can't remember then name of the band but the music was also so0 co0l. I wanted to buy the whole HMV... hahaha... o0h yeah, I also come across Paul McCartney... He's music is a oh so moving!! Damn! I feel like buying almost everything... hahaha...
My cousin told me about an MP3 cost less than $100 and I was interested in buying it. It's ZenStonePLuz I think... hahaha... So0, we went on to Funan IT Mall to searched for it. The first shop cost over hundred plus and the second was $99.. I wanted to buy but I don't own a windows XP. Then again, Kinah have. So0 I bought the black colour. As you know, I love Black so0 much that it seems to be me instead. It's really co0l. My second MP3 with 2GB. Hahaha... I'm so0 excited. I also bought headphones. haha..
Then we went on to meet my aunty who is already there with some other cousin at Esplanade. It has been really a strez week for us. Fireworks seems to ease our mind for the kids. I shouldn't come along cause I need to do other stuff but I'm more go0d at baby-sitting... HUaks!
Arriving there, we were at the place where there were a platform performance once. We waited for so0 long and it was quite warm. There were a few peeps that screamed and doing silly stuff to0. hahaha... They were worst though. Count down to fireworks... We were all so0 anxious. Alot of jokes were coming out of my aunty. I was so0 cannot angs arr... ahahha...
There's the fireworks. The peeps were screaming as if they were being raped. I was quite distracted but the sound of fireworks seems to dissolved well. hahaha... It's pretty much irritating however. The fireworks were really nice. I was enjoying myself and felt the EMO. It's lasted for 15-20 mins I think and damn nice lah. I wish there would be fireworks on my wedding 0r maybe fireworks for me... huaks! hahaha.... Dream 0n!!
The place was damn packed with alot of people and we were stuck somewhere. I went on my way to meet some of my fwens to pick up somethings. Come across a kid called Hidir. He's Hayati son and he's damn cute and very the funny. I feel awkward though. hahaha... Niways... He is 3 years old. Reminds me of Irfan. To compare Hidir n Irfan.. I can't believe Irfan lo0ks more older... hahaha... o0h well, just lo0k at the aunty lah... Lo0ks matureed! huaks... Then after we went home. We went home al0ne such that different way. So0, alone lah aku ni. I sleep all the way through. Really co0l...
At home, I tried to transfer song to the MP3.. Upsetting lah!! Cannot! o0h well, I'm gonna have to make Kinah strez... hahaha... Sorry gal... There's some pictures from yesterday below;
(Damn! Pack)
(Hidir)
(Elfie n Hidir)
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
12:06 PM
I am such an As$
I am such an 'S'. I've brought everything without seeing the space. I put on everything without estimating how heavy it may seems. They will kill me if thEy know... How am I suppose to confront them when whatever they say fears me most and I'd be stumbling and falling down a very deep black hole. Can I? Will I? Expecting the worst and I will never complain cause I deserves it...
I may have acted such a way that people might take it the wr0ng way. I just want to apologise to those whom might think me the wrong way. I was just kidding and it isn't what you peeps should think. Words may mean other thing but being used to be meant other things. I am just a simple person who likes to be simple and straightforward (face to face). I will say when I say it is. If you think and feel like there's something wrong or right, -DON'T- cuz it may not be. I also like people to ask me questions if they're unsure. So0, don't be afraid and ask. :D Sometimes, i maybe such an 'S' that people won't ask and I would act... This can be really brutal. hahaha...
o0h well, I am such an 'S' because some of the matter that's flying around un-noticely. Make it a point that, I am a human with feelings and emotions. I also have brain just like the rest of you. How I bring my current and wave is different from those of you. Everyone is imperfect and they have their own style. Remember, whatever i say, is an IS... Never assume me and I never meant other way if it is what I mean... Got what I mean? Feel free to ask... This isn't private... It's for the public, if it is so0 why Blog! ... o0hky...
Perhaps, the weather changes and things can be really difficult to understand sometimes. I am happy and I hope it stays that way and better. Forgive me is I am being usch an 'S' towards some of you
--> Everyone has their part to play and theirr part to smile.
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
10:37 AM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Blank
Seems like my post have been really empty... I apologise for the simplicity and to0 plain of my blog. This is due to the tight schedule that I have and also to the problems encounter both mechanically,mentally and physically. I hope for your understanding... Thank you... Hahaha...
So0 damn formal! Anywayz, will get everythinI(almost everything) settle first. I will put up some pictures and updates for you all... Nothing much interesting though... o0h well, until then...
Peace
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
9:46 AM
Monday, August 13, 2007
I can't be a leader, I'm a follower (Very low self-esteem)
Went for a leadership camp or as similar, I realised that I can't be a leader. I have no qualities of being one. Except, I ensure the safety rather than the mission itself. What the heck?! Being the leader, I felt that I am a useless shit! One, I don't know how to communicate. Two, i don't hold the words to have them attention. Well, I suppose being a leader should posses the words and the voice to catch the attention (from my opinion) Thirdly, I don't have the confidence either. I believe that my other team member is better at being a leader. Perhaps because I have little or limited knowledge. hmm... Everyone does... Well, let's just say... I'm weak a being a leader... hmph...
I'll be out! Peace
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
9:53 AM
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Just
hahaha... I am out of control, laughing at myself. I may hv said that "I want a boyfriend now" but the facts, "relationship = bullshit". The reason I said those things is because what is happening around me. Let's face it, being a normal human being, love is just something that's been around from the start and it is natural that beings are lo0king for it. However, the attitude and behaviour caused by it simply hurts and ended up to bullshit meaning of relationship. Therefore, it was just a statement understated of how i lo0k at it.
Obviously, all of you would want to know which stage i'm at... Well, factfully... I don't really care about such stuff... I have lots of other things to worry about and it is the least one that i should concentrate on. Admitting it, sometimes it does get abit empty but simply better than getting the mirror shattered.
I am glad that people noticed me as a random kid and that I am an irritating freak to be entertained by. One, people don't understand me and people tend to misto0k some things into an opposite meaning of what I actually meant it by. Two, I just have no style for them. Three, I don't have the 'lo0ks'... I can be really scary... hahaha.... I might go on and on... Let's get to the point, I am just a random kid that a handful of people to0k notice of.
To me, it is such a sad thing that sometimes people treated as what they intended to were taken wrongly and ended up to either an end or just just. Which i don't understand... 'ending' and 'just just' ... Some said it's for the better and some said it's just a waste. hmm... To me frankly, is a waste! Why? Let's face it, how would u feel when you were once closed and suddenly it just ended? Be it, relationship or friendship or whatever... Don't you feel abit missing? o0h well, some people just so0 like that... Some people just treasure... Either way... It's for the best for both, i guess...
Whichever step you take... If you think it's for the best for both or either one, be it... If you are confident to face the consequences that comes along with it. Additionally, the steps may just come back to you or the step you taken aren't the step at all... if you know what i mean?
oo0hky... That's all I have to say... Peace
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
11:41 PM
Sunday, August 5, 2007
It exploded
The bombs ticking and waiting for the time to end. The policce force, the S.W.A.T came over and cut each one of the wires. Each wire were cut and each wire never stops the time, instead it goes on ticking faster. Tried to slow it down. Nothing seems to work... Kababo0m it goes... And went off, it explodez!
Searching for the missing pieces. Glued upon the broken ones. Bleed as one is taken, and anxiously searching on. Mixed with the other broken pieces. Found the wrong and threw and searching again. When will it stop, when will it appear, where is the missing pieces, come and make it to one piece again.
STOP! said it all. How and why? Can't hold on long! Can't take the pain! Let it die and rot alone. Let it die... Let it die....
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
10:56 PM
Alamak!
The life is half dead
Makes her heart break
Tears flow down
In her tears, she drown
Screaming her heart out
She can't voice out her thoughts
Diaries she wrote
Mirror on the wall broke
Memories drove past
Time fly by so0 fast
Wished she could rewind
Time of mistake to be unwind
Pain! Pain! Pain!
Frown! Frown! Frown!
Alone!Alone!Alone!
That's when she goes kabaBO0M!
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
4:01 AM
Random
I wish I am there, stading right next to you
Yet I am here standing, far from both of you
It' so0 sad,There's a crack in the middle
And I'm being cast away from my home where I belong
There's a time to waste
There's a time to control
Is it time to say go0dbye
From the ones that I love
The smile and the laughter, the joy and excitement
The trip that you brought me with
The happiness that we had
What will happen, if it ends tonight...
I will cry, i will scream
I will bleed
There will be blo0d stream
There's no way out, im in pain
Why can't you understand me.......
? a life to0 precious to WASTE.
3:54 AM
(Damn! Pack)
(Hidir)
(Elfie n Hidir)
I am 19 as of 2007. Born on 25 July (hari raya haji eve in 1988 at A timing). The third and the last child. Has a cat named BOB, treats him like a brother.
I love Music. Music is my Life.
Treasures friends, family and my Dreams. Daring I am, rebellious still. Passionate and determines my life, no one could steal it from me but HIM.
Blessed with what I have!! Obstacles after another, Patience I learn. Afraid not, I cannot FEAR!! So0 Many, So0 Little... Love me for ME, Hate me for ME. Know me for Real, Fakers are just not me